To See Another Day
by Kain Servant
Summary: And you thought I stopped writing...be entertained! (hopefully) x.x
1. Prologue

Prologue:  
  
"This is a world of reason. Without reason, needless to say, we would be helpless, changing with the slightest breeze of chance. Reason is the force that tells us to follow the established laws, tells us to eat when we are hungry, to wear clothing in public, tells us not to harm others or compromise their rights.  
  
Reason, this fragile flower that all humanity clings to. We say we have it, or, perhaps we are in charge of our reason. No...I doubt that. I believe more that it possesses us, like some elusive spirit, for the good of course. For the good of what? Humanity?  
  
I've noticed, in my many wanderings around this thriving pool of life, that those who lose their reason, those who choose to ignore the fundamental laws and patterns of society, trade this 'reason' for something else. Power...Strength perhaps? Decidedly they gain some great will that causes them to press on beyond the point that most humans clinging to their reason would go. So can I really say that reason is a boon to humanity? No...not really. It would really delight me to see where these creatures would go if every one of them was stripped of their reason.  
  
But such a thing only happens for specific reasons, at specific times. A sort of preordination, a fate. There are three forces that are stronger than reason, strong enough to drive men away from laws. The first is love, an emotion so strong it overwhelms the boundaries of mere companionship and causes the affected human to go to all extremes to keep his love intact. A very strange thing, this love, how sacred, how delightful...how abominable.  
  
Then there is the opposite emotion of love. Revenge. A hate so strong and pure that it pulls a man away from the boundaries of reason and causes him to do anything within his means, and sometimes out of them, to fulfill his terrific passion. Amazing, really...the heroes of this society are usually affected by one of these two emotions. Complete opposites; yet somehow bound together - one man will call another a hero if he loves, or if he hates. The cause makes no difference as long as the effect is pleasing.  
  
The third emotion that defies reason is Insanity. The purest abstraction of human thought...no one loves the insane. These are locked away, insulted, mourned over, killed. The insane are considered below humans. Heh...these rejected, while those obsessed with love or revenge are lauded. How do we know that the insane are not just one step above, that they do not see something that we do not, perceive what we do not. How do we know that the insane are not the greatest among us?"  
  
The man slowly traced the edge of his wine goblet, removing the thin layer of sugar that had formed. He had fallen so deep into his thoughts that he had almost forgotten there was someone there with him. Slowly his slate eyes looked up across the low wooden bar table at the aging man sitting across from him. The man was cloaked, for secrecy, in a great brown lump of a robe, stealing most of his body from view, but his face was still visible, wreathed in a bushy white beard. The old man's jet black eyes pierced acutely into his own. "Hmm...I suppose you are lost to humanity? A little revenge eating you up, perhaps?"  
  
"Yes..." The old man growled sullenly, angrily. "They will all pay for their crimes."  
  
"Very dramatic, very emotional...but you emotion is very human. Your emotion has not helped you much so far - look at where I am, and you are all the way back at the bottom, angry at the children that kicked you down. Angry...heh. Calm yourself, child...pure emotion will never win the day. You must use your mind to its full capacity, think for once."  
  
The cloaked man recoiled at the use of the word 'child', then snarled angrily back, "I know my orders, Shade. I heard them straight from the source. It's not your place to tell me what to do."  
  
Shade shrugged and sat back, downing the rest of his wine. He felt very good, very sedated. Perhaps one more drink and he would go back to his room, maybe search around for a bargirl to keep him happy. Yon infuriated him, though he would not show that on the outside. Needless emotions, such as anger, simply wasted his time and efforts. Anger was never necessary, neither was revenge. "Suit yourself, but be wiser in the future...so far you have been a complete waste of power, always butchering even the best efforts. I do not know why you were even chosen for the power."  
  
"Listen h-"  
  
"Careful. Just...be careful. Or else someone will catch on to you and your little trinket there." Shade nodded casually, but the old man's hand shot instinctively up to his neck. Amusing...Shade smiled, "They'll put you in a circus...five gil to see the Invincible Man."  
  
A few moments passed as Yon suppressed his anger, then he spoke through grinding teeth, "All I know is that I do have the power, I do have the mission, and the motivation. And I will use it, I will conquer and destroy this time. I will get my revenge!" At that he rose and stomped away, leaving a few patrons of the bar looking inquisitively at the table.  
  
Shade set down the glass, putting a hand to his neck to clasp the small amulet he wore, a glass eye - completely white with a red pupil. "Ah...revenge. It's a pity you're not insane."  
  
-- 


	2. Signature of the Moon

"Ruby, do you remember that one time, under the weeping willow?" The theatre was closed, and only a few dim lights stayed on to throw twisted shadows in the half-light. Blank stood, his shoulder raised casually against a cold brick wall, his eyes staring intently into Ruby's giant blue portals.  
  
"Hmm?" She asked quietly, digging through her purse, "What are you talking about?" Blank watched her with a joking smile on his lips. She sure was a beauty, even more so now that she was wealthy and had the money to waste on pampering. All of his child hood fantasies had been focused around Ruby...some things never change.  
  
"Remember, you told me that you loved me." Ruby's eyes quickly shot up at this suggestion.  
  
"Oh you liar, I never said any such thing."  
  
"Of course you did!" Blank insisted, drawing a little closer, "You just don't remember it...maybe it was all the wine you drank at dinner that night."  
  
"Liar...Blank give it up. I can't believe it's been over a year since I've seen you and you're still at your childish game." Ruby shook her head slowly and looked back down into her purse, "Why don't you just find someone else?"  
  
"Childish?" Blank stepped away quickly, scoffing at the very idea, "Just trying to bring up the best part of our friendship, that's all. We had quite an intimate thing going for a while...just wanted to...you know," He turned his back, staring at the vast dark stage above him as he waved his hand, "Umm...see if that relationship is still alive."  
  
"I barely talked to you. Blank you're here to act, not to pick up a date. Please act mature."  
  
Act...ah yes, that was the point of this. About a week ago the Queen had sent for the members of old Tantalus, to see if they could put on a play for her third anniversary. Of course no one declined, so there they were, a week later, waiting for the others so they could begin practicing. Ruby of course didn't have to go anywhere, seeing as it was her theatre that would be performing the play. Ruby's theatre had become somewhat of a hit in the past three years. She kept expanding and expanding, and more people kept coming and coming...leaving her quite wealthy.  
  
Blank, on the other hand, had never quite grown out of the rogue's role. Tantalus had broken up, for the most part, after the War of the Worlds, so Blank had decided on a new career. Card Shark. He played the taverns and gambling halls of Kazal, a small town on the outskirts of Lindblum. And so far he was fairly successful. With everything but women.  
  
"Hello kids." Marcus grunted as he burst in through the door, throwing a few of the last rays of sunlight in with him. First Marcus noted who was in the room. Noted the position they were in. Noted the silence...and smiled. Damn him.  
  
"Hey Marc, how's guard duty?" Blank smiled broadly as he stepped over to greet his old friend. Marcus had taken the opposite path of Blank, the path of law. Due to his extreme swordsmanship, he was appointed as the Captain of the Guards in Alexandria, and so far had ruled the populace in safety with his iron blade.  
  
Marcus nodded, his smile still present, "Not bad...not bad...how are the pickup lines going for you?"  
  
"Haah..." Blank growled, trying to think of a witty comment. Unfortunately, Ruby beat him to it.  
  
"Careful Marcus, once he's done with me he might start telling you about the old love affair you two had." Ruby yawned, smiled sweetly at Blank, then glided over to the stage where she began straightening chairs. Marcus wrinkled his nose,  
  
"I hope not."  
  
Blank's eyes followed her down the aisle, "You know...I just realized...I don't like her."  
  
"Hey scumbuckets! Ready to get your act together?" Baku threw the door open, his full figure framed dramatically in the doorway with all the ennui of an actor performing his death scene. Cinna followed quickly on his heels, giving a quick wave to the room. Baku and Cinna had both remained stationed in Lindblum. There Baku continued his underhanded dealings. In the past three years he had been in and out of half a dozen thieves guilds, all of which he called 'insufficient compared to the glory of Tantalus'. It had always been Baku's dream to be a great leader, and he would probably never stop until he reached his goal.  
  
Cinna followed Baku as faithfully as ever, and almost as clumsily. He tripped down the stairs, narrowly avoided a collision with Baku, and ended up sprawled on his knees panting. "How you...folks been doing?" Cinna gasped, trying to regain his cool.  
  
"Well, actually..." Ruby strode toward the door with a smile on her face.  
  
"Actually we're all doing just peachy." Blank coughed, "Just living our own little lives, you know... how are you?"  
  
"Great, great." Baku snorted and moved forward to give Marcus and Blank a hearty pat on the back. "It's good to see a few competent criminals for once...whoever is training these new knuckleheads in Lindblum is doing a horrible job at it."  
  
"Ex-criminals." Marcus muttered with raised eyebrows. Baku shrugged,  
  
"Of course, of course. So, are we ready to knock Alexandria back on its ass again?"  
  
"I suppose..." Ruby answered mildly, "I've hired a few actors to fill in the minor roles we're missing...and...Zidane will be playing his part, but he can't make it tonight."  
  
"Can't make it tonight?" Baku roared, "What's keeping him?"  
  
"There is some sort of autumn party going on at the palace, and Zidane has to attend." Ruby sighed. Baku turned his back, grumbling his resentment to the darkness,  
  
"Damn that kid, he never did give a damn for us, did he? Hah...guess he can't make his precious queen look bad, now can he?"  
  
"I don't think that's possible." Blank murmured. All eyes turned to him, and he explained quietly, "Making the queen look bad, that is. I don't think she's ever looked bad."  
  
"Hmm...jealous?" Ruby sent her sweet smile Blank's way one more time, and he growled at it through a forced smile.  
  
"Of course, my dear. Who wouldn't be jealous of a man sitting with a fine queen on a pot of gold? Sounds pretty good to me."  
  
"Hey, Blank, don't worry. You'll get your chance." Marcus offered helpfully.  
  
Blank looked down. "Yeah, sure. Alright, are we going to practice this play or what? Time for Tantalus to shine one more time." Chance. That was what he dealt with in cards. Chance. What a fickle word, a word with no truth to it. Chance won him everything in cards, and lost him everything in life. How fitting. He placed the smile on his face one more time and jumped to the stage. Time to act.  
  
--  
  
It was quite a beautiful night. A light misty rain sprinkled the lush green grass outside the castle walk, blurring the moon from her full glory. Ethereal stars shone down from above, and lights shone from below, flaming torches of revelry. And all of this light focused on Garnet; she was the strongest star; she was the beautiful night. Zidane leaned over his half- full glass of wine to peer intently at his wife, smiling broadly through the faint fog of drunkenness and listening to the conversation spinning around him.  
  
"Rather pompous of them, isn't it? Barely a year after they formed a city-state, and now that idiot Crawford believes he is greater than our blessed kingdom." One ancient nobleman pressed urgently across the narrow table. The queen just nodded politely,  
  
"Well, Alexandria may be great, but the economy and trade has not grown in quite some time. In the past few years almost every nation but Alexandria has begun trading across the seas."  
  
"But there is no need to, my lady!" Another advisor objected loudly, "Everything we could possibly need is right here on the Mist Continent."  
  
"Of course. But sometimes efficiency can be discarded for the sake of diplomacy. Conde Petei, the Black Mage Village, and Daguerro are all flourishing towns - if we do not embrace this opportunity for long distance trade, we may lose out on valuable future allies."  
  
Zidane drained his glass and let his head sink to the table. No one ever asked what his opinion was in matters like this. They just stared at him indifferently, sniffing through their snobby noses, sometimes adding a polite smile because he was the Queen's husband. He didn't care. He was the Queen's husband. He didn't care if he ever spoke an intelligent word at a meeting, or made a single diplomatic gesture. He could protect Garnet; that was what he could do. He could love her...and he was sticking to that.  
  
As if hearing his thoughts, Garnet turned her intelligent eyes to him, and offered an apologetic smile, mouthing one word. 'Wait' Wait...he smiled happily and winked at her. He knew what he was waiting for.  
  
"Zidane." Zidane turned his head sluggishly to see Steiner stooping over him, looking very formal and awkward in his gleaming steel armor decorated with red velvet. The big knight's face seemed a whirlwind of emotions, nervous...very nervous, but happy - and tired, and satisfied. "Zidane I have to talk to you for a second."  
  
"Excuse me, gentlemen. Beautiful lady." Zidane stood and bowed too deeply, winning a giggle from Garnet. "I have a little important business of my own to conduct. Goodnight." With a heavy sigh of relief he turned away from the table to face Steiner with a smile. He had a feeling he knew what Steiner's question was.  
  
The Knight, or more technically, Defense General of Alexandria, led Zidane to a quieter locale away from the walk, down to the gardens, resting peacefully by the river. From this position, Steiner began to mumble and babble between nervous chuckles, all the while staring up adoringly at the lighted area, where his angel sat a few seats across from the Queen.  
  
Commanding General Beatrix, the beautiful slayer whose allegiance had been to Alexandria, the country itself, for longer than most could remember. Although her dress was usually casual, geared for war over fashion, for the banquet she had graced herself with a shimmering blue dress that trickled down her form like magic. Steiner's eyes could not pull away. "She's so...beautiful, isn't she?"  
  
"Yep." Zidane's eyes wandered from Steiner's catch to his own, sitting in a pool of abnormal elegance...the Moon, she was the moon in her tight fitting white gown laced with gold. Long matching white gloves held her hands as they moved and laughed and spoke to the men surrounding her - her adoring audience, adoring for more reasons than the conversation of diplomacy. He wasn't jealous that they craved her attention...because he knew they were all jealous of him. She was his, his very own moon. "Beautiful."  
  
"So," Steiner stammered, "I-"  
  
"You're going to ask Beatrix to marry you, is that it?" Zidane smiled lazily and sank to a garden bench to more comfortably enjoy the view. Steiner hurriedly followed suit.  
  
"Yes, I...you - how'd you know?"  
  
"You're nervous, you're in love, you're living together...I dunno, sounds pretty logical to me."  
  
Steiner smiled nervously, "Hah...of course, yes, that's it. So...well, I'm not quite sure how I should approach this...you know, of course, she's such a lady - I don't feel right just going out and saying it bluntly...I think I should do something special first, like take her to dinner or..." Steiner rambled on, Zidane barely listening. There was no discernable point when Zidane became Steiner's confidant. It probably had something to do with Zidane and Garnet's marriage occurring simultaneously with Steiner and Beatrix's love life - and Zidane became quickly referred to as the 'Master of Love' in Steiner's books. Zidane, of course, still didn't really like Steiner, but the man sure was dogmatically loyal, and he never meant any harm..."So what do you think?"  
  
"My personal suggestion would be to...buy her a ring, get drunk for a little courage, and pop the question after a good night of sex."  
  
Steiner's face reddened considerably, "Sir, that suggestion questions my honor! Of course I would not get drunk - it runs against the rules of my position! And to...bed...Beatrix, before our lock into marriage - it's just not-"  
  
"Honorable, hmm? Whatever." Zidane shrugged and patted Steiner heartily on the back, "That's just advice from me to you - I'm sure she'll say yes no matter what you do. Knock yourself out."  
  
Steiner eyed Zidane up and down for a moment, probably wondering to himself how someone so roguish won the queen. They'd never figure it out. Steiner finally nodded, offering a faint smile to Zidane, "Thank you...I hope so."  
  
--  
  
Blank traced the cold stone wall with his index finger as he stared across the river at the luminous full moon, who stared brazenly back at him. Love...the full moon was out and everyone was in love. Everyone was racing home to make love, or to win the heart of his or her love for future lovemaking. Passion unbridled turned the sight of youth red and cut off any sane thought.  
  
Then of course, there was Blank. He remained quite calm in such an hour, quite sane indeed. His mind was that of a wall...solid and faithful and brave and dutiful...and...and...  
  
"Goddammit!" And alone. "God...dammit!" He kicked the wall bitterly, pressing his hands into the grain until it marked his skin. The moon was supposed to be a good omen, a sign that things were all going to be alright. But he didn't see it...everything was going fine, sure, except his love life. And sometimes, just sometimes...when everything was dark and no one was around, he thought about it.  
  
Ruby...there wasn't really much to Ruby. Especially after Blank had learned during the night that she was engaged to be married. No, it wasn't to the love of her life or anything so romantic. She was engaged to some banker with a golden dick. Ruby left the practice early to go see her 'dove' as she called him. Blank left soon after in disgust.  
  
It wasn't as if there was anything between Blank and Ruby. There was no connection there. But it wasn't like he was useless...he wasn't useless. Slowly his fingers drifted down to grasp the wine bottle he had dropped at his feet. Heh...his love for the night. He took a deep swig.  
  
Behind him he heard the quick patter of feet and suppressed laughter, and he spun around, lowering his bottle for a moment, "Who's there?"  
  
"Blank? Is that you Blank?" Zidane's mirthful voice rang out as he strode into the short range of Blank's vision, both his arms strongly encircling Garnet. Blank looked down and took another deep drink.  
  
"Yep, it's me. How was the party?"  
  
"Boring as hell. Can you watch and make sure no one is coming? We've decided to act our age for once." Garnet laughed, the sound quickly muffled by Zidane's lips covering hers as he pressed her up against the stone ledge, his quick fingers feeling through her garments.  
  
"Why not?" Blank turned away, forsaking his view of the moon as he downed the rest of the bottle and sank to the ground. The dizzying influence of the drink helped a little, it helped him forget about the truth. What was the truth? Something about him being screwed...yeah...maybe, when he woke up in the morning, huddled on the castle walk with a bottle in his hand, he'd forget about what happened the night before, and live everything for the present.  
  
Everything for the present? That sounded nice...maybe he wasn't born to be a card shark, maybe he was really supposed to be something important. Like a writer...or an actor. He acted...hell he did, loved acting. Acting let him forget all of his problems, sort of like drinking...except with acting he had no hangover but his loneliness.  
  
Lonely was a stupid word. "Lonely..." He muttered, listening to the dim sounds of the lovers behind him. Garnet said something about letting her take it off first...he probably would have looked - but the...acting had made him a little tired. Blank heard an airship engine roaring somewhere in the distance. Time to sleep...and in the morning...nothing would happen. Nothing.  
  
--  
  
Why can't we not be sober?  
Just want to start this over.  
Why can't we sleep forever?  
Just want to start this over.  
Sober - Tool 


	3. Of Angels and Worse

"Rather then reveling in the happy mirages of our youth, seek the true worth of life in the growth of your mind; for the sun holds but one answer, but the mind holds them countless." Alicia adjusted her thin glasses and looked over the book at her pupil, who was busy moving her limbs as frantically as she possibly could. "Eiko!"  
  
The young girl looked up quickly, "Yes?" They were seated in the small study room Regent Cid had built into the Hilda Garde IV specifically for his daughter's studies. Alicia could understand quite well the young girl's plight. Alicia was quite a bit older, and she still felt a bit of cabin fever, trapped in the ship for more than a day. But she was a tutor, paid for her services. She wasn't paid to complain.  
  
"Can you tell me what Mister Aframs is trying to tell us here?" Alicia smiled faintly at the forlorn expression that crawled across Eiko's face. It was the same face that she was busy trying to fight back.  
  
"Why do I have to study today? It's so boring!" Eiko whined, lowering her head and pouting. Alicia sighed and stood up,  
  
"Well if you would listen to what I'm reading to you, then you might understand. Your father wants you to have a bright mind, even if that means sacrificing some of your play time."  
  
Eiko played with her bow as she shot Alicia a beautiful puppy-dog face. Alicia just rolled her eyes. Eiko would definitely be a winner with the men when she got older, but she was still young and ineffective. She was still a little tomboy wearing a baggy pair of red silk overalls and a tousled purple shirt to match her bow, nothing like the little princess Cid and Alicia both hoped someday would come out.  
  
"But...I never get to go to Alexandria! I want to go check out all the cute guys!" Nine years old...Now that was quite a bit over the edge. Alicia closed Afram's Divine Wisdom, took off her glasses and gave Eiko her most patient smile.  
  
"Checking out is something adults do, Eiko. You're nowhere near mature enough to run around doing what you want to like adults do, and until-"  
  
"Please!"  
  
"And until you-"  
  
"Please Miss Alicia!"  
  
Alicia smiled even more patiently, "And until you finish this lesson you can't prove to me how mature you are, can you?" That left Eiko quite clueless. And they called her a prodigy..."Look...if we get through this chapter and you behave, I'll take you out into town and we can...oh...do whatever you want to do."  
  
Eiko nodded rapidly, "Read, read!" Alicia sat back down, laughing in spite of herself. Every day for the last two years she had spent with Eiko, and it didn't take too long to find the girl's strengths and weaknesses, what buttons she could push. Besides being a teacher, she also played the nurse and friend as well as she could. Hilda didn't seem to be very fond of raising a daughter that wasn't really hers, so Alicia lent all the attention she could afford.  
  
The situation really had not changed. There they were in Alexandria, quite possibly the wealthiest city in the entire Mist Continent, and at least the most entertaining, and Eiko's parents were off fulfilling their own agendas. Not like Eiko had been in the ship thirty hours and wanted to get out. Of course, Alicia didn't really have an opinion on the whole matter; she just did what she was paid to do, nothing more.  
  
"Some day you will wake up from this fragile world created by your superiors, and find that there is something bigger out there." Alicia began to read once more, smiling as she saw Eiko's face scrunch up in heavy effort to interpret what was a jumble of words in her mind. She would become what was required of her one day, if Alicia had anything to do with it. "Some day you will wake up and find that you are a real human."  
  
--  
  
"Fletcher! Flet-cher, I make arrows." Kain explained patiently to the gatekeeper for the third time. The grizzled old guard just bit his lip and bent his eyebrow more suspiciously. "Arrows...for bows."  
  
"So you're not a smuggler?" The guard spat.  
  
"Smuggler? No I'm just a Fletcher from Macema. You've probably never been there but it's a small town along the Lindblum border." This of course was nothing like Kain had anticipated his journey to Alexandria would be. He had pictured a magnificent city resting on a cluster of hills, where everyone was proud and rich and...Unrealistic. It was just that he had never been to a big city before, and he had his little silly preconceived notions about them. Especially about Alexandria, Alexandria was the talk and the dream of everyone that had never been there.  
  
And now that he was there...he was there. Huge buildings, stone walls, a deaf guard who was convinced he was smuggling illegal goods. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. "Macema, eh? I've heard there's a big Udine market down there."  
  
"No, that's Tyen." Udine was the most potent and most illegal drug on the market...meaning only the rich and powerful could afford to own it and not get caught; the rest of the addicts were all in various prisons hallucinating and screaming for more.  
  
"No...? Maybe gambling then?"  
  
"Kazal." Was this guard actually looking for a reason to get him in trouble? Kain rubbed his head ruefully and looked down. He was there for one purpose; he was delivering a tribute that declared Macema a province of Alexandria, he was watching the anniversary play and drinking just a little bit, and then he was going home.  
  
"Well..." The guard drawled, eying Kain's travel satchel, a heavy thing thrown across his back. "I suppose I'll let you through." He stepped aside, clearing the path to the towering Gate of Dreams, the main entrance to Alexandria. Kain glanced over his shoulder to see a line of people and carts curling around for hundreds of feet behind him. He smiled as he moved on; some people were going to have a really long day.  
  
Once he was through the gate he began walking aimlessly. He had a few things to do, but the grandiosity of the situation overwhelmed him and he just walked. Tribute - duty - polite - travel - tired - all just another day in the life of Kain. Exciting, perhaps, compared to the rest of his life. But it didn't really matter...there was no joy in it. What was he looking for?  
  
"You need the deliverer!" Someone yelled at him. Kain turned his head to see a wizened old woman, decaying beneath a layer of white rags. She pushed a torn and dirtied paper at him and screeched, "The sins of science heap higher every day! Repent, repent and join the deliverance! Save your eternal soul!"  
  
Kain blinked, "The deliverer?"  
  
The old hag leaned closer, "He will come soon - the apocalypse is at hand! Repent!" Kain sighed and walked away, the word still ringing in his ears. 'Repent...hmm.' He looked down at the paper she had handed him. It was a picture of a man, covered from head to toe in robes, impaling an airship with a giant sword. Under the depiction there was scrawled a time and place for a meeting about the deliverance, and how to prepare. Kain grinned and tossed the paper on the ground. An apocalypse was just another problem to worry about, not a solution.  
  
He continued to walk. He walked past taverns and dark alleyways filled with dark alley people. He walked past rich inns and poor inns and travelers of every shape and size. Past merchants and businesses, docks and warehouses. Past workers and slaves and hagglers and thieves. Past homes, and their owners, some clean as the water of the great river, some as filthy as the mud at the bottom. People, people...everywhere there was life. But were they happy?  
  
Ahead he saw a young mother and her daughter walking along, talking and laughing as they pointed at people and places. They were probably travelers as well, from the awkward way they moved through the crowd. Maybe they were smiling, maybe they looked happy on the outside. But maybe they were also as cold and blind as the gatekeeper, on the inside.  
  
And maybe he just needed to stop depressing and have some real fun. Kain let out a long sigh and kept walking. It had been quite a while since he had taken time off of work for pleasure, he could at least enjoy it...and if he could just keep forcing himself to smile maybe he could believe that.  
  
--  
  
A few more minutes of study, a quick note to Eiko's parents, and Alicia rushed them out of the docks and straight into the bustling city. Alicia took in a deep breath of the city air and allowed herself a broad smile. She loved the crowd - she loved the excitement and clamor of hundreds of people she didn't know mingling into her day. It made her feel more alive.  
  
"Now where would be a good place to pick up some guys?" Eiko mumbled to herself. Alicia quickly covered her mouth and spoke curtly,  
  
"Of course there will be no flirtatious behavior on your part, young lady, or else your parents will hear about it!"  
  
"Of course." Eiko smiled sweetly up at her. "So what about you? Does that mean you're going to put on some flirtating?"  
  
Alicia blushed and looked around at the crowd, assuring herself that everyone was minding their own business, not paying any attention to the silly conversation. "Flirtating is not a word, Eiko, and of course I won't be. Your parents would never approve."  
  
"But you're an adult, right? That means you can do what you want to do. Like Aframs says." And when Alicia least expected it...Eiko was actually listening.  
  
"Well dear, I am supposed to be a role model for you - so you turn into a proper lady when you grow up. Proper ladies don't go flaunting themselves around the city."  
  
"I'll have problems then, won't I?"  
  
"Eiko!"  
  
"Just kidding...of course." Eiko smiled. "So...do they sell candy around here somewhere? I want some candy!" Alicia sighed and led them through the crowd toward the commercial stalls. It had been many years since she had been a young girl, wandering the streets of Alexandria, but she still remembering most of it. The wonderful thing about the old city was that it never changed. People were set enough in their ways to leave everything exactly how it always was for the sake of nostalgia.  
  
As they walked, Alicia noticed many eyes wandering her direction. Subtle glances, men looking back and forth, pretending to examine the fruit stands, but they were looking at her alright - she wasn't stupid. One young rogue was even cheeky enough to wink as she passed by. She just smiled as harshly as she could and kept walking, feeling as if her body was on fire.  
  
She tried to deny it, but it really was a good feeling. Power...everyone watching her, waiting for her next move, waiting for some sign of approval. She was in command on the streets - The Queen's mind controlled their bodies, but her body controlled their minds. She-  
  
"Look Teacher!" Eiko whispered loudly, "They're all looking at me!" Agh...  
  
"Ignore them, Eiko. You don't want any attention from these kinds of men, street rodents - all they want are horrible things."  
  
"Horrible things?" Eiko echoed. "But they're smiling!"  
  
"It's a long story Eiko...I'll tell you some other time." Suddenly Alicia forgot the whole point behind wandering the streets with a nine-year- old in the middle of the day.  
  
"You mean they're naughty men?"  
  
"Eiko, please!" Ah that was it...she was paid for her services. Sad. "Look, candy booths!" And there they were - hard candy, soft candy, sticky candy, sugar candy, syrup candy, everything imaginable. And all of Eiko's disturbingly immature mature thoughts disappeared as she flew into the booths with a burst of giggles.  
  
Alicia let out a long sigh and fell back against the side of a large fruit cart.  
  
"Did it hurt?" A thick voice asked quietly from behind her. She turned her head slowly,  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"When you fell out of heaven?" The man chuckled and ran his hand through his thick burgundy locks. He was a sturdy man; he looked like a fighter. He also looked drunk, his slate eyes glazed over slightly, thick eyebrows trying hard to defend them from the sun.  
  
"That's pathetic." Alicia shook her head slowly, turning away again.  
  
He laughed and took a step closer, "Well you know...it's hard to always be a man of wit."  
  
"Especially when you've been soaking in alcohol."  
  
"Ouch." He stepped in front of her to dramatically grab his side, "You got me. Shot straight through by an angel."  
  
"Don't you have something better to do...like...going away?"  
  
He smiled lopsidedly and then bowed deeply, "Alright, you win. The lowly town drunk will leave the angel alone. Any chance he could get the angel's name?"  
  
"The Angel Gabrielle will do for now." Alicia nodded her head curtly and smiled. He certainly had a lot of nerve, even for a drunk. She felt Eiko's hand pulling on her arm from behind her and she waved the girl away quickly. It wasn't right for the girl to see so many evils in the world so soon.  
  
"Ahah...it's a joke, right? A pseudonym?" Alicia widened her eyes in surprise. The man bowed once again, then winked, "I'm Blank. But you can call me...Lucifer. Good day." And with that he quickly faded away into the crowd, leaving Alicia with one pertinent question lingering in her mind. Was he really drunk?  
  
"Did you get a date, Teacher, did you?" Eiko grinned wickedly as she held her bag of candy up.  
  
"No, I didn't." Alicia answered, as coldly as she could manage.  
  
"But he was cute! You should have!"  
  
"He was a vagabond. Let's go buy your candy." If she was going to bother finding a man, she could at least be picky enough to grab a gentleman, not the lowest of the low. But it wasn't going to happen so there was no point in thinking about it. The trip was just for the candy - nothing else.  
  
--  
  
There was no set time at which Kain decided to stop wandering through the streets. But eventually he heard the long peal of a bell striking the hour, and he stopped. His feet had led him to a part of town that was not infested with people. A river slowly ran before him, and small boats were tied along the shore for crossing. And across the water was the illustrious Alexandria Castle, rearing its noble head over the whole of the kingdom, ruling with its blade of steel. If there was a god in Alexandria, it was the great tower.  
  
A soft voice from above cut off his musings, and he looked around to find its owner. In the castle, in one of the high towers, sitting by a window, was a woman. Not just any woman, but the most beautiful woman Kain had ever seen. She was just sitting there in a silver sequin dress, staring out across the water at the city, her eyes clouded with deep thoughts he couldn't read.  
  
Her eyes...deep...sad...Sara...! He wrenched his head away and looked instead at the rippling water, at the jaded reflection of the great building dancing in its waves. Stupid man! Looking away didn't make her disappear.  
  
He didn't move for a few moments, but finally his curiosity got the best of him and he glanced up quickly. She was staring at him. Damn! He looked down again hurriedly, his face flushing deeply. He heard her call out something, but the distance was too great, and he couldn't hear what she was saying...so he just stood there and looked at the water.  
  
Staring into the waves, he could almost see her reflection, a tiny dot in the black, but enough. He stared at it...was she looking at him? What did she think? She probably thought he was stupid...she probably thought...  
  
What the hell was he doing? Adrenaline and testosterone had taken reason out of the picture. He was a man - middle-aged at that, not a child. He could look a woman in the eyes without fear - what could she do to him, after all?  
  
Slowly his eyes traveled back upwards, and his heart skipped a beat as he found that she was still looking at him. As their eyes met, she smiled and waved gently. She was...young. Young and beautiful. An Angel sent straight from heaven and confined in a dungeon. Maybe she needed to be rescued! Maybe he was her knight in shining armor to come save her and run away with her into the sunset! Maybe...  
  
He offered a weak wave in reply...turned, and walked away as quickly as he could. Time to find an inn and put his things away...then go find the queen and see a play. No point in wasting his time...no point in wasting time...he had already wasted enough.  
  
--  
  
The light cried out as darkness pressed against it, pulsating from the shadow of night in hopes of ending the day and silencing the roaring brightness. Just trying to add some finish, some finality to the day...the world... Existence. What a petty crime, to be alive. That was the only prerequisite needed for oppression...just enough life to get enjoyment out of smothering it.  
  
'Heh...and it would be so easy to smother too. Just look at this festering pit of life, overdue for squeezing away. Nothing hard...as easy as breathing.'  
  
He breathed, and kept walking forward, toward the great Gate of Dreams, his eyes flickering here and there as he considered all the beings wandering here and there, busy with busywork. It was very nostalgic, walking into the place that used to be his home, filled with many people he used to know...so many memories, he could almost taste them in the air.  
  
'Breathe in...it's not that hard.'  
  
"Enough." He adjusted his black cloak around him and walked the ramp up to the city, stopping when the guard approached him.  
  
The guard was a lazy beast; stupid and so fat he barely fit his armor. He yawned as he waved at the traveler's robes, "Got any weapons underneath that getup?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"What, don't you trust me?" The Traveler smiled, "I'm just an innocent tourist coming to see a play."  
  
The guard nodded and took out his ledger huffily, "What is your name and origin, please?"  
  
"I'm from the west. Call me...Arteon."  
  
--  
  
Have you ever felt so out of place,  
That the smile on your face,  
Was to keep from crying?  
Don't know why we get so out of touch,  
But I don't want much,  
Just to find out  
What Happiness is.  
Happiness - Verve Pipe 


	4. Ye that Fear Fate

"Zidane!" Zidane turned his head to look for the owner of the meek voice. He already knew who it belonged to, Mikoto. His little sister ran up to him and wrapped him inside a tight embrace. Sister...only in the sense that they were two of the only genomes left alive, and that created a kinship. Much like he and Kuja were...brothers.  
  
"Mikoto! How have you been?"  
  
"Wonderful, thank you. How about you?" She smiled happily and relinquished her grasp. Mikoto had been busy discovering life for the past few years, so Zidane saw her very rarely. She had been so busy in fact, with her travels, that Zidane had barely been able to locate her to invite her to the play. The play! Zidane took a quick look around; the crowd was beginning to gather around the closed theatre...not much longer until the doors opened.  
  
"Mikoto, I really have to go, I'm sorry. If I don't hurry Baku's going to come out and kick me around town for being negligent. See I missed the practice and err...sort of a long story, but I have to get going."  
  
"So you've been busy too, then?" Mikoto held on to him for another moment and looked him over. Zidane nodded rapidly, wriggling away from her grasp.  
  
"I have, yes!"  
  
"Well we'll have to get together for a dinner, then. While we're both not busy, I mean."  
  
"Sure, sure. Maybe tomorrow?"  
  
"Okay!" She let go and smiled sweetly once again, "Good luck with the play!" Zidane barely heard her as he sped away, around the building to the staff entrance in the back. A quick shudder ran through his body - Mikoto was a cute girl and all...but her forwardness and...heavy affection scared him just a little bit. It was hard to understand what she felt or was trying to do - maybe she was just a little bit naïve, just arrived on the real world and all. That was probably it-  
  
"Zidane!" That voice was much more comforting to his ears. He turned to see Garnet standing in the alley across the street, flanked by two of her bodyguards.  
  
"Love!" Zidane hurried to her side with a broad smile. "Hiding in the shadows I see."  
  
"It's easier to enter the theatre without being accosted by every citizen who wants to suck up to me." Garnet glanced at the crowd calmly, "So I'm hiding in the shadows. Walk with me."  
  
It always amazed Zidane how commanding Garnet had become in a matter of years. One minute he was protecting a young, scared girl, and then the next thing he knew he was taking orders from a strong, very self-assured woman. He loved it. "An eventful day?"  
  
"Of course. A lot of cities are taking this opportunity to send me any extra business they've postponed in their laziness. I've never seen so many rich lords pretending to be poor." She grabbed one of his hands and began to swing as they walked, "So..." She laughed quietly, and turned to meet his eyes. "What did our dear little Mikoto have to say?"  
  
Agh...of course she was watching them from the alley...nothing better than a suspicious wife. "Nothing really." He smiled back at her. "She's just busy with her life in Tyen. Trying to start a chocobo farm, it seems." Of course Zidane had nothing to hide - he hadn't done anything, he had no unnatural attachments to Mikoto. He loved Garnet - that was the long and short of it...nothing could change his passion. Unconsciously he gripped her hand tighter.  
  
"That's good. I just haven't talked to her in a long time - maybe I can see her while she's in town."  
  
"That'd be wonderful." Zidane stooped to kiss Garnet fondly on the forehead. "Well, I'd better run. Until tonight!"  
  
Garnet returned the kiss quickly, "Alright. Good luck with the play!"  
  
--  
  
"You can call me Lucifer...heh." Blank chuckled as he wound his way merrily through the crowds, emptying one last bottle before the show. "That's a good one, Blank, you'll have to remember that one. Except only on the smart ones...the dumb broads wouldn't know an angel by name if he came down and said it to 'em." A shriveled old woman glared up at him and he shook his head, "Err, no not you. The other dumb broad over there."  
  
She started warbling at him but he just proceeded, not giving her too much thought. From the little he had read about astrology and religion, angels were somewhere up in the stars with all the gods and their palaces and things. Senethy, the smart guy that wrote the book said that the gods of the polytheistic cults such as Madain Sari were actually just powerful spirits bound to the will of the planet...that was sort of what Blank imagined angels to be. Of course Senethy was an atheist, but that didn't really matter.  
  
And speaking of angels...Blank thought back to the girl that he had met...earlier, he didn't really remember when, due to the influence. Damn she was fine...made him feel sort of low and base compared to her - like a challenge he had to rise up to and grab. Blank grinned. Sounded like a lot of fun.  
  
And speaking of demons - Blank caught sight of Ruby out of the corner of his eye. Caught sight of Ruby with her arms partially wrapped around an enormous man with an enormous grin on his face, his hands barely returning the favor through all the gold that enamored them.  
  
That fat fuck! Jealousy swept over Blank once again in a hot, angry cloud. There was no reason for it, no reason at all that Blank should be attached to Ruby, but he was, and he couldn't help it. He had always imagined that their relationship was some sort of waiting game, and when he finally came out with the right combination on the die, she would give up and finally love him, and everything would be right. But no, that wasn't it at all. That wasn't even close. She wasn't waiting for him; she was just waiting for a man rich and swarthy enough to wrap an illusion of happiness around her so thick with gold dust that she'd never look up again. That was what she wanted!  
  
The world looked miserable once again. He didn't understand how someone could be so stupid...so blatantly wrong and wicked in the midst of their smiles and sweetness. Fake...so fake. He growled and seethed and burned his way through the crowd toward the staff entrance, noting bitterly that Ruby was coming the same way. He had to keep it cool...Blank took in a long breath of city air and exhaled animosity. They might be screwed up and disgusting, but he was still a decent human being who could keep his emotions in check quite well.  
  
"Nervous, Blank?" Ruby strolled up beside him, pattered her face and hair quickly, and then smiled sweetly.  
  
Blank took a deep breath. "Yeah." The animosity leaked back in with the air. "So, is that fat bastard the one you're getting tied to? So what's his specialty? Hmm? Does he have a golden dick? Oh wait...I bet he just knows how to make you laugh. That's so sweet."  
  
The crowd fell away behind them as Ruby's smile fell from her face. They walked in silence for a few moments...the door loomed closer and closer, and then Ruby's hand met Blank's face with all the force she could muster. Pain never felt so good.  
  
"I can't believe you said that! How dare you attack Charles like that, what do you care anyway? Blank, there has never been anything between us! Never! Just let it go!"  
  
"Let it go?" Blank paused and tried to look into Ruby's eyes, tears of anger welling in his own. He pushed them back, he at least had control enough over himself to not cry in front of a woman - he could be steel if he needed to be. "Look...I spent my whole life near you, okay? My whole life...too shy and too stupid to do or say anything...And now I do, and now you're gone - it's over. Game over...I could have at least...I dunno...said something. It's stupid - I'm stupid, I know...but that's how I feel. I'm sorry."  
  
"Blank..." Ruby looked slowly up at him. "Look, this is very sudden and sweet and everything...But I knew, alright? I knew you had a crush on me, I knew where you stood from your actions. You're...you just aren't my type - it never would have worked. It never could have. I hope you can just give it up and go your way without making a big deal out of this."  
  
"Yeah." Steel...he was steel - no surprise, no tears. He was a man. "Yeah, sure, it's fine. Hope...everything goes well for you." Ruby nodded and patted his back softly with a smile. A fake smile at that. He looked up to move on, just go and do and get it over with - and found Zidane and Garnet were standing by the door watching the conversation, surprised expressions on their faces. Could a day take much worse of a turn? "Damn it all..." He growled, lunged through the door, and closed it behind him.  
  
--  
  
Colors swirled on the paper called time, pulling and threading the dimensions then disbanding them in a mere matter of seconds. It was a phenomenon known as teleportation, something only the most advanced of mages could dream of chanting. Not that it was too complex - it was just insane and required quite a bit of luck and foolishness to use. One had to have a very good knowledge of the place they were going, and an even better knowledge of the place they were leaving if they ever hoped to get back.  
  
Vivi cautiously stepped through the gate and looked around timidly, making sure he hadn't ripped anyone in half with the split. Dabbling in the time dimension was very dangerous, he had once been told. Of course he didn't really understand most of the magic he used, the how and why of it that was, so he tried not to think much of the extra implications of touching a fourth dimension. He just closed his eyes and said the words as clearly as he could.  
  
The safety of the project thus assured, Vivi stepped back through the portal, disappearing for a few moments, to return carrying two bundles of black and blue. They were his two sons, Wili and Bili. His wife, Lili, followed close behind, her beautiful golden eyes darting around cautiously as she took in the location. It had been some time since he had taken the family to Alexandria, and the boys were just brimming with excitement. Of course the place he had teleported them wasn't too exciting - it was a narrow alleyway curled around a crumbling church, but it was still Alexandria, he could feel the city air clinging to his face and hands.  
  
"Okay, follow me closely boys. We don't want to be late for the play!" Vivi set them on the ground carefully then started off toward the theatre, keeping a close eye on his sons as they tottered along. They had grown extremely fast in their one-year of life, almost too big for him to carry now. Of course he had been the same way. He wasn't sure quite how long he had been alive, but it couldn't have been too long, and he was already almost as big as a human adolescent - just a little taller than Lili.  
  
Lili...he looked back to his wife and smiled, a gesture that she returned (although the motion was much different in black mages than humans, more an adjustment of the eyes than anything else). "Everything is so big and crowded!" Lili squealed as a man pushing a cart of goods moved by.  
  
Lili had been born in the Black Mage Village not long before Vivi had visited, after the War of Worlds had ended, and he had instantly fallen for her coy nature. It had taken him over a year to ask the question, but since then he had never been happier. They had moved to Dali before either child was born, but the quaint town was nothing compared to the overpowering vastness of Alexandria.  
  
"Now you all be careful, stay close to me. This is a big town, and there are a lot of strange people here." He couldn't forget his first trip to Alexandria. Of course...the fact that his encounters there had gotten him tangled up in a war wasn't necessarily a bad thing - but if he could help it that wasn't something his children had to go through. If he could help it they would never even have to use their black magic.  
  
Vivi turned the corner, and took a step back, confronted with the sight of rows and rows of people lined up in front of Ruby's theatre, now quite an accomplishment in size. The Alexandrian people were very proud of the wealth of the town, and so the play was definitely not underdone. Fireworks were being shot off in no particular order, numerous bands played from various locations, and everyone carried a general feeling of rowdy excitement - not to mention loudly colored clothing. Vivi quickly took a place in one of the lines into the theatre, pulling his family in close behind him. "Get ready to see the best play ever!" Vivi smiled. "I know you're gonna love it."  
  
--  
  
The inside of the theatre was dark, humid and crowded. Music roared from every direction, light flashed around the room, people ran around the room in a quest to find the best seat...Utter havoc. Kain glanced around the room, sighed, and began searching for the nearest empty seat. It hadn't been the most productive day he had ever spent. It took him almost the whole afternoon to finally find out that he needed an official appointment to visit the queen...just to give her the present and go back home. So he set up an official appointment, which was set for the middle of tomorrow...which meant he wouldn't be able to leave for two more days.  
  
He couldn't really put his finger on why this upset him so much...why he really wanted to go back to cramped, stuffy little Macema and make more arrows for people who didn't use them. Why he wanted to abandon a thriving, living city and replace it with something almost dead where no one really knew him and no one wanted to.  
  
Something about the people...something about the danger. Kain watched two men shrouded in black robes shuffle past him, then he slid into a seat with a sigh. And so he would go back to Macema after his business was finished - that would end his 'exciting adventure', back to real life.  
  
"How is Sara doing?" Kain's head jerked up and spun around. Who said it? All around him were blank faces, blank expressions...was it someone else having a conversation, a coincidence? Of course it was...no one there knew him, he was just too jumpy.  
  
"You two must be so happy now." Kain gritted his teeth and shut his eyes. Stop it, dammit! Stop it!  
  
--  
  
"Alright kids!" Baku roared at his players backstage. "This is it! It's been a while, I'm sure you're all a little rough around the edges...but I'm also sure that we're Tantalus! And Tantalus can do anything! Knock yerselves out!"  
  
The Tantalus salute went silently around the circle, then the group broke up and moved to their beginning points. Zidane took a quick look around; noting quickly that Blank was by himself. With a strain of pity, Zidane walked over to join him. He and Blank had pretty much always been friends, or at least companions, ever since they had met as kids on the streets of Lindblum. They were close; they had traded favors and lifesavers numerous times. And they could always talk.  
  
"Blank!" Zidane called, putting on an empathizing face to meet his friend. Blank turned slowly, wearing the faded grin he always wore when he was about to cry. "Blank...I'm really sorry about...you know."  
  
"It's fine." Blank shook his head and punched Zidane lightly on the shoulder, "Of course it would be better if you hadn't been watching the whole damn thing."  
  
"Sometimes it's just meant to happen." Zidane shrugged, "Look...I want to help. Just stop thinking about Ruby, get out there and find someone else just as...whatever Ruby is. It can't be that hard."  
  
"Sure." Blank looked down, tugging at his pockets, "No problem."  
  
"Everything will work out." Zidane squeezed Blank's shoulder, wishing he could think of something more encouraging to say. Unfortunately, he wasn't the greatest authority on words...it wasn't too hard to always stay cheerful himself, but helping others...He shrugged and reached into his pocket, "Ready to flip?"  
  
"Heads." Blank grunted as the coin came out of Zidane's pocket. Zidane nodded and gave the coin a quick flick. The coin flip was a tradition that decided who would win the mock sword fight. Of course it didn't really matter to anyone else but Zidane and Blank...but that was irrelevant.  
  
Blank caught it and opened his fist, raising his eyebrow slightly in surprise. "Heads. Guess I'm not completely out of luck."  
  
Zidane nodded, "Maybe your luck is just about to change." Blank grinned, then vaulted over the steps to the darkened area below. Zidane moved to follow him.  
  
"Zidane...do you believe in God?" Hmm? Zidane looked around.  
  
"Someone call me?" There was no one around. Odd... Did he believe...? Didn't matter. There was a play to perform.  
  
--  
  
Garnet sat alone in the high balcony created for the rich guests. The seats were divided into separate boxes of fours...Garnet's one was out on the stage, playing main role in front of the whole town. She would have to tell him what a great job he did later...he would probably appreciate that.  
  
Garnet smiled secretively then looked around, as if the shadows could read her mind. Lately she had become restless...impatient with her daily life, always waiting for the night. Of course she should probably feel guilty or something about that, but she definitely didn't. Three years of being queen was boring, she needed to find something new.  
  
Garnet watched as Zidane picked up his stage sword, spun it a few times, then looked up to her balcony. He saluted then threw a grand kiss up toward her. She caught it with a smile. That was one piece of her life that she had no intention of leaving behind. Zidane was the best thing that had ever happened to her...She sighed and clasped her hands together. There was no reason for her to complain - she really did have a nearly perfect life.  
  
The door behind her slid open and closed quietly. She turned to try to make out the dark figure behind her, but the form was lost in the shadows. "Who's there?"  
  
There was a long, drawn-out silence that stuck Garnet's heart in her throat. She was brave...she was a warrior - nothing could go wrong. "I said...w-who's th-"  
  
"Mera. My dear Mera..." The voice was fragile, quavering like glass in fire...like a feather on the breeze...like her heart through the window.  
  
"Kuja?"  
  
--  
  
With a final burst of music, light fled the room and the play began. Despite the sudden quiet that fell over the room, there was a thundering of emotions, loud, pleading sonatas of the heart. Shade could hear them. The show had definitely begun.  
  
"I would imagine this will be quite a wonderful performance, don't you think?" Shade looked over to his companion, who smiled up at him faintly.  
  
"Yes...do you think everything will go well?"  
  
"I would imagine that everything will go...quite perfectly." He was in charge, how could it not go perfectly? After all, he was about the closest to perfect anyone could ever dream to get. Did that sound too proud? Shade chuckled and stared into the darkness, waiting for the life to begin. "In fact, I believe a show like this will never be seen again."  
  
--  
  
Roll them high,  
Throw them again,  
All Gods' Dice.  
Monkey driven, call this living,  
Too much thought, it's overwrought,  
Minding yours what's mine not yours,  
Will finish us all off.  
Designate a life.  
Designate a view.  
Designate my will.  
Resignate my god.  
Gods' Dice - Pearl Jam 


	5. Queen of Hearts

"You didn't forget, did you Mera? I know I couldn't forget - all those wretched nights...all I could think about was you." Garnet trembled as she looked up at Kuja, his features rugged and hardened, pushed into normalcy from whatever harsh conditions he had faced. His short-cropped hair had returned to its original burning copper color, the rest of him was swathed in black, like some messenger of death. She couldn't decide whether she wanted to hold on to him or run away screaming.  
  
"Kuja..." His hand slid down to touch her cheek gently, caressing her weeping skin. "Kuja...I...things have changed. Look at me."  
  
"I see you." His beautiful eyes stared straight into hers, "I see that you are more gorgeous than ever. My flower has blossomed."  
  
"I am married to Zidane, Kuja!" Painfully her mind stretched back to the confused, erotic nights she had spent alone with Kuja, years and years ago...she was still a child then. Surely that wasn't real. Surely that couldn't be coming back now, now that everything was perfect! "Married, Kuja. I have commitments, a full life...my heart isn't up for sale any-"  
  
Kuja stopped her by kneeling down and taking her lips in his. For a moment the world stopped - even the play seemed to pause outside, waiting with closed eyes for the stolen moment to pass. His tongue stroked hers, passionate and gentle, sending a chill of fire burning down Garnet's spine. A lifetime passed before he released his strong hold and looked down at her, and still she wanted more. Her eyes melted into his. "You remember."  
  
She remembered. What was happening - where were her precious inhibitions and hours of formalities that usually surrounded her? Now she needed them so badly - she needed protection...Zidane. Garnet threw herself into Kuja's arms.  
  
"The night is over, Mera." Kuja murmured softly into her ear. "I'm done and I'm here...I'm not going to leave this time - we can finally be together."  
  
Zidane! "I was just a girl, Kuja." She pleaded unenthusiastically. "Not old enough to know yet...please understand."  
  
"But I need you." The words were coated with sweet venom. Everything that she had known about Kuja was coming back in a landslide, everything she had tried to force from her memory. She wasn't supposed to know him as more than just a bad man who disappeared after a while...Zidane's nemesis and yet Zidane's brother. But either way, connected to Zidane, not her. There was no historic record of the kiss she had shared with Kuja in his Underground Palace - only of his death under the Iafa Tree. There was no historic record of his heart-rending eyes...just his ferocity in battle.  
  
"Why are you alive?" She whispered. Kuja smiled sadly down at her and kissed her forehead.  
  
"I willed it to be. Zidane was too kind to finish me off...so I never left. All he managed to kill off was my ambition...my hate, pride, dreams. And then all that was left was you. You kept me alive."  
  
Garnet shivered. It had to be some sort of dream - things like this didn't really happen, it was too complicated! She wasn't sure if the dream was a fantasy or a nightmare...but it couldn't be real! It just couldn't be. Her poor little heart expanded and burst. "Kuja?"  
  
"Mera?" His kind voice echoed down at her as he towered over her seat...a dark knight to ruin her life.  
  
"Kiss me again."  
  
--  
  
The play ended with the climbing roar of a standing ovation. The audience expressed their appreciation for a good five minutes, while the actors continued to bow and nod and gesture and smile. Blank turned with a grin to at Zidane - but saw his friend was occupied with staring blankly up at the Queen's box.  
  
"Zid!" The genome turned slowly, "You up for an after-play celebration, bro? A few drinks for all the hard work?"  
  
Zidane shook his head slowly, "No...thanks, Blank. I think I'm going to go find Garnet and go home. I'm not feeling too good."  
  
Blank nodded slowly, Zidane really didn't look too good, but then again he hadn't been himself for a long time. Something about he would stare into space and start listening to things that weren't there. Maybe he was evolving...heh, that was probably it. Zidane faded away into the crowd, and Blank turned around to look for another source of entertainment for the night.  
  
And he found it with trusty old Marcus standing on the edge of the stage, his eyes probably wandering among the finer elements congregated in the throng. Good old Marcus was always up for a drink and a swing...and so Blank approached with a sturdy grin plastered on his face. "Marcus!"  
  
The solid Captain of the Guards turned around slowly, then returned a hearty grin when he saw Blank. "What a show, huh? Good play!" Marcus was always so humble. He had played the lead actor in the Canary play since Tantalus started practicing it - and still he always had compliments for everyone else.  
  
"Yeah, same to you Marc!" Blank patted the big man on the back, then rushed into his plan for drinks and women all night. Marcus just shrugged and grinned.  
  
"Same old you, huh? I'm glad you're back, Blank."  
  
"Of course you are. Good to be back." Blank winked.  
  
"I'm all up for it, of course - but first I've gotta go talk to Cid about something. I had him looking into trance stuff for me, and he wanted to give me something while he's here."  
  
"Sure, sure. Trance stuff - that's fine, take your time." Why did Marcus have to try to play the scholar every other chance he could get. He was a big, strong warrior - why did he need to know everything?  
  
"There's Cid over there - come on, come with me." Marcus flung his arm around Blank's shoulder, hopped off the stage, and gouged his way through the crowd. His aim was the large circle that had been cleared out for the huge baldhead in the middle of the crowd. The illustrious Regent Cid and his family, there probably wasn't a single person in all of Alexandria that wouldn't want to pick the old man's brain.  
  
Standing close by was old Cid's wife, Hilda. The old wench just got skinnier and crabbier by the day, but somehow she was put up with. Perhaps a lot of medicine. And standing close by her was Eiko, the dainty little adopted princess with a horn protruding from her purple locks. Dealing with her before Cid decided to adopt her was tedious enough - now she was confident that everyone was really some sort of secret suitor. And there could never be too many for Eiko.  
  
And standing nearby Eiko was... "Hot damn."  
  
--  
  
"Oh gods have mercy." Alicia muttered as quietly as she could restrain herself to.  
  
"What's wrong, Alicia?" Eiko tugged urgently at her sleeve - a mothering expression crawling onto her young features. "Are you alright?"  
  
"That brigand from this morning has caught up with me..." Alicia of course was surprised that the drunk had turned out to be one of the royal family's friends, a loyal trusted subject, and everything like that. But that really did not change the fact that he was a drunk, it didn't change anything at all. Her scowl stiffened as Blank approached and offered a graceful bow.  
  
"Well hello there, angel. Fate's treating me pretty well today."  
  
"Then I would assume the headache is gone?" Alicia quipped bitterly. Blank's smile stayed as strong as ever.  
  
"Of course - and you're still just as beautiful." Still throwing out cheesy lines...what a winner.  
  
"Hello, Blank!" Eiko stepped forward and waved eagerly.  
  
Blank turned his gaze, "Well, well, Miss Eiko - you look delicious! How are you, doll?" Alicia noticed Eiko blush and answer happily, which just made the whole situation even more revolting.  
  
"I'm not too comfortable with a vagrant like you addressing such a good young girl like Eiko in such a manner." Good little girl was stretching it - but she did have her loyalties. "If you have to flirt with something, find an object that won't take offense - preferably inanimate."  
  
"Ow...how cold." Blank winked boyishly at Alicia, then nodded over at Marcus and Cid, who were chattering away about something Alicia hadn't really been paying attention to. "I'm just with him - our meeting here is pure coincidence...perhaps. So you're Eiko's guardian or something like that? How lucky for me!"  
  
"Her tutor."  
  
"The angel of luck must be on my side."  
  
"I can't-"  
  
"Speaking of luck!" Blank struck a ridiculous pose, pulling his bandana over his eyes. It made Eiko giggle, but sure didn't boost Alicia's opinion of him. "How did you enjoy the play tonight."  
  
"I thought you all were great!" Eiko burst in quickly, "You're always my favorite, Mister Blank."  
  
"Surprisingly good, Blank, I have to compliment you on one thing - you are a very good actor."  
  
"Doesn't sound like you're trying to compliment me, miss...umm...ah yes, Gabrielle."  
  
Alicia shrugged with a brief smile of victory - at least he still didn't know her name. That was something. Before the banter could continue, Cid turned his wrinkled features to break into the conversation.  
  
"Blank, listen here, because this does apply to you as well. I did a little research on why certain people can experience trance frequently, like Zidane, and some people can't. I've figured out that for a most part it's purely psychological. Some people try to achieve different goals when fighting..."  
  
"And what - I don't have any goals when I fight?" Blank shrugged and looked up at the dark ceiling thoughtfully, "I don't know - I seem to remember having goals at some point along the way."  
  
"But for some reason it only triggers the right reaction with some people - perhaps it's just the pure will of fighting. Or maybe something happened in your childhood that doesn't allow you to commit so much into battle - I don't fully understand the natural reasons behind trance. However I have been experimenting and I believe I may be able to find a way to give you an artificial trance."  
  
"Force it on me?" Blank looked worried. Alicia watched his face carefully. She didn't understand exactly what was going on - she only knew a very little bit about trance from listening to Cid and reading various fantasies. It could be dangerous or even entertaining; she really had no idea. But from Blank's expression it looked like forcing it on him wasn't exactly what he wanted.  
  
Cid adjusted his glasses and coughed nervously, "Yes, well, it's still in the making, but with a little more research I think an artificially induced trance is not so far off as we think. If you and Marcus are interested then I can keep you posted."  
  
"I...guess I'm interested." Marcus scratched his head thoughtfully, "It sure would be a lot easier to fulfill my duties if I was as powerful as Zidane."  
  
Blank shook his head slowly, "No. Leave me out of it...but thanks. Are we ready to go Marcus?" Alicia found herself staring straight at Blank again, and looked away with a hint of a blush. It was just...simply undeniable that he was a very interesting character.  
  
"I guess I'm ready." Marcus nodded, then shook Cid's hand heartily. Blank ignored his goodbyes with Cid, turning instead to Alicia and Eiko. Well...to Alicia.  
  
"Goodnight, beautiful ladies. I hope I am rewarded with your presence sometime soon, eh? Eh?"  
  
Alicia bit back a smile, "Don't be too hopeful."  
  
"I will be." He touched his lips to his fingertips and blew a kiss over to her. "Maybe that's the devil in me speaking...? Until then."  
  
And so he left, leaving the night much quieter...much darker without him.  
  
--  
  
The sounds of rain trickled through his senses, in his pores and through every tiny nerve in his body. But the feeling wasn't right - it wasn't real. Something nostalgic, as if he was supposed to remember something. Maybe that was why he refused the night on the town with Blank and chose instead to find his wife - something about memories. Something about rain...  
  
Did he believe in god? What god would that be referring to? The gods of Madain Sari, endless in names, diversity and power? There were countless named and nameless cults throughout the nations, all proclaiming to have found the right way and truth. The newest fanatics group was Noxism, the Followers of the Deliverer. Their numbers infested the streets, pulling more believers every day with their cry that the end was coming, but a savior would be there to deliver them.  
  
But it was all so encrypted and punched with holes. Was he supposed to believe in this Savior? Was he supposed to believe in some other god? Why was he thinking about it in the first place? The voice in his head. Yes...it was because he hadn't heard a voice in his head since Necron spoke to him three years before, and then Garland before him. Because to Zidane, voices in his head meant only one thing. Trouble.  
  
Was it some sort of riddle or clue? A way to find his next step...was he supposed to take a step at all? No! Zidane wove angrily through the crowd, dodging the admirers and girls he had met before. No he was supposed to be happy and settled down - content to live out his life in Alexandria with Garnet for the rest of his life. There didn't have to be any more trouble or adventures...What was it that reminded him of rain?  
  
He had to find Garnet.  
  
"Zidane!" Zidane strained to find the voice that was calling to him - his vision finally settling on a awkwardly built black mage stumbling through the crowd toward him. The sight was something worth smiling for.  
  
"Vivi!" The beady yellow eyes of the black mage stared up at him, excitement pulsating from them. Following closely behind the first mage came three more; a large one and two smaller ones huddled up beside...it. "Is this your family again? I haven't seen them for a while."  
  
"Yes, they've grown haven't they?" The thought of that made the little mage beam with pleasure - which was hard to see on a black mage, but it was definitely there. Vivi had always wanted children for some strange, unknown reason. Zidane, on the other hand, had a very low tolerance for anything without some sort of form, or at least something mildly interesting to say. What was the use of a little person that just made messes and cried all of the time - and how could one possibly love it? That was definitely beyond him.  
  
"Sure have. I didn't know you came to see the play, Vivi - I'm glad you could make it."  
  
"Me too...although..." Vivi lowered his voice, "Quina found me halfway through the performance and kept trying to convince Lili that I had married her first." That made Zidane laugh out loud...which made Vivi wrinkle up in confusion, "Shh...That's something I'd like to never bring up again...umm...if you know what I mean."  
  
"I most certainly do." Zidane grinned...strange - he had kept his wife from that event. Ah yes...his wife. "Vivi, you'll have to excuse me - I've got to go find Garnet. Are you staying in town for a while? Maybe we can get together tomorrow."  
  
"Yes, maybe...but Zidane, before you go."  
  
"Yeah?" Zidane avoided the glance of a pretty young girl eying him from the edge of the crowd. Pity... "What is it?"  
  
"Umm...maybe I'm just unduly worried or something - but in the middle of the play, I thought for sure I felt someone casting a spell nearby." Zidane froze. "It could be alright - but you know...magic is a dangerous thing and all..."  
  
The rain washed up and over Zidane's head. What...was...it...? "It's probably nothing, Vivi, don't worry too much about it. We've got good security around here - I'm sure the guards can handle anything that comes up."  
  
"Yup..." Vivi smiled, "I'm not worried. Well, I'm gonna go show my family around - have a good night with Garnet!"  
  
"Yeah, thanks..." For some reason, he very much doubted that.  
  
--  
  
Blank left the theatre house whistling happily - in the best of spirits. In only took Marcus a few moments to jump on it.  
  
"You're pretty happy compared to your...most recent moods. What's going on?"  
  
"That is sort of weird, isn't it Marcus? Well...damn, I mean - just earlier I completely gave up Ruby - she shoved me into the dirt and all...and I really don't care. I don't know what the hell is the matter with me, I really don't. I'm just too happy!" Blank spouted out a random babble of words and then laughed heartily to his heart's content.  
  
Marcus laughed as well - a little more slyly. "Ahh, yes, and I have absolutely no clue why that could be. Maybe the shark has his eye set on a prey...hmm?"  
  
"Maybe the shark absolutely doesn't deserve that title...being single and all." Blank grinned wolfishly and ducked from the street to the alley, dodging boxes as he broke into an improvised dance.  
  
"So she really likes you, huh?"  
  
"Eiko? Well...yeah I'm like her big brother or something - she's pretty cute, huh? But I don't have any weird problems with that like...you might have."  
  
"Damn you." Marcus grinned, "I meant the other girl...she was a little bit older if I recall..."  
  
"Ahah! My Angel Gabrielle you mean?" The smile faded from Blank's face as he sighed deeply. "I don't know...I really don't know if anything will come of it - I wish. But...hell, it's really fun! Can't beat that, huh? Come on, Marcus! I've got enough foolishness in me to buy the whole tavern tonight! Follow me!"  
  
"Right." Marcus grinned as he kept up a steady pace behind the euphoric man ahead. "Blank...I really do hope everything goes as we-"  
  
"Shh!" Blank turned around to raise his finger, "Silence! If you breathe too loud, my fair angel is gone."  
  
"Too romantic for your own good." Marcus grumbled. "Hey Blank...why did you tell Cid you don't want to use the trance? I thought it would be pretty useful - for you too."  
  
"Pride, Marcus. Pride." Blank shrugged and smiled lazily, "I don't want to use something if I didn't earn it's use...maybe I'm not supposed to use trance for some reason. I could be messing up the natural order of things." The words faded into a silent showdown for a few moments, and then they both grinned and clapped arms. "Come on," Blank punched Marcus' arm lightly, "Friend. The beer is waiting for us."  
  
--  
  
Garnet glanced around with a heartrending sigh; the trance that had fallen lifted as the applause fell. And she found herself lying in the arms of a complete stranger, the enemy of the people. She didn't even know how he was alive, and yet she threw her very body at him...what a pathetic result from a queen. Slowly she raised from her vulnerable position and tried to regain composure.  
  
"You know...Kuja, that we cannot see each other." The small theatre box seemed even darker and more cramped now that everything was quiet. "My life is set in stone - it has no room for you."  
  
Kuja adjusted his black cape once again around his shoulders, looking down at her with a carefree smile, "But I love you - it can never be over."  
  
That sounded so childish now...but she had believed it once. Gently she touched his chin, returning the smile sadly, "Kuja, yours is not love. It is a sick obsession that started when you first saw me - when we were both still children. I hope you are mature enough now to see it as that...I have."  
  
"No!" Kuja growled, pulling away from her with a grunt of rage, "I know what I am in control of...you are the most beautiful creature to ever grace this foul earth...I know that. Everything should have a second chance - now I know that. You cannot give up on us now...before it is too late."  
  
The fight in her heart was weak - but she still did have her dignity, and a small ounce of truth inside her that stood rigid. "You always cheated through life, Kuja. Zidane had to earn me, had to earn his life - like everyone else. I love Zidane...alright? Do you understand? If you want a second chance then maybe you can try winning me over - instead of locking me in a cage with no hope and no alternative..." Her form shuddered as bittersweet memories flooded her mind, but the queen took over frantically, "It will never happen again - I promise you. Now leave."  
  
"Please...Mera." The smile turned into despair quite quickly - and for a moment Garnet almost felt sorry for him. Mera...the name only he knew - a world only he was living in. He needed help. "Please!" He yelled, grabbing his temple with one strong hand, "He will come back sometime - I cannot win forever...you must help me."  
  
"I will not be your sex doll, Kuja." Her confidence grew as he weakened, and Garnet stood with a surge of regal authority, "Now please leave on good terms - perhaps you can reappear when you become a man."  
  
Kuja turned to exit the room, then spat bitterly on the edge, "It's Arteon." He turned just enough for Garnet to see his eyes glimmering in the darkness, "Never call me Kuja again." Then, smooth as silk, he opened the door and disappeared into the dimly light hall outside. Garnet stared after him for a moment, touching her clothing absently to make sure she was presentable. The words rang confusingly in her head. What the hell was that supposed to mean?  
  
--  
  
"Zidane!" Another voice assaulted him as he mounted the steps to the boxes. Wonderful - first time he had an agenda and now they were all after him. It was about time to just resign the whole idea of seeing his wife - silly notion that it was...  
  
"Zidane!" The voice called again and so he turned with a sigh to see who it was - instantly greeted with the eager face of Mikoto staring up at him. She had done her hair up all nice since the beginning of the play, probably trying to look something like the modern ladies and the outlandish styles they always wore.  
  
"Mikoto...my don't you look lovely." Zidane smiled with gritted teeth, "You know, I'm sort of in a hurry right now - but tomorrow, like I said-" Hadn't he already promised someone else he would meet them tomorrow? Ah hell, he couldn't remember. Mikoto just shook her head regardless.  
  
"It won't take a second, Zidane...I just want to congratulate you..." Her voice was lowered to a whisper as she pushed him up against the nearest wall, suddenly bringing herself very close. Dangerously close. Zidane looked around nervously - it was prime time for someone to snoop around and 'catch him in the act'. Preferably Garnet.  
  
"Um...Mikoto?"  
  
"I'd like to personally congratulate you really, Zidane, but there are so many people around." Mikoto shook her head and sighed cutely - and Zidane just groaned. If he could possibly have covered his eyes he would have, but Mikoto had his arms tightly pressed against the wall. Strong for a little thing, she was.  
  
"Mikoto - maybe I should clear some of this...'touchy' stuff up, eh? You see - this behavior isn't normal, unless we're boyfriend and girlfriend or something like that. Husband and wife - see that's a good example because...well, I'm married. Haha...fancy that - remember Garnet? Nice girl she is, my wife...see...we get to do things like what you're doing to me right now - but you're not really supposed to unless there is some sort of consensual agreement or contract drawn out first. Understand that?"  
  
Mikoto choked down his ramblings and returned with a giggle, "You're silly, Zidane. Of course I understand relationships...you and Garnet are together. That doesn't stop me from having my own feelings though...does it?"  
  
That sounded very wily for something as innocent as Mikoto. Zidane wrestled himself away and waved his hands rapidly, "Okay...well I guess not. Look, Mikoto - now really isn't a good time. I'll talk to you later!" He turned tail and ran.  
  
"Bye bye, Zidane!" Mikoto called out from behind him. Do you believe in God? Heh...strange place the world was becoming. The door to Garnet's box was closed, but the guards that were supposed to be guarding the entrance were strangely absent. Zidane wrinkled his brow and quickly pushed the door in - met instantly with the full brown eyes of his beautiful. And any beauty or thought of it he had ever had melted away and flowed into her...and he was happy.  
  
They stared into each other's eyes for a brief moment - Garnet's expression placid, Zidane's more happy...then Zidane took his wife's hand in his and kissed her forehead, "Are you ready to go home, my dear?"  
  
Garnet sighed and pressed closely against to his side, slight waves of relief flowing through him. "Yes..." She whispered, "Please yes."  
  
--  
  
I would swallow my pride,  
I would choke on the rind,  
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside,  
Swallow my doubt,  
Turn it inside out,  
Find nothing but faith in nothing,  
Want to put my tender heart in a blender,  
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion,  
Rendezvous then I'm through with you.  
Eve 6 - Inside Out 


	6. Religion and Roses

Light from a new day streamed slowly across the horizon, shining into the windows of a small tavern on the edge of Alexandria. Different drunks and vagrants were just waking from their short sleep on the cobblestones outside, grabbing their heads and mumbling curses as they went along their way. The ones that were slow to leave were speeded along by the City watchmen on the morning rounds. The Alexandrian Guard didn't appreciate loiterers, especially drunk ones.  
  
Yon watched the spiraling events of the street from the window of the Hawk Eye Tavern, sipping daintily at a goblet of wine as he contemplated the next steps of his plan. Flanking him were two hooded persons, a man and a woman, both watching him very sedately from behind tankards.  
  
"Now..." Yon touched a finger to his lips, "If our messenger fulfills his quest properly, the plan will move into motion sometime today. After that it is all up to you, Emryal. Are you capable?"  
  
The man called Emryal spat under the table, "If you don't screw up, we'll be out of here by tomorrow night."  
  
Yon nodded, "Excellent. And you, Alz? Have you been successful thus far?"  
  
"I know where he is..." Alz swirled her drink slowly, "But I really have no idea what he is doing here. Don't worry though, master. I will find out soon enough."  
  
"Good. It looks like everything is going just perfectly then, hmm?" Yon finished off his drink, then stood regally, "I will be returning to the project house today, so...I expect to see you both by the end of the week. Is that understood?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Yes, master."  
  
"Good...good. A toast to our good fortune then?" He set down his glass on the table and smiled, "Down with Zidane."  
  
--  
  
Kain rubbed his groggy eyes and wandered with blurry vision around his dawn surroundings. He didn't recall sleeping too much during the night - too much worry and not enough familiarity in a strange city. So he had roamed endlessly over the dark cobblestone streets in search for something, for nothing...for plain old passage of time.  
  
And as he gained fuller consciousness, Kain finally realized where he was as the sun rose. Back in the starting place, the root - the moat in front of the castle in front of the window that lead to his angel unknown. His silent comfort in a confused and brutal world. Once again, there she was - standing in a flowing gown of white, her eyes upturned to heaven, a sorrowful smile on her face. What agony he could pull from happiness!  
  
"Beautiful view, eh traveler?" Kain turned quickly, swiveling his eyes around to make him feel more honest and more guilty at the same time. Behind him stood a young man, his entire form swathed in black, his eyes fixed on the angel in the window.  
  
"That's the queen, isn't it?" Kain mumbled quietly. He didn't really like talking to strangers; they usually turned out to be disagreeable people who interfered with his life. Of course that rule made it hard for him to meet people...but it wasn't like he was a social butterfly.  
  
"Yes." The stranger answered, and Kain sighed heavily. "Why, did you have your high hopes set on...something?"  
  
Kain turned once again to look at the stranger, hooding his eyes in disinterest, "No, it just figures, that's all. She's the queen...hah."  
  
"You really think that's something? Here comes her husband - look!" The context of the conversation gave Kain reason to jump nervously, just a little bit, as he turned in the direction of the slowly approaching the wooden docks. Standing in the stern of this boat was a medium sized man - not too muscular or tall or handsome or anything particularly special. He was garbed in a suit of extravagant clothing that didn't seem quite right for him, and at his side sat an illustriously decorated golden sword. If Kain knew his legends correctly, the husband of Garnet was none other than Zidane, the legendary warrior from the lost world.  
  
"He doesn't look so special." Kain muttered to whomever was standing behind him - the words a little boastful and a little resentful. How could such a man get such a queen anyway? No one answered him, so he turned around to repeat his proclamation - only to find the space behind him was now unoccupied. The man in black was gone. "Odd..."  
  
--  
  
Zidane stepped briskly from the tottering boat, thanked the oar man quickly, nodded to a man by the shore staring off into space, and then rushed into Alexandria. The day would be primarily unfortunate; he had promised that he would dine with Mikoto - which meant that he had to pick her up from her inn, spend some money on food, ward off her affectionate assaults and pretend he was interested, almost simultaneously. However, before he threw his life to the dogs, he was going to talk to Cid while the steamship genius was still in town.  
  
There were only two people Zidane could think of who knew something about practically everything; Doctor Tot and Regent Cid. And since Doctor Tot was off muttering insanely to himself in Treno, Regent Cid was an excellent choice - and still almost sane as well. That thought made Zidane uneasy. Everything about the day seemed so halcyon, the perfect normal day in the kingdom, and that made it almost eerie. He had felt some sort of great presence at the play the night before - something speaking to him, calling out some question that had never plagued his mind. And so, naturally, now it plagued his mind. God...not the frequently spoke of yet never worshipped gods of the endangered Summoners, not the planet energy or death or life or anything of those grand things that were sometimes waved to very vaguely as 'supreme beings of some sort'. No...the voice in his head had very clearly asked about God. As if it meant to say 'the God'. Who was the God? Was there one? It had never really crossed Zidane's mind, and since he never heard it spoken of anywhere else, he supposed it was that way for the rest of the humans as well. The Genomes believed that they were empty vessels, their purpose was to wait to be filled, and once filled, or killed - or whatever happened at that time, they could be complete and happy. Zidane, of course, had long since learned the lie in this. He was not soulless or empty. He was just as filled with life and hopes and dreams as any human on the planet - and so were the rest of the genomes, once they were allowed to believe it. The only truth in such a lie was that Garland had indeed been manipulating them, molding them into the perfect followers and servants. Hell, if Garland had asked - the genomes probably would have worshipped him as a god.  
  
But that had all changed - Zidane had seen the difference in Mikoto personally, although he hadn't been back to the Black Mage Village to view the rest of the genomes since they had begun living there. There was more life in Mikoto than anyone he had ever seen - a radiance that sparkled from him, making him burn inside, like he should be out doing something very important instead of wandering aimlessly around the streets. She was...but no, dammit! No! Quickly he stopped thinking about Mikoto, leaving that matter for the evening, and pushed his thoughts back on track. Regent Cid...the God question. Right...  
  
"Hey bro!" The hail came from across the street, and Zidane had to pierce the swarming morning crowd with some persistence to find his target - although he knew who he would find. Blank stood lazily against the supporting pillars for one of the sleazy little town bars, his swaying motion and half-closed eyes indicating that was probably where he spent his night as well.  
  
"Blank...have a fun time?"  
  
Blank stumbled toward him with a lopsided grin, "You should have been there - Zid...I've never seen so many beautiful, loving women in my whole entire life!" Yes... Zidane thought with amusement - and he probably would never see them again.  
  
"Oh, I had a little fun of my own, I'm sure I really didn't miss anything." Sure as hell he didn't - his mind growled irately. It was the first night he could remember that Garnet had avoided him, ignored him, and gone to sleep without so much as a kiss on the cheek. But of course, not to wound his inflated pride, Zidane would never mention anything like that...ever.  
  
Blank shrugged and plopped a heavy arm on Zidane's shoulder, "Well...you do have a winner. Where you off to so early, bro?" Zidane neatly pried himself away from the wallowing drunkard, and continued down the street, motioning for Blank to follow,  
  
"I'm going to see Cid - ask him a few questions I think."  
  
"Really? What a coincidence, I was just going there myself!" Blank shot eagerly, starting up a pace to match Zidane's, "Interesting man, that Cid...he knows a lot of stuff."  
  
"Stuff?" Zidane grinned incredulously, "Like...how to pick a pretty tutor?"  
  
"You sure are observant." Blank spoke the words ruefully, but the happy grin was still plastered all across his face.  
  
"Of course I saw her - your eyes shot arrows to her all night - all I had to do was follow the trail. She's cute, Blank - but she has responsibilities...to a child. Just don't expect too much to come out of it - okay?"  
  
"You know me - I always expect the worst!" Blank claimed triumphantly, waving a half-numb hand around with feeling. The motion saddened Zidane - it was bad enough having his own women problems without his best friend getting caught up in a dead-end relationship as well.  
  
"Yeah...well...good luck anyway - maybe you have a little more chance with her than say...Ruby?" Zidane grinned and Blank flushed. He didn't have a chance in the world.  
  
--  
  
Cid really didn't have a clue in the world what Zidane was talking about. To his knowledge, the old regent spoke thoughtfully, pulling and pushing at his glasses with some regularity, the nations of Gaia had always been polytheistic, due to the different natures of the fates and life. The world had always been divided among the elements, two or more forces behind everything from good and evil to black and white. But everything had its time and purpose - for example, there was a time for war, and there was a time for peace. Sometimes love was the best option, sometimes fear, or hate, or sorrow. No element could be called completely good or evil, which is why polytheism always worked out for the humans. Since God couldn't be described as any one perfect 'element', his nature was split and split again into anywhere from two to a hundred different personalities that were all good and all different, and thus religions were born. There of course, was no credence to any of the gods that people spoke of - as there was no active religion flowing through Gaia in the present.  
  
"What about Madain Sari?" Zidane queried, "The gods they summon are real - I've seen them all multiple times."  
  
Cid shook his head sadly, "The story of Madain Sari is a very twisted one." His face was actually sorrowful, Zidane assumed because he had many dealings with the Summoners - his 'niece' and 'daughter' were both among the number. "The original Summoners did not believe the souls that they summoned to this earth were gods - in fact they knew the truth. The souls they pulled were powerful beings who shed their afterlife for the strong want of good, or ill, for mankind as a whole. Thus the Summoners could harness their powers and bring them back at will to do their bidding. However, this obviously does not make them gods - for, if the gods are the ones doing our bidding, what kind of gods are they? No...the Madain Sari believed themselves to be the Gods, the masters of Gaia, and so they grew very proud, telling their children of all the accomplishments and dreams that awaited them."  
  
But this only led them to disaster. The Summoned could only come at the will of someone who has a clear intent and purpose...clouded by pride and malice, when the Summoners began raising their armies for the war they planned to bring to Gaia, the Summoned turned on them, unleashing their fury in a fiery night of doom."  
  
Zidane peered on in interest - he had never heard this story, and wondered where the old man had come across it. Generally everyone believed that Cid just naturally knew everything - but he obviously had to study 'sometime.'  
  
The Regent continued in grave tones, "The Summoners that survived this feared the Summoned. But they also knew their role in the world, knew what the horns represented. They were chained to the race's destiny. So, as the generations continued, the elder Summoners began telling the young that the Summoned were in fact the gods, to eliminate a second judgment. They began to pray and worship, and some clans even went as far as to sacrifice to the great runed walls that were built, to appease the anger of the Summoned. And so the peace was held tentatively, until of course Garland began to meddle with the Invincible. No one is really sure what might have happened if the Summoners hadn't have changed their ways those many years ago...did the Summoned have a will of their own - or were they only blindly following some divine fate? That is...a very hard question to answer..."  
  
"Especially if there are no known gods." Zidane finished. Cid nodded thoughtfully, running his hand slowly across the iron rims of his glasses,  
  
"Well...apparently there is one now. I'm not sure if you've been paying attention, but lately the streets of Lindblum, perhaps Alexandria as well, have been ringing with cries of the Deliverer. Apparently a new cult has arisen that believes a great judgment will fall upon the earth, and the only thing that will be able to save them is this divinely empowered being they call the deliverer. Of course, to my knowledge, none of these people know who gives him this power, or why he will save them - or how, or what will destroy them...but...that's usually how religions go, eh?"  
  
Zidane shrugged, "I don't know - I've never been involved that much in religion." Zidane silently added the words 'ever'. "Who's in charge of this religion? Any ringleaders?"  
  
Cid shrugged, "Apparently in Lindblum there is a circle of priests called the Bright Circle. They claimed to have the knowledge and the prophecies passed down from revelations in their dreams."  
  
"You know a whole lot about this for not caring, Cid." Zidane noted, a smile touching his lips. He often wondered why Cid did what he did. Cid just tossed his head, flipped his glasses into his pocket, and smiled innocently,  
  
"I just love to know what's going on."  
  
--  
  
With a breath of mixed exasperation and relief, Garnet rose stiffly from her throne and removed the heavy golden band from her head. The crown she set on the ledge next to the throne, knowing that the courtiers would put it away as soon as she was gone. The court room had finally been cleared out, its soaring walls now free from the dull chatter and somber faces that had swarmed there only an hour before. If they all cared so much about her, perhaps they could leave her alone for a few days...she was getting a headache...not just from the constant chatter. Envisioning a hot bath and comfortable bed at home, Garnet stepped from the platform toward the giant bronze doors that led from the throne room to the stairwell.  
  
"Wai-wait! Hoooof!" From the reception hall a bulky form came, literally, flying in. The well-built, middle-aged man took a few clumsy steps toward the queen, lost his balance, and tripped to his knees. Garnet stared at him, running her eyes across his face in vague recognition. His eyes still carried a fiery youth in their depths, burning blue; they gazed up at her in flustered resignation, "My queen."  
  
The entrance guards cast curious glances between the queen and the intruder, making a feeble attempt to pull him out before Garnet intervened, "Wait!" She called, changing the direction of her exit to pass the man, "Rise...sir, and state your business in my court." One more adoring subject wouldn't set her day back too far. And...Deep inside, behind all her dreams of a quiet evening - she feared going home and seeing Zidane again.  
  
There was something in Zidane's eyes the night before that Garnet had never seen before - and it scared her beyond any fear or nightmare she could possibly have. He someone knew something was wrong - somehow he sensed that she had seen Kuja, that she had betrayed him. The hurt she saw in his eyes wounded her doubly. Zidane was such a good soul, so innocent and trusting despite all his facades of toughness and womanizing. He was as close to good as a mortal could be...she couldn't bear to...to...  
  
Why did Kuja have to return and ruin her perfect world? It was his fault for forcing her into something she didn't want the night before - and it was Zidane's fault for making her feel guilty! Fire crackled from her eyes as she swept down the stairs and held her arm out for the kneeling subject to take. Her resolve that had been swept away in a moment of chaos returned with new conviction. Whoever or whatever plagued her, it was all because she was queen - and thus she had to keep up her appearances. "Walk with me."  
  
The man rose to meet her request, his body trembling as if the arm he touched was the greatest honor of his entire life. Garnet noted to her amazement that his mammoth hand could have probably gripped her arm twice over if he wanted to - but rather he gingerly balanced above it, his rough, calloused hands barely brushing her smooth, pampered skin. And suddenly Garnet remembered where she recognized him from.  
  
"You are the man who was staring up at my window, are you not?" Garnet questioned him as she stared up into his face, her eyebrows raised imperiously. The man did not answer, but rather turned away, his face reddening furiously, and then she realized what he was thinking. Modestly, she allowed herself to blush as well, touching his arm lightly in a manner that seemed forgiving. "What is your name, sir?"  
  
"Er, K-Kain, your majesty." His face was still turned away as they exited the throne room and started down the long, elegant hall that led to the palace entrance. "A thousand pardons about that, you...see, I can ex- explain if you think I-"  
  
"That won't be necessary, Kain." Garnet restrained a massive sigh that fought to escape, "Just tell me why you're here, please. I do have many...important affairs to tend to yet today, and time is running short..."  
  
"Of course!" Kain bobbed his head quickly, using his free arm to begin plowing through the pockets in his peasant's garb, searching hurriedly, he found his prey quickly and brought it out to dangle before Garnet's eyes. It was a slender golden chain, a necklace. At the center a beautiful purple stone was set into the links, glittering dully in the torchlight. Garnet just stared at it pensively - it was pretty...much like the other dozens of gifts she received every day. She began to turn to look back up at Kain, but found that suddenly she couldn't take her eyes away from the stone...what a...strange object.  
  
"This is a tribute from the chief elder of Macema...we pledge our allegiance to the Alexandrian realm, and hope that we can serve our queen in any way you find necessary." Garnet vaguely heard Kain explaining himself in the background as her fingers wrapped around the chain and she tucked it safely in her bodice. A trinket...it would go into the treasury with everything else.  
  
"Well...thank you...I..." There was something strange about Kain's face that sent a chill through Garnet's spine as she stared at him...something nostalgic. "Have..." Garnet stopped walking just short of the bright ring of sunlight that marked the outside. "Have you always lived in Macema?"  
  
Kain's face suddenly appeared panicked, and he nodded hurriedly, "Of course, your highness...I am a native of that land. This is the first time I've even been to Alexandria." Something about that didn't ring true...Garnet took another long glance at his face, then shook her head with a sigh. Now she was just getting delusional - it was all the stress of her life, with Kuja and Zidane...now she thought everything was out to kill her. Or...l...Garnet grabbed Kain's arm so quickly her fingernails bit into his skin,  
  
"Well, sir...I'll have to bid you a good day. It's getting late and I do have my...business." She sounded so pathetic - lying to commoners.  
  
Kain looked down at her in relief and nodded, "Of course...thank you for seeing me, your majesty. I'll be going." He bowed deeply, looking into her eyes...and it seemed to Garnet that she was looking into the eye of...  
  
The Invincible.  
  
She shook her head furiously. What the hell was wrong with her? He was just a man, no one...nothing to her...yet he felt somehow like an old friend...a brother, a lover...something, she couldn't be sure of the feeling that burned at her insides. "Kain...I-I really don't understand why, but I need to see you again." Garnet watched with amusement as his eyes widened into saucers, "Nothing important of course," She explained calmly, "I just want to talk to you about a few things...you wouldn't mind, of course?"  
  
Kain nodded, his throat bobbing visibly, "Of course, your majesty."  
  
"Tomorrow night, come up to my chambers - I'll have the guards let you through."  
  
The throat bobbed more rapidly, "Yes. G-good day, your majesty." Garnet almost giggled aloud as the aging man almost ran down the steps and into the light, disappearing in a few hurried moments, leaving Garnet clinging to her raging doubts. Why why why?! She felt like she wasn't even making her own decisions any more - like a big hand was moving above her, pulling her around by the strings of her fragile little heart. Inviting a strange man up to her bedchambers, what would Zidane say if he heard that?  
  
Nothing probably...he would just stare at her and smile sadly. A sob pushed its way involuntarily from her throat.  
  
"My lady." The dark voice whispered its way around her head, bringing back distinct visions of skin, sweat and pleasure, all burned together into one beautiful and horrible display, like a dragon breathing fire. Garnet's body stiffened instantly, her hand quickly searching her face for any outward signs of her inner turmoil. There was none...she was still queen and there was nothing any of them could do about it. Affecting a cold gaze, she turned to glare at Kuja, who stood in the shadows - his black garb melding subtly with the white wall.  
  
"Yes...do you want something?"  
  
"Much in fact." A glitter ran through Kuja's eyes, there and gone, and once again the memory of the night before appeared clearly to Garnet, but she shook it away very quickly this time. It was nothing - just love. Just love? What was she saying...  
  
"So do the vagrants, but for this they are driven away."  
  
"Your sweet ice cannot chill my tormenting fire...I have brought you a gift, my lady, that is all...just a reminder." Kuja flourished gracefully, and produced from his billowing folds a flower, which he held up to the light for Garnet to take. It was a black rose. Garnet shuddered as her hands gingerly received the beautiful 'reminder'.  
  
"Thank you, Sir Kuja."  
  
"Arteon." He corrected sharply. Garnet ignored him.  
  
"I am leaving now." Garnet felt as if she stood in another man's presence for much longer she would collapse and break into a million pieces. She needed comfort - isolation...something! "Good afternoon."  
  
"Pleasant dreams." Kuja whispered behind her, leaving the air around her burning with a cold passion. Dignity gone, she pulled up her skirts and ran for her chamber.  
  
--  
  
Whatever the man knew, it really didn't help Zidane much with the words flickering through his head 'Do you believe in God'...at the moment he really didn't know or care, he was just alive and in a little mess of trouble as he moodily stomped down the street to his appointment with Mikoto.  
  
Blank, on the other hand, was in a whole lot of luck. He had watched Zidane prattling on with Cid about nothing remotely interesting for a while, but his thoughts were on much more important things - so he couldn't stay for very long. When he was positive the two weren't paying any attention to him - Blank slipped out of the room and into the cozy, red hallway.  
  
The airship was as comfortable of a building as Blank had ever been in personally. The interior was built like that of a castle or nice inn - so once inside and below deck, you didn't feel like you were mobile or airborne at all, you just felt at home and comfortable. The Hilda Garde V was a masterwork, the sleek polished wood shining faintly as the numerous hall lamps shone a warm glow against them. The floors were carpeted in a deep red plush, giving Blank the impulse to take his shoes off and thrust his toes into the soft threads...but of course he didn't. He just looked around, muttered about his hangover, and set out to look for his angel princess.  
  
For some...damn strange reason Blank found himself hopelessly obsessed with the brilliant witty face that berated him every time he opened his mouth. She had been in his thoughts since the moment he saw her, she was beautiful and smart and...hated him. But that was alright! With time she could learn to appreciate his finer aspects - like how he could always hold his beer, and...ummm...he didn't snore! That would probably definitely matter once they were in bed together. 'Woahoho Blank, getting a little ahead of yourself...'  
  
The silence of the massive ship pounded in around Blank's head, accentuating to him every single footstep, every single breath. For a few paranoid moments he believed that everything was a trap set up to catch him doing something awful - but then he suddenly remembered that he wasn't doing anything awful at all. He was just walking through the airship, examining the...fine build, making sure there weren't any thieves breaking in. Emboldened by his purpose, he moved on, elaborating on his courage. He was a knight of honor, patrolling the dark hallways for long, hard hours just to keep the royal family of Lindblum safe. He didn't need to eat, no sleep did he need! No, all the sustenance he required was found in the satisfaction of being a good man!  
  
Yeah...that was pretty good. Blank smiled confidently as he turned the corner, his mind searching for more bold events he could create and monsters to encounter - when suddenly a distant voice broke the silence. Blank stopped, looking around. The voice was female - very distinctively and beautifully female, and she was singing...very beautifully. Blank sighed and leaned against the wall, it was probably his angel - Gabrielle, her sorrowful tune telling of the woes of a broken love and the knight she wanted to save her.  
  
Actually the song, even though he couldn't understand the words, sounded happy...which, once realized, instantly changed Blank's perspective. He began walking again - quietly as possible, moving toward the sound of her voice. She was happy - she was probably singing a joyful song about the first day she had met Blank, how that filled her life with laughter and sunshine. Oh he was ready for her - he would burst into the room, singing a song of his own, and they could finally consummate their love. He'd been waiting his whole life for the moment and it had finally come.  
  
Blank's limbs shook with the excitement of the moment - every smooth length of wood beneath his feet turned into a slick, uneven obstruction. Staggering left and right, his mind searched eagerly for words to sing as he stepped closer and closer to the beautiful voice. The hallway lost its darkness and began merging into a dreamy light - it lost its frigid stone climate and heat began to seep into through the floorboards, the ceiling, through the closed door from which the light shone. He was walking straight into heaven - it was a vision, she really was an angel. It was meant to be!  
  
"I loooooove yoooooou!" Blank roared in the best singing voice he could come up with - his thick tongue making the crescendo almost impossible. He threw the door open - eyes gleaming expectantly as he looked into to see the pearly gates. There she was, there was Gabrielle standing in the middle of the room...and she was...naked. "Holy shit!" Blank roared as the song ended and the steamy mists of a bath room flooded over his body, making his face even redder than it already had become.  
  
Gabrielle's eyes widened and she screeched, flopping back down awkwardly into the hot water - which made her screech again as her posterior hit the hard region beneath her. "You fucking bastard!" She whined up at him. Blank found it quite impossible to answer, staring down at the two perfect mounds of flesh that rose from the water. It didn't take her long to realize this, and he hastily squirmed deeper in the soapy bath, "You pervert - how did you get in here!" She demanded imperiously.  
  
"I...walked." Blank grinned, staring unashamedly down at her.  
  
"Could you please look away?" She lowered her head, trying hard to simultaneously lose her blush and regain her composure, "If you were any sort of gentleman you would have done so already."  
  
"Right." Blank looked slowly away, but the grin remained on his face. "You know...speaking of correct behavior - your...outburst wasn't quite what I would call 'ladylike'."  
  
"I had my reasons." She sniffed.  
  
"Of course you did, Gabrielle. My apologies for doubting an angel...who was..."  
  
"I'm taking my morning bath - you idiot. I really prefer to take these alone."  
  
"Of course you do...yes..." Blank murmured, "I won't be long. I was just...captivated by that song you were singing - it's really quite lovely. What were the words? I couldn't quite catch them."  
  
Gabrielle paused for a moment, then sighed, "Of course you wouldn't understand the words - the song is in high speech, only those of noble blood are taught the dialect - it's quite complex and you commoners probably wouldn't understand it."  
  
"Right - commoners. What is the song about?" Blank persisted, suddenly feeling pleasantly aware of where he really was. He was in a bathroom having a bout of small talk with a bathing woman - how many times had that ever happened in his life?  
  
"It's a..." She splashed around nervously, her hand reaching for the soap, something to keep her busy, "It's an old love song, from the legends."  
  
"Aha! I knew it!" Blank brushed at his hair excitedly, "I heard you singing and I knew it was a love song about me!"  
  
"It's not a love song about you, mongrel!" She snapped, receding even farther into the water, "You're a horrible, hideous, drunk who probably doesn't deserve to live - why would I be in love with you?"  
  
"Fate." Blank returned stoutly, "The gods meant for it to be." He knew all that talk about gods would come in handy eventually.  
  
"Oh get over yourself." The angel growled, irately dabbing her face with soap, "Now could you please leave...so I can resume my bath without having to worry about pleasing spectators with my body." The way she said it, and the way her eyes suddenly sparkled, left Blank with sudden warmth that did not come from the heat of the room. He turned to look at her quietly for a moment, then he walked away,  
  
"I came to see you, angel. I want to get to know you - because I love you." He struggled frantically for some words possible of wooing her - but all he found was empty, heated air - her form buried in the swirling waters. "I love you! I'll never forget this day!" And then he rushed out - wondering why suddenly he felt so empty.  
  
--  
  
Even after he left, Alicia could still feel the touch of Blank's eyes on her skin, leaving a searing path across her. Her eyes welled over with tears as she pulled her head under water, staring glassily at the wavering ceiling high above her.  
  
She didn't understand; there was no reason why she should be so confused. She was the royal tutor; she had her background, her honor, her life all holding her high. He had nothing, he was nothing, he would never be anything. How could he make her feel so low? Like his high words and ridiculous compliments shot straight into her foundation, crumbling the thick walls and bringing her crashing to the cold, hard ground. 'I'm not alone! I'm not alone!' She silently screamed at the hot, undulating waves. But they were silent...all too silent to validate her claim.  
  
The streaming tears broke forth into a fountain. She rose from the water slowly, only to rest her arms of the slick stone ledge beside her, her eyes staring dumbly at the closed door. Slowly...ever so slowly, the walls of her life began to reform beneath, pulling her back up by the strings of her dignity and pride. She hurriedly sniffed up her tears, splashing at her red eyes - berating her sniveling mind. He had no right to break her down like that - and she was pathetic to let him do so. He wasn't the one she waited for or dreamed about - he was just a lovesick dog, looking for another bitch to drool over. Only another day - one more day and then she'd go back to Lindblum and he'd go back to wherever the hell he came from, and they would never see each other again and both be the better for it. She wouldn't let him bring her down! She wouldn't! Angrily she slapped the tears from her face, forcing the soft skin back into a rigid, stone wall. She couldn't...  
  
--  
  
To a man who had remained abstinent his entire forty years of existence, the presence of a woman was still a dream, a fantasy - some untouched fruit from a world far away. There was no way for him to quite understand what he looked forward to, or to know quite what it was he feared - but he did. Every time Steiner gazed into Beatrix's eyes, a bittersweet connection was made. Mournful, adoring, tender...passionless. He looked at something that he wanted more than words could tell - but he did not understand at all what he wanted or what she was. He wanted...to love her. But love was such a vast term, misused and overused in his era that he wasn't even quite sure what it meant. What was love...was it his never-ending devotion? The burning pang inside when his lips touched hers...was it the faith that they would be united one day? Was it his noble belief in abstinence and purity? What the hell was wrong with him?  
  
"Beatrix...I..." Steiner began, clearing his throat. The restaurant he had chosen for the occasion was a large, formal dress affair. And formally he was dressed - a solid black creaseless suit, livened slightly by the slight view of a glowing white shirt and scarlet tie. His hair was combed smoothly back, the loose ends tied in a neat tail behind his head. He had even bathed before the evening - twice. Somehow, however - even in the soft, comfortable suit - Steiner still felt as if he was wearing his armor. He still felt like the big clumsy knight standing on the empty battlefield, searching for something more to fight.  
  
Beatrix sat at the other end of the small booth table, her single bright eye glowing happily at him. The dress she had chosen for the occasion was black as well - flowing as smoothly as the night down her muscular form. One shoulder was bare, exposing well-tanned skin that was broken in numerous places by old white scars. The scars caused Beatrix endless embarrassment, so she wore her hair flung over this shoulder - a silky sheath to dull the truth of who she was: A killer...just like him. Two killers on a date - how ironically romantic. She had changed her usual leather eye-strap for a thinner, silken one that tugged playfully at her cheek - an awkward feeling, combined with where she was and what she was wearing, to keep a girlish blush on her cheeks. But Steiner really didn't care - all he could see was her beauty...all he could see was his Beatrix, standing in her shining armor - the woman that he loved.  
  
"Beatrix-" Steiner began again, "It's been quite a long time I've been meaning to say this...rather - it's been on my mind since...I...that is-" Since when - what was he talking about? Frantically the knight fumbled for flowery words to mask his fear, "I never really loved until I looked into your eyes...eye that is."  
  
Beatrix grinned, snaking her hand across the polished wooden surface to tug at his huge, clumsy fingers, "Steiner - you're stammering...what is it that you want? Come on - you don't have to toy around with me."  
  
"Of course not!" He exclaimed, reaching his hand into his coat pocket to clutch at the smooth band of gold concealed inside. "Why would I ever have to hide anything from you...-dear, my dear. We've never been anything but honest with our relationship - right, right?"  
  
"Um...yes?" Her eye twitched - most likely because of the strap stretched across her skin. That was definitely the reason.  
  
"Right...of course...so, speaking of our love, I just thought I'd show you a little token of my affection. Which is...this meal of course, haha..." Steiner trailed off nervously with a laugh - suddenly doubting himself. If he couldn't propose to her without trailing off into mutterings and gibberish, was he truly to the stage of taking responsibility for her? I mean - he did love her...didn't he? What was love again?  
  
Their relationship after two years still consisted of pleasant evenings in the park - walks along the river at night, breakfast in the café, practicing swords, kisses on the cheek, conversations about idle nothings...two adolescents out dating. Never had any real serious issues come up - such as where they would live, what they would do, could they really cope living in the same house together seeing each other ever day? Of course, Steiner didn't really know. He thought that he could - but he'd never really tried it, and it wasn't like he was given a trial period. His laws of chivalry strictly forbid such a thing...but without 'such a thing' how could he truly know what would happen? 'I love her, I really do!' He shouted hoarsely to his mind. But his mind wasn't as sure. "I..."  
  
Luckily, almost simultaneous to his indecision, a gigantic cook burst from the kitchen doors, his white hat waving floppily around as he ran in terror from a moogle who was flying after him, calling desperately, "Kupo!" Apparently the hapless chef had been mixing the nuts in with his salad when a hungry moogle had drifted in...so began the chase, chef, salad and moogle, around and around the fancy diner, while all the rich patrons stared on in dignified silence.  
  
Steiner's eyes widened as he watched the display. Ridiculous! His thoughts trailed away to something about helping the chef - when suddenly he felt Beatrix's fingers curl around his and her face pressed up against his shoulder as she walked around the table to sit next to him.  
  
"I understand." She whispered, spreading kisses across his cheek with a ferocity that made him blush, "You want to go further...I think that is a very, very good idea." Steiner's eyes turned to stare into her sparkling eye, gleaming bright with a flash of mischief. Instinctively he gulped - both heart and head's decisions flying away with his reason,  
  
"You do?"  
  
--  
  
"What're you thinking about?" Mikoto's cheerful voice reverberated around Zidane's head as he slowly awoke from his stupor. The long day had slowly transformed into a slow night, and his tedious dinner with Mikoto had been riddled with frequent lapses into his thoughts.  
  
"Just...gods and things - silly stuff like that, I'm sorry..." He mumbled, casting a roving glance at Mikoto. She looked very pretty - dressed daintily in a fiery red, sparkling dress, her neck and hands decorated with white furs. Her hair was done up in an elegant spiral above her head, and her face glowed, beauty points accentuated by slight dabbing of color in the right places. Very pretty indeed...she looked very hurt as she stared at him, eyes searching his - wondering why he wouldn't stay with her, be interested and care about her. He would be - he really would! But he just couldn't - he had Garnet, he had life, he had problems...having another very-attached female by his side wasn't really going to help things any.  
  
He strained a smile in her direction - noting in relief that it was probably going to be the last time he saw her before she went back to...wherever she was going. She returned the smile adoringly, then answered his muttered words,  
  
"Gods...that's interesting. I didn't know the peoples - the...that this world really had any gods."  
  
Hmm? Zidane's focus sharpened, and his eyes bored into hers. Now that was something he hadn't expected, "What do you know about a god?"  
  
Mikoto shrugged lightly, "Oh...I don't know. I just guess that if there was such a thing he'd be great and powerful and kind and...you know, all those things. Like...you." Her speech slowed as an emotional flush flew across her face. Hastily she explained, "You-you and Kuja, like how Kuja was! Powerful and...strong."  
  
Her blatant slipups went unnoticed as Zidane rolled the thought over in his mind. Him a god? It was silly...technically he was a 'god' in the fact that he was powerful and undefeated in the world - but he didn't have any special powers. He fought with physical and trance powers just like everyone else. Kuja was more of a god then he - but Kuja...gods couldn't disappear. And Necron was even more of a god - but he was evil...why would there be an evil god if there were no good ones?"  
  
"Gods can't be evil...can they? I mean - they're gods, right?" Zidane looked up at her. He didn't realize that he had spoken his last few thoughts aloud.  
  
"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes tracing the bright line of her trembling lips.  
  
"Well...if you were a god - that means you are the most powerful." Mikoto shyly traced a circle on the table with her finger, "So...if you are the most powerful, no one can call you evil or 'wrong' really...because they can't be better than you. Who can judge an all-powerful being?"  
  
Something about the words sounded a little too intelligent for such an innocent being...remembrance tickled at the back of Zidane's mind, but he pushed it away, "I suppose you're right. But it really doesn't matter - there are no gods. There is no god." For the first time he spoke the words out loud, and that some how filled him with confidence. He could be sure now. "So I don't even know why I'm thinking about it."  
  
"Because you're a truth-seeker, Zidane. Lies and injustices bother you so much...that's why you're you - that's why so many people love you. A true knight." She stated confidently. Zidane blushed in spite of himself. He couldn't remember the last time someone had so blatantly showered him with outrageous compliments. Actually - he had never been that lucky. Did Mikoto really admire him that much?  
  
He stared into her eyes - trying as hard as he could to find her intent. Suddenly he very desperately wanted to run, to leave her alone and go back to Garnet - to hand Mikoto off to Blank and let someone who would really appreciate her take her. But he didn't - he stayed, talking and staring into those deep auburn eyes until the shadows melded into the sky and the world was coated in darkness.  
  
I'm sorry...so sorry.  
Your beauty is so vague.  
It drives me...it drives me.  
Absolutely insane.  
I'D EAT YOU ALIVE.  
Eat you Alive - Limp Bizkit  
  
-- 


	7. Beautiful Sinner, Abandoned Saint

"Very mysterious indeed." The tall man lifted a fist slowly to his chin as he contemplated the news. Emryal watched him, watched his actions and reactions slowly - pensively. Emryal hated Menoth - he really did, but he couldn't help but respect the man. If Emryal had ever found the chance, he would have killed the Ruc Tzai in a heart-beat, but there were no chances - no uncertainty with the strong, darkly shrouded magician. He was always on guard, always completely aware of his surroundings, never unsure of himself. It had come to the point at which Emryal almost didn't even try anymore...almost. But Emryal was also just as completely aware and sure of himself...perfection was for the gods, Menoth had to let down his guard sometime - and then he would have his chance.  
  
It wasn't really the person himself that Emryal hated. He did respect the tall man, his body melding in with the shadows of the wall. Menoth's entire demeanor was dark - his eyes were black, cold and rigid - his hair had been died black and pulled behind his head, a bold sign of individuality and mark of his leadership. The clothes he wore were all dark and loose, luxurious silks from the various realms they had visited in the glorious raids of Tialtor. No...it wasn't the man himself, not the harsh, calculating warlord. It was what Menoth thought about the Ellians.  
  
Emryal looked down at his own clothing, his own pallid skin. Every Ellian was spawned from the black exactly the same, precise factory models with one purpose in mind. Each Ellian on his own was fairly powerful, but together they made a mighty force, an army that could defeat anything that blocked their way. Some ancient writings from the libraries claimed that Ellians were the soldiers of the gods, others claimed that they were the earlier, stronger version of the humans.  
  
Which was probably true - Emryal looked human, letting him blend in with society on other planets, but a group of Ellians would scare any human into a mindless stupor. Blood-red hair, white skin, broad muscular bodies - they were machines, ruthless killers - not created to think or learn but simply to destroy.  
  
Which was what made Menoth and Emryal such odd cases. For the most part the Ellians were only semi-intelligent, smart enough to follow orders and live pleasant lives, but not ambitious or tactical in any way. They had no goals, they had no dreams - no past or future. Since the Ellians were spawned, there were no women or children, so there were no families, no social events, no towns. The Ellians lived in tall, barracks buildings built precisely and frugally. The residential buildings surrounded the core, the military center of Tialtor...most of the rest of the 'planet' was devoted to the engines, powerful fire breathers that hurtled the orb through space, seeking out any target they could devour. Ellians did not age, they simply lived until they were killed. Their lives consisted of the journeys they took to other planets - where they killed, stole and destroyed to their content, then Tialtor consumed the planet's energy so she could continue...and then they moved on to the next location. It was a very straightforward, very fulfilling life for most Ellians.  
  
Emryal, on the other hand, was never satisfied. He was filled with the lust for power - with a hatred for mankind. He wanted to kill everything, to destroy everyone, to take over and rule, to raise from their pathetic existence on 'The Pirate Queen' as the humans called her, and begin a true reign of glory. He urged his brethren, the Ellians, time and time again to rise up and begin a new way of living - but they really didn't care. They didn't know anything different from what they had - and they didn't want anything different either...they were content, but not happy. Menoth, on the other hand, wanted something that Emryal couldn't really understand or grasp. He didn't hate the humans like Emryal did, he respected them - wanted to learn from them. And so he digested the information Emryal had gleaned from Gaia, running it through whatever flawed moral system he had established for himself, then spoke calmly,  
  
"So...this 'human' contacted you once you landed, and said he knew who you are and wanted to help you...and so you are going to help him - is that it?"  
  
"The old man Yon believes in mutual agreements, and I cannot argue with that." Emryal grinned wolfishly, "Besides, he is working in the same direction as we are - it will just be a short stop along the way."  
  
"Some pathetic revenge scheme pointed at a few individuals is hardly 'on the way'."  
  
"But he claims these are the powerful heroes of the earth - if we can get them out of the way first, nothing can stop us."  
  
"Of course..." Menoth murmured quietly, tracing his chin with a long, smooth finger, "And what of the Zetai? Any word?"  
  
"Ah!" Emryal grinned again, even broader this time. He had almost forgotten, "There is one left - the old man claims. He says she has faded away in the past few years, but if we are helpful he is sure he can find her again."  
  
"A Zetai." Menoth rasped, his face lighting up in a smile, "That means..." His eyes narrowed as they met Emryal's, cold sparks flying between them, "She is mine. By right."  
  
"Hmph." Emryal growled, his finger reaching out to point at Menoth's chest, his long steel claws shining brightly in the dim light, "She is ours. You are no more worthy than I am."  
  
Menoth glanced down at the claw, pausing for a long moment as he contemplated the events. The overall news was much too good for the Ruc Tzai to stay down, however, and the thin smile returned once again to his lips, "Of course...then we shall deal with that issue when we cross it, no?"  
  
Emryal dipped in a sarcastic bow, "Of course."  
  
"Hmm..." Menoth's lips curled upwards in a dangerous arc. Emryal knew he walked dangerous ground - but he walked that every day - he neither loved nor respected Menoth. Menoth was, by his power, the Ruc Tzai - the Ellian title of 'leader of mind', while Emryal was the Alc Tzai, or 'leader of might'. Legally, they were supposed to be equal in power and gain - but since no one ever seemed to question the laws, no one really followed them either. Thus...Menoth thought himself the best, above the weak, mindless Ellians. Emryal snorted...only a short time remained before his day would come...  
  
"When will our mother reach this 'Gaia'?" Menoth queried, his elated mind carrying his body hungrily toward the docks.  
  
"Only a matter of days...five - six? Not very long, whatever the case." Though the 'mother', Tialtor, traveled fairly slowly - the Ellians had been blessed with smaller one-man carriers, called the Geshan, which could carry them short distances through space, effectively hopping them from Tialtor in case of attack. To a Geshan Menoth headed with a vague nod, and words that made Emryal curl his lip in a loathing sneer,  
  
"Come, my great Alc Tzai. We shall walk together among the sands of fate."  
  
--  
  
Shade glared thoughtfully down at the letter he had just written. The words explained everything that he wanted them to, detailed instructions of how everything had to be done to bring his plans into fruition. Everything was perfect - but he still couldn't help but be angry. His words were never as perfect as his thoughts, he couldn't put on paper the entirety of a dream, it was impossible. He wished his blessing hadn't been immortality, but rather a hundred years of enlightenment - for immortality endowed enlightenment in very short, painful steps.  
  
He glanced once more around the grand inn in its glassy white marble and flowing red curtains. The humans certainly had a high opinion of themselves - always trying to impress each other with wealth and taste...sadly he fell victim to those useless pursuits. He was, after all - human. He couldn't be completely impervious to mankind's pull on his soul. But he was better than they were. The inn was almost empty, a few loafers staggered around the bar, a few of the staff wandered around with menial tasks. And he was leaving. Deftly he folded his note and slipped it in the letterbox next to the door. She would find it within a few hours, and begin her own campaign...what a wonderful girl - so intelligent and faithful. If only the humans could be half of what she was.  
  
Night was falling - slowly the sands of time trickled away grain by grain. Shade hastily straightened and headed for the door. It was well past time to leave. "I'm going." He murmured, softly but loud enough so he knew his pursuer would hear. "You can go tell your master I won't dabble in his plans."  
  
A shadow shifted on the stairway - a small movement, but one he caught. He never missed anything. "And how do you know who my master is, Shade?" Hmm...the voice was female - interesting. So Yon had a whore of his own.  
  
"I don't need to mirror his pitiful attempts to spy, I already know everything that is going on, everything that will transpire. He should stop worrying so much and start using his gift - we're supposed to be allies, you know."  
  
"Hmph." The voice snorted contemptuously. If Shade had been someone else, say...Yon, he would have killed her for making light of him. But of course he wasn't - Shade was completely immune to anger, or any of the lesser emotions of that kind.  
  
"One thing that I don't know...however, is how Yon managed to get his hands on a morph. An interesting story, I'm sure - maybe we can sit down and go over it at some later date."  
  
"I'm not a morph, entik! I'm an elder dragon!" She hissed, "My power is beyond that of a morph."  
  
"Ahh..." Entik was the elder, derogatory term for 'human', used mainly by...morphs. "Well, whatever you call yourself, it's been nice meeting you - but I have to be on my way. Tell your master that I'll be vacationing in Tyen - very lovely town I've heard - especially this time of year. I won't meddle with his affairs, but I'll still be close enough to keep an eye on him. Tell him not to do anything...rash."  
  
"He doesn't take orders from you." The voice muttered, slipping up against the wall to let Shade pass by, "But don't worry - there will be no mistakes."  
  
"Ahh..." Shade smiled. There was no such thing as a mistake. He could see the threads of fate - he could almost taste what would happen. Yon was a bigger fool than Shade had imagined if he believed that he was controlling fate. "Of that...I am absolutely certain."  
  
--  
  
Steiner didn't really remember much after the moogle ran from the kitchen...all he knew was that suddenly time sped up and his thoughts slowed down. He didn't remember finishing his food, or paying the waiter. He didn't remember the walk home, talking to the guards, stealing through the dark castle to his apartment. He and Beatrix had shared adjacent rooms in the officer's quarters of the castle, broad, well-furnished military dorms with a thick wooden door in between their rooms. However, he could not remember the door between the rooms ever swinging ajar. He was too noble of a man for something so indecent to happen...except for...this particular night.  
  
When time slowed down again he found himself lying on his back on his bed, the coarse blanket chafing against his cold skin. Suddenly this provided him with a slow revelation...he wasn't wearing a shirt. Where had his shirt gone if he wasn't wearing it anymore? Someone must have stolen it! With conviction he jerked up from his reclining position. Only the worst brigand would do something so vile and low as steal another man's shirt - this behavior would desist immediately!  
  
Almost as quickly he was pushed back into his relaxed position, where he lay, staring at the bland white ceiling, and the slender, strong arm that had pushed him on his back. The arm was tender white, with a blush of pink blended in gently, a heavenly color sent straight from the sun. The aroma was overwhelming, the strong pleasing scent of a real woman. Palace girls smelled all of perfume and flowers, starch and too many baths. This smell was much more enticing. It was like catching the purest scent of the grass and trees and life of the planet and blanketing her with it, blessing her. Often times he could remember pressing his face up against her neck and drawing her in - feeling like if he took in enough breath perhaps he could consume her and be with her forever.  
  
Now as he stared up at his angel, the questions he had asked himself before seemed silly. Of course he loved her - how could he not love her? A glance from her eye pulled him in on an unbreakable chain, a touch from her hand seared his flesh away until only his bleeding heart remained. He loved everything about her. He loved the way her long, dark hair flowed down over her shoulder and trickled against her strong arm. He loved the way the muscles in her wrist tensed as she pressed her palm against his stomach; he loved the way her fingers quivered as they slid up and down against his skin. He loved the way she bit her lip when she smiled, the way she ducked her head shyly when she blushed.  
  
Suddenly the beauty of the whole situation overwhelmed him - driving back his wants and rules, making all his thoughts and resolutions seem very silly and childish compared to life at its fullest. He drew the woman he loved to him, clutching her hand in his - melding the heat of their bodies, mixing their sweat together. Beatrix opened her mouth and Steiner devoured her smile as he tenderly kissed her hair, trying to prepare himself for the strange plunge into the unknown. But then...it was probably better not to worry - worry could only ruin the perfect moment.  
  
"I..." Steiner whispered into the silk locks, his throat nearly to dry to speak, "I am yours to command, my lady."  
  
--  
  
Zidane watched Garnet brush her hair, his heart falling further with each stroke of the brush. Everything that he had tried to ignore during the day, talking to Tot and Mikoto, seeing people and going places, all a desperate attempt to push his worry aside. But apparently nothing had changed...or more accurately - something had changed. He just wasn't really aware of what it was that had changed, or what he could possibly do to help her - but anything was better than watching her pull lifelessly at her glowing hair, her face proclaiming that she was trying as hard as she could not to cry.  
  
For the first time in his life Zidane was feeling despair. All of his life, no matter how grand or grim the situation, there was always at least something he could do, someone he could fight. He didn't understand the silent warfare, if there was no threat he could see, no enemy to face, then how could anything be wrong? Garnet had always loved him before, and so had been open and honest if anything was ever troubling her...but perhaps this time...  
  
He didn't even want to speculate with something that rash - he trusted Garnet as much as he found possible, trusted her with his life. She would never willingly break his trust - he had enough faith in her to know that. Garnet's eyes turned to look at him, and sorrow washed over him in a great flood. Suddenly, without knowing the reason, Zidane felt the great urge to cry.  
  
Slowly and deliberately Garnet set the brush aside and rose to her feet. Their bedchamber was a huge, luxurious affair, one whole side of the room devoted to a bath and wash area, the center for clothing and lounging, and the other end of the room containing a massive full-post bed. Garnet stepped over to her dresser and began to disrobe for the night, very plainly averting her eyes from her husband.  
  
Zidane gazed at her as the clothing fell away, the ache of his heart pushing stronger than the loud throbs of passion it contained. He loved every inch of the woman that stood there - in her form was enfolded his life, his treasure, the accumulation of all he had lived for to that point. He had earned her, and would do it over and over again to stay near her. Zidane knew he would die for her, over and over again if it would keep her happy.  
  
Zidane let his eyes trace the strong line of her shoulder as she bent to pull her nightshirt from a vast assortment of gowns and blouses filling the massive wardrobe. Zidane felt a pang of shame as his gaze trickled across her unblemished skin. Her muscles were far too trained, overused for a lady of her position. She never should have been subjected to the torturous journeys of the years past, the harsh stress that she faced now in running a kingdom. There must have been a way it could have been avoided. He could have...he could have...  
  
But he couldn't! Her smooth and slender back rose into the beautiful curve of her hips and thighs. Fate had ordained their lives to be this way, it was all said and done, there was no room for regret. He just had to stop being such a baby, turn into a man and be there to hold her up - no matter what. No matter what.  
  
As if moving to test his resolve, Garnet turned to face him, the nightshirt she had donned barely a wisp across her voluptuous feminine form. Zidane barely saw this, all he saw were her looming eyes, the tears that bloomed readily around them, her trembling lip, her flowing hair curling shamefully around her face.  
  
"Zidane...do you hate me?"  
  
Zidane didn't understand it - he didn't understand it at all, what the question meant or why he was so upset. In a transient moment he suddenly found that he was sobbing, his body convulsing as tears swept through him. With a few falling steps he tumbled his way to the bed and curled up over the covers - feeling much like a child who doesn't understand why his parent went away. "No...I do-I don't hate you G- G...Garnet," His words bubbled forth clumsily as he stared across the room at her through tear-stained eyes, "Please, just...just let me love you. Please!" A shattering silence echoed through the room, broken only by Zidane's heavy shuddering. A few moments was all he could take before his emotion rang forth in full force, a helpless scream, "PLEASE!"  
  
Garnet stared at him for a few agonizingly long moments, then her shoulders sank, and a long breath forced its way from her system. Finally, in a voice on the verge of tears, she whispered, "Zidane..." Hesitantly she walked toward him, her stride uncertain if she was being the queen of Alexandria or Zidane's lover, her step faltered between a delicate sway and a hurried rush to the bedside. There she collapsed against him, clutching his head in her hands as she pushed his face to her chest and joined him in shedding tears. "Zidane..." She whispered again against his hair, "Please...no matter what happens you have to trust me. No matter what."  
  
"I do, Garnet." Zidane sobbed, pulling at her desperately, "I always did."  
  
"I should never have doubted you, Zidane...I'm a miserable person."  
  
"You're too perfect. I just want to love you, Garnet...nothing else matters." And truly, nothing did matter. Anything that had been doubted or contrived in the days that had separated them dissolved as they clung to one another, murmuring their love into the deep hours of the night, a night that would be remembered for ever and ever, burned into memory by the flames of love.  
  
The last night.  
  
Little angel go away  
  
Come again some other day  
  
The devil has my ear today  
  
I'll never hear a word you say  
  
He promised I would find a little solace  
  
And some piece of mind  
  
Whatever, just as long as I don't feel so  
Desperate  
And Ravenous,  
So Weak and Powerless,  
Over you.  
Weak and Powerless - A Perfect Circle 


	8. Normalcy Overdosed on Speed

Alicia felt rather than heard someone enter her room, a furtive shadow creeping amidst the darkness. Groggily she tried to think of what time it was, probably dawn by the looks of the tiny fragments of light that crept in through the walls. For some reason she didn't doubt it was Blank, doing something absurd and reckless again. She only had to avoid him for a few more hours before the airship took off and left Alexandria for good. Alicia had already sworn deeply to herself that she would never set a foot in the town ever again - never subject herself to such shameless abuse.  
  
But she couldn't help it if Blank was so persistent he crept in through the docks, slipped past the guards and into the ship with every whim he had. The morning before had almost been disastrous, Blank had made off with every shard of pride and dignity she owned. Alicia couldn't even imagine what sort of scandal he had planned for the day. A horrid urge rose inside her to jump to her feet and scream "GO AWAY!" But she knew this would only cause embarrassment for her person. Blank would probably just laugh it off, smile in his odd manner, and make up some awful sickly sweet compliment about his dreams and their future together. It was horribly kind abuse.  
  
But she didn't scream or jump or do anything drastic, she just rolled over onto her side, gathering the covers around her, and spoke as coldly as she could muster, "Yes?"  
  
"Teacher?" The light voice was thickened with sleep, and Alicia almost blushed to realize that she had come close to assaulting Eiko. Quickly her thoughts turned from anger to concern,  
  
"What is it, Eiko? Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes..." The cute voice was pensive as Eiko's bed-garbed form came into Alicia's limited vision, her head hanging in shame, "But I couldn't sleep...do you think I could sleep with you, teacher?"  
  
Questions instantly rose into Alicia's mind. Why didn't she go to her parents' room, why couldn't she sleep, why...but Alicia instantly brushed these aside - already knowing the answers. With a mixed feeling of sadness and content, Alicia pulled the covers aside and patted the mattress by her side, "Here...come on."  
  
Eiko obliged swiftly, bouncing into the bed and snuggling up against Alicia affectionately, her arms curled tightly around her. Alicia dropped back down into a state of restfulness for a few quiet moments, before she heard Eiko murmur, "Teacher...you look sad - what's the matter?"  
  
Alicia blinked and shook her head, "I'm not sad..."  
  
"You looked sad yesterday too. We didn't even go out and look around, you just moped around and we didn't study and..."  
  
"Alright-Eiko..." Alicia cut the girl off harshly, suddenly realizing Eiko's motive for changing rooms. She was more mature than she let on - the girl had found the art of being subtle. Alicia noticed that Eiko had drawn back, and quickly she put her arms around the girl, stroking her purple hair, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh. I've just been having a lot of problems lately. Problems dealing with my problems, it's too complicated for you to understand."  
  
"It's about Blank right?" Eiko left Alicia with her mouth hanging open. The girl smiled smugly, knowing that she was right, "He's so sweet, Teacher...you should give him a chance."  
  
"Only chance he gets is to leave before I kill him." Alicia grumbled, remembering what she had been thinking before she discovered the shadow was Eiko. "We're just...incompatible, Eiko - you wouldn't understand, trust me."  
  
"Stop saying that." Eiko interjected, prodding Alicia's shoulder with a finger, "I think that you're just not allowing yourself to be compatible with someone you consider beneath you."  
  
"Eiko..." Alicia poked her back, her voice thick with warning, but Eiko glibly avoided the retaliation, changing the subject quickly and effectively.  
  
"Alicia, why does daddy always get embarrassed when you're around mommy?" There wasn't a single question that Alicia could have been less prepared for.  
  
"I...don't know." She felt the sorrow trickle back into her system, and she brushed at Eiko's hair again thoughtfully, "Your father is just a very busy man - sometimes he finds it hard to deal with...relationships and things like that."  
  
"That's not a very good excuse." Eiko grumbled, and Alicia couldn't help but chuckle. She had been with the girl for two years and still the princess managed to surprise her.  
  
"Go to sleep, little girl. We'll have lots of lessons in the morning, I promise."  
  
"Really?" The voice brimmed with hope, and Alicia realized something else new. Deep inside, the little girl really did enjoy the learning - she really did want to know how to grow up. Such a thought filled Alicia with hope.  
  
"Really."  
  
--  
  
Why are you here...  
  
Arteon stared wistfully off at the sunrise, his eyes tracing the patches of clouds, as if his self-proclaimed sovereignty could change their shape. "I don't know..." He murmured, mind lost in thoughts of what was and what was better, lost in what would never be again.  
  
If you are such a weak-minded fool than how can you be ruling over me?  
  
"I don't know..." The answer was almost instinctive, Arteon realized with a twinge of a smile, questions that were too difficult to answer were best left ignored...the rule of Arteon the pacifist. He could almost hear Kuja snarling deep within him at how worthless he had become. "I can only assume, I can only think from a head that's confused and misguided."  
  
Hah...you think it's because you love her, is that it? What a humiliating reason to live, there to love someone who doesn't love you back.  
  
"Not as humiliating as you might think I suppose...because as you noted, I still have power over you." Arteon's fingers traced the rigid line of the stone archway that forced a crudely shaped window into the side of the inn. He stared at the sun, stared thoughtfully and imagined Mera standing there, the brilliant golden light flooding over her face and her hair. It would be so easy to run to the castle and coax her once more, but he couldn't...he had all but promised that he wouldn't. "She loves me...somewhere, I've seen it before and I know that she does love me."  
  
She doesn't love you, fool. She doesn't love anyone - she simply enjoys you, enjoys protracting her pleasuring lust from you, that's all you are to her after all... A toy.  
  
"Shut up! What would you know!" Arteon slammed the wall in frustration, his wispy auburn hair flocking over his forehead.  
  
What would you know? You don't even know why you are here, or why I'm in your head, how could you solve a problem as difficult as love?  
  
"I know why I'm here -" Arteon growled, tempering his anger as he seethed into a forced lapse, his eyes staring blankly at the cobblestone street far below him, at all the people wandering and all of the noise and smells that he did not notice or care for. He knew enough, he knew that somehow he was Kuja's better half, some twisted fate that doomed the man to a fruitless existence. All Arteon knew was that he was reason that either of the two was alive, his forceful will to live for love, and he also knew that he was the only obstacle that held Kuja back from his destructive path, his inevitable fate. "I'm here to stop you; fate has provided this world with a savior."  
  
Hah, some savior - you won't even come out of hiding, tell the people you know that you're back to save the world. Why not, Arteon? Are you scared, maybe? Scared that they won't accept you, scared that...nobody loves you? That's all you are, after all, a confused lover. You couldn't survive if there was nothing to fuel your...fire, you would die and I would take over again.  
  
Arteon gritted his teeth and tried to ignore the voice in his head, wishing with all his might that it would go away, that somehow he could run away to some part of the world where no one knew that the person that lived in his body beforehand was the merciless killer of thousands of innocents. But that was impossible...there was no getting around who he was, he just had to face it.  
  
By the way, Art, I never got to ask. Was it a lot of fun that night in the theatre? You two seemed to have a blast after you seduced her. Ah, but whatever will my brother think when he finds out?  
  
"Just go away..." Arteon muttered for what felt like the thousandth time, his eyes boring into the ancient stone beneath him, willing them to melt away and take him to hell where he belonged. It was never very convenient to have someone hanging around who knew everything about him. "It was an accident...I hadn't seen her in so long..."  
  
Yes, and quite a fine piece she is nowadays, a real melt-in-your- mouth beauty, eh?  
  
Would smashing his head open kill him or the voice inside first? "What do you care, you rejected her, that's why I'm here."  
  
Yes...quite. So what do you plan to do now, lover boy? Are you going to apologize to her, or to Zidane, or to no one? I'm really dying to see what a savior of this world would do.  
  
"I'm going to..." Arteon faltered, drawing himself up from the windowsill, "I'm going to..." He didn't know, he honestly didn't know, and that hurt him...hurt him almost as much as the look in Mera's eyes..."I will..." He closed his eyes with a sigh.  
  
--  
  
"Tonight..." The word moved through Zidane's dark mind like a lantern, trying to find some outlet. Foggily he wondered if he had actually heard the word spoken aloud, or if it was some sort of dream or memory. 'A lot of weird stuff happening to me lately, I wouldn't doubt it's just my imagination...' He thought, rolling around in the darkness.  
  
The darkness changed to blinding light, and he forced his eyes to shut. A shadow moved across his vision, the sound of wind brushing stone flew in and then swept the sheets around him as he slowly woke to find that it was all actually happening. For a brief moment he lost the exact where and when and how of everything, lost in the darkness of sleep, and then one comforting thought came back to him. She loves me.  
  
With it flooded in a whole cascade of memories and feelings from the night before, every detail and movement sketched deeply in his mind, he would never forget, and he would never doubt her again. There was no reason to doubt or to ever cry again, because life was so beautiful!  
  
He opened his eyes and took a quick look around the room that he had lived in for the best three years of his life. Nothing had changed, there were still the strong stone walls and the excessive finery, the huge window that stood near the center of the room stood open, the probably cause of the wind, and Garnet was standing near it, a wispy nightgown flapping vigorously around her. As he stared at her, she turned to grab his glance and hold it in those huge luminous eyes, and then she smiled happily. Sincerely and beautifully happy. "Good morning."  
  
"Good morning, dear." He yawned and shook his limbs to return the life to them, the action also bringing back who he was and who he was supposed to be. "I was just busy having the best dream about you."  
  
"Really?" She grinned over at him before moving to her vast wardrobe, languidly flipping through dresses to wear for the day.  
  
"Yes, maybe we can reenact it sometime soon, you are liable to do the most devious things in my dreams you know."  
  
Garnet blushed modestly and moved back toward him, lifting her nightdress over her head fluently as she prepared to dress, "Oh stop, you know it's all probably happened before...now you'd better get dressed and ready, you'll be required to make an appearance at the courts today, and I'd like to have breakfast before we leave. Are you hungry?"  
  
"Starving." Zidane jumped out of bed and rushed to her side before she could continue dressing, giving her a swift kiss on the lips, "Why, this looks absolutely delicious," He grabbed one of her plentiful breasts and tenderly curled his fingers around it, stooping to give it a quick lick, "Mmm, did you make this yourself? Why I believe I'll have two!"  
  
"Zidane!" Garnet wailed as best as she could through her giggles, "Look the window is open someone could see us!"  
  
"Could they?" Zidane laughed, his overwhelming affection leaving him quite a bit giddy in the head. Gently he hoisted Garnet up into his arms and carried her over to the window, following through with a heavy kiss that took his breath away. When he was quite finished he followed up breathlessly, "Let them see that I have the best woman alive."  
  
"Zidane..." Garnet sighed and stared up at him. And then he let her slowly down to the ground, his hands lingering on her delicate shoulders for a long moment, as if his strength alone was all that was holding her together.  
  
But the awkward moment passed and they both smiled again, Garnet raising on her tiptoes to kiss Zidane tenderly on the forehead before continuing to clothe herself. The wind carried a warm draft of morning air to float around them as Garnet spoke conversationally, "By the way, why I wanted you to come to the palace today was because there might actually be something for you and Steiner to do tonight."  
  
"Oh?" Zidane spoke with believable disinterest.  
  
"Yes, there is some religious rally scheduled tonight in the Third Market sector, some radical cult so some of the counselors are afraid that it could get violent...which means you might have to go patrol."  
  
Zidane's expression brightened as he dug through his oversized wardrobe for some decent pants and a shirt. A religious event would be entertaining, even if he had basically given up his search for the god...the voice in his head told him about. Zidane almost laughed - now the whole thing sounded ridiculous. "Alright I'll go - might me a little more exciting than being by myself."  
  
Garnet caught the whining tone and turned to look at him, licking her lips, "Don't worry then, I'm sure I can think of something entertaining for us to do tonight..."  
  
That was more than enough inspiration for Zidane to dress and rush out the door, with a few more passionate exchanges with his wife of course. Yes, church patrol sounded a lot like heaven.  
  
--  
  
Steiner had often heard from idle chat that the lingering minutes left after sex, when the deed is done and silence falls, would always tell him what he truly felt for that other person. For some there was a hollow, painful ache, as if they had just thrown away everything they had for nothing and only recently realized it. For others there is the bittersweet pain of love, the urge to pull the woman to him and never let her go, knowing that such a thing isn't possible.  
  
Steiner just felt the way he always felt. Confused. And since that was what he was used to, it didn't seem to matter that much - he simply rolled over and fitfully found his way to the land of dreams. But the land of dreams was far from comforting - in it swam the armies of questions and doubts that he fought daily. His orders, his duties, his love and freedom, all raging around in his mind, twisting and coiling around into a hissing brew of nightmare. Some of them called on him; compelled him to do something. Brahne and Andrew, Garnet, Beatrix, Zidane.they all swirled around and around and around until they finally merged into one shadowy form, one blurry face. Suddenly Steiner felt warm, his skin tingled as he stared into eyes that seemed distant yet felt very familiar. A hand reached out to him, welcoming him.no commanding him, ordering him to do something! Something he didn't want to do! He wouldn't do it! He wouldn't!  
  
"Stupid boy!"  
  
The dark face vanished and was replaced by a swelling light that tickled his eyelids. Hastily he raised a bare arm to shield himself from the light, reaching down to pull his woolen covers up over him.  
  
"Come on you big baby, get up already!" Steiner peeked up through a squinting eyelid at the beautiful feminine figure standing over him, and all the sudden an overwhelming sense of gratitude swept over him. There stood Beatrix, all ready for her day in her white satin tunic and crimson cloak, her heavy defender sword swinging freely at her side from a leather scabbard. Her dark hair spilled all around her, doused in some perfume that tickled Steiner's senses, making him long for the night again. The night? Steiner's mind was suddenly tumbling around once again, different emotions agreeing never to make sense. What would happen when the night came - would the same ritual repeat over and over again - would there be progression, could he take the strain of never being sure? Did he love her?  
  
Yes. "Thank you." Steiner took her hand and pulled himself from the bed, repeating his answer firmly in his head. Yes he did love her! And then he remembered that he was completely naked, and with a yelp he pulled the sheets up around him, earning a hearty laugh from Beatrix.  
  
"Thank me for what? And what are you so scared about, you big idiot, tired of impressing me with those muscles, eh?" Beatrix ran her hand across his arm with another laugh, then turned toward the door, "Come on, you have to get dressed, the council is meeting early today to reach a decision on these religion zealots and their revival tonight. If everything goes well, the army might actually get some action!"  
  
Steiner sighed and reached for his clothing - the idea of fighting didn't excite him, especially if it meant restraining and possibly injuring unarmed civilians. But if he was ordered to...his thought processes paused for a long time as he worked that one out - if he was ordered to...then he would. Of course.  
  
--  
  
Blank walked the rough cobblestones pensively toward the airship docks, arguing with his mind the whole way. In some part of him he felt that this was the last time he might ever see a very attractive woman that he seemed to have some sort of special connection with. Another half of him accepted the fact that she didn't like him at all and it would probably be good for him to just leave her behind and start up his life again. His life, the gambler and the drinker and the loner all mixed up into a big ball of sadness.  
  
He didn't want to go back to that, but somehow he knew that would be good for him and good for everyone else. Kazal was far enough away so that he would never bother anyone...that was depressing. Blank sighed and searched his pocket for a coin he could play with, trying to guide his thoughts to happier plains. Of course going back to Kazal wasn't all bad - there were probably...new beers that he'd never tasted before...and he could become rich and live in a mansion all by himself with servants and admirers...  
  
Perhaps it was his imagination but for some reason he imagined that she would be upset with him for giving up so easily. After all, he just walked in on her naked; surely they were still on good terms... "Nope, doesn't matter." Blank grumbled and hoisted his coin high at the glaring sun, "I'm leaving!"  
  
The coin exploded into an array of colorful fireworks, earning a yelp from Blank as he jumped back a pace, looking around for his attacker. And there was Vivi; standing in a dark doorway with...what Blank could only imagine was a smug smile on his face. "What's your damn problem, kid?" Blank berated the black mage as he regained his composure, "I was thinking!"  
  
Vivi shrugged innocently, "I thought maybe it would cheer you up!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah...sneaky little bastard." Blank muttered, ambling up to the diminutive mage, looking dangerously childish in his oversized blue robes and floppy brown hat. Looks could be very deceptive, seeing as the kid was probably the greatest mage Blank had ever known. But then again, Vivi was half-harmless; he was much too nice to ever take advantage of his full potential. "So kid, where'd you hide your family? I thought they'd be out here with you, stumbling around and standing out as much as possible, you know?"  
  
Vivi sniffed, he had long since been ignoring people who teased him about his clumsy behavior, "I took them home. I'm gonna go back to Dali as soon as I go tell Zidane and Garnet goodbye." The 'kid' had always had a strong attachment to Zidane, and Blank couldn't blame him. Zidane had that strange way of making everyone feel attracted to him, even if they had nothing in common. Maybe that was why Baku had taken in the little punk, instead of making him fend for himself. Blank of course, always had to earn what he got...not that he resented it, it made a man much stronger to work for his life, work for his women...  
  
"Well when you see them tell them that I'm leaving too - I've got a ship to catch, cards to deal, you know how it is...busy life."  
  
"Yeah." Vivi nodded eagerly, "The harvest is waiting back at home. I need to get the kumai before it gets too ripe."  
  
Hmph, damn kid trying to impress him with his farming crap. "Good luck then, I'm outta here."  
  
"Where are you off to?" A strong, melodic voice sounded from behind him, a voice that could only belong to Zidane. Blank turned with a deep sigh and a fake grin to look at the lucky husband of a queen, standing loosely in a swath of regal garb.  
  
"Oh, hey bro. I was just telling the kid how I've got work to do at home. I've got to get going, the airship is leaving in just a few minutes." Truthfully it probably wasn't going anywhere, but he would rather walk back to Kazal then be surrounded by the over-compassionate bastards for another minute.  
  
Zidane frowned deeply and glanced over at Vivi, who shrugged up at him with a smile. The genome kneaded his forehead for a moment before speaking, "Well...I don't know how to ask you this...but can you stick around for just one more day - do me a favor? You too, Vivi."  
  
"Well I don't know," Blank shook his head slowly, "Vivi is a busy man with the harvest and all, he's got a family to tend to and windmills to guard, and all of that thrown together could take upwards of a lifetime...it's probably not a good time you know-"  
  
"I can stay, Zidane. What do you need me for?" Vivi squinted his beady eyes as he stepped from the shadows into the bright autumn glare falling on the main street of Alexandria.  
  
"Great!" Zidane took a few steps toward Vivi, motioning with his fingers for Blank to come closer as he whispered in a royally confidential tone, "There's a rally tonight, it's those Followers of the Deliverer, the religious radicals. The council met today and decided, from what our informants have told us, that the radicals could be possibly dangerous, so we're setting up some posts tonight, just in case."  
  
"That sounds horribly interesting-"  
  
"I wouldn't ask," Zidane rolled smoothly over Blank's millionth excuse, "but I really don't trust all of these new soldiers Beatrix has been training - they're all young and inexperienced, I'm not sure what they would do if something really happened. Steiner and Beatrix are going to help me, and maybe Marcus too, but it would be great if you guys could stick around too, just in case and all...it might even be fun."  
  
"I heard that there's going to be a big tournament in Kazal tonight, and I really don't want to-"  
  
"At the very least we could just sit around the fire and drink a while, talk about old times or something..." Zidane's eyes shone brightly as he looked from Blank to Vivi and back again, "I haven't had much time to talk to my friends lately and there's a lot to talk about."  
  
Dammit! It was completely unfair how sickeningly charismatic Zidane was. Blank petulantly muttered something about being able to spare a couple more hours, even if it did mean losing thousands of Gil, and of course Vivi eagerly agreed to do anything for Zidane. Of course it was very possible that Blank genuinely would have fun - especially if beer was involved, but it was the variable of staying one more day that irked him. After all...everything could go wrong in just one day - but then again, what did he know?  
  
Stay or leave  
  
I want you not to go but you should  
It was good as good goes,  
Stay or leave  
I want you not to go but you did...  
Stay or Leave - Dave Matthews 


	9. How Selfish Love Can Be

A peaceful lull had fallen over the city of Alexandria, the revelries and celebrations fading away, leaving the monotony of everyday life behind. A huge congregation of traveling carts and wagons had left in the mid afternoon, traveling together for safety from any devious bandits they might encounter. A host of private airship had departed soon after, heading back to whatever towns or cities that they had come from. The absence of tourists made Alexandria feel quite empty by comparison – the city had abandoned her day it seemed; leaving it on a pedestal of reminiscence. 

Amidst the throng of people leaving, few noticed the few that had come as the sun began to sink to her wistful bed. Emryal stood in the dilapidated wreckage of an ancient church, examining his surroundings as he waited for his partners in crime.

It was amusing, he noted as he ran his hand across the rotting carcass of what had once been an altar, amusing what he had discovered while searching out of sheer boredom. The church had been the first building constructed at the lake over the waterfall. The first Alexandrians spent countless miserable years trying to escape their treacherous existence in the Evil Forest, before they finally escaped to the bountiful cliffs above. The great Alexandrian plain offered plentiful food and resources, a perfect peaceful residence. Thus, when Alexandria had been formed, the first building was a church dedicated to their 'god', Alexander, who was credited with their fortune. Of course it was plain to see who was credited now, the church abandoned and the god forgotten.

Emryal grinned – that was how the humans seemed to be, that's how the gods were. The humans needed them, of course, a crutch to lean on when things weren't going quite their way; but when they were doing well it was simply an extra expense they couldn't afford; a day wasted on worshipping a god they no longer required or cared about. Yes the Vega were gods, beings separated from humanity – but who served whom? What a wretched hypocrisy. 

There was a clattering of stones and Emryal looked up to see the first of his soldiers slink in, his had down as he gave an indiscriminate jerk of his arm toward his commander. The squadron had flown in all together from Tialtor, but it was necessary to enter the city one by one lest they arouse suspicion. After all, five men who looked completely identical might arouse moderate suspicion, especially since the men looked so formidable with their death white skin and blood red hair. So they used caution, at least for the present – no sense clueing the humans in before the final move was made.

"How is everything, Alc Tzai?" The soft voice came from behind him and Emryal cringed in anger. He didn't have to turn, he knew what was there – the black haired Ellian, cloaked in the swirling bubbles and sparks of magic, his eyes smiling at the world he always found so amusing. Menoth.

"What are you doing here, great Ruc Tzai?" Emryal made certain that his sarcasm was not masked, "I thought you were aware that _I _was going to handle this situation." 

     Menoth took a step forward, his hand straying to touch the ancient altar, "Interesting choice, Emryal...truth be told, I was bored of sitting around – so I decided to come down and have a little fun."

     Something about that irked Emryal. Something about how Menoth tried so hard not to be a normal Ellian – Ellians accepted everything at face value and did not try to change plans at the last second or do anything stupid…which was something that Menoth always did. Naturally, how else had Menoth become the Ruc Tzai than straying away from his duties and starting a rebellion against the current leaders? Menoth called himself a thinker...no; he was merely an idiot. "Well have all the fun you like, just stay out of my way."

--

     The brusque wind whirled around Blank's body like the thoughts around his mind, freezing him into a sedentary state. Fortunately the landscape was still enough to accommodate him: a desolate street corner, lit by the warm glow of a street torch and by the dim glow of Vivi's eyes. On this corner, or more specifically on this _side _of the corner, there was almost no movement. On the other side of the corner, however, bedlam reigned. Hundreds of people gathered in the great Eagle Square, hundreds were religious fanatics trying to scream the truth at the top of their lungs. Others were vagrants and lower class workers, trying to find a truth great enough to fill their hollow, meaningless lives. The rest of the crowd were comprised of the rich, middle class, and the tourists; people who had absolutely nothing better to do than to watch others cry out in pain.

     It was sort of sad...Blank scratched the side of his neck uncomfortably. Apparently it wasn't good enough that the royal party: Zidane, Vivi, Steiner, Beatrix, Marcus, a few low-ranking soldiers and himself were hiding like rats clinging to a dark wall, but they had to dress like rats as well. Beatrix said it was because any halfway observant citizen would be able to spot one of the military leaders of the city a mile away, call a warning, and the meeting would probably disperse. Blank thought that was awfully paranoid...but then again, hiding in the dark listening to religious conspirators was mighty paranoid as well... Maybe it was time for Blank to get some new friends.

     Resigning himself to the moment, Blank slid down to a sitting position against the cold wall, lifting a half-filled bottle of whisky as a brace. At least the night wouldn't be cold much longer. Happily he lifted the bottle in a toast to the circle around him...then slowly realized that no one was paying any attention to him. With a shrug he touched the glass to his lips, "Here's to friendship."

     "Blank..." Blank turned his head ever so slightly to accept Zidane's fatherly glance, "Try to stay at least halfway sober, please?"

     Blank took careful pains to empty exactly half of the contents of the bottle as slowly as he could, and then gently dropped the remaining treasure into his lap, "And could you please tell me...why the _hell _I should do that?"

     "Blank." Marcus grunted a warning, but Blank shrugged him away.

     Zidane's eyes flickered slightly, which made Blank grin. At least this proved to some extent that he did know Zidane – at least he knew how to piss him off. But Zidane's answer was very patient, very calm, "Because this is important – these religious fanatics could be dangerous and we need to know what we're up against...if they're going to start anything."

     Blank eyed the bottle in his lap, gauged the burning in his stomach, and decided he was up for another swig. "For starters this isn't my city," He lifted the bottle and paused, "So it's not really my problem – I'm here as a friend and that's it...besides, I'm not going to get any royal favors tonight...so the best I can look forward to is waking up tomorrow not remembering what happened tonight because I am going to be _so _fucking drunk!" And with that he raised the bottle once again to his lips – not before noticing the eyes of the entire group turning towards him – Zidane's the loudest of all. 

     "Does it bother you that much?" Zidane fought to maintain a quiet voice, though his anger was left unbridled in the low growl, "I wasn't aware that there was a rule in our friendship that denied me the right to marry a queen!"

     "Zidane..." It was now Steiner's turn to try to calm down the genome. But the war had already started – Blank wasn't sure what had snapped, but whatever had been there was gone, and all that was left was heavy resentment. And of course in typical Blank fashion, he couldn't be tactful enough to keep his mouth shut.

     "Don't worry about it Steiner, it's pretty impossible to hurt my feelings." Blank rose slowly to his feet and waved his finger imperiously in Zidane's face, "And to answer your question, I don't know why it bothers me so much man. You know...it's not like I would have gotten any, it's not like Garnet's ever even looked at me! But advice to a _friend, _maybe you could stop making it so painfully obvious that you have the best thing in the whole damn world, because some of us don't have it, Zidane, some of us don't have shit." 

     No one said anything, so Blank decided to continue, "I mean sure you can bounce around every day laughing at every situation, no matter how bad it is. Hell you can grin as you fight the gods, because Garnet loves you – because there's a party going on in the royal palace every night and everyone knows it. Sure, I don't blame you for an ass full of optimism but...Zidane...your good luck doesn't mean anything to anyone. It doesn't mean anything to me...I need something stronger than 'well my friend is happy so I should be happy'..."

     The dim roar of the crowd behind him suddenly grew incredibly loud, and with the noise a crushing sorrow pushed over him. Blank didn't know why he had said that, why he had lashed out at his friend. It wasn't Zidane's fault that his life was empty...Zidane had never been anything but good. And for some reason..._that_ was what Blank hated about him. 

     A long sigh tore through Blank's body and he dropped back to the hard stone street again, waving his hands in the air, "I'm sorry...no hard feelings or anything, bro. I just don't see a point right now. I've never won a game yet...I don't even have a reason to live – except for her." He motioned to the bottle in his hand, and then as if remembering he took a heavy swig, the burning that coursed through him again calming him down...pacifying him...just a few more drinks...

     "No hard feelings." Blank peered up and saw that Zidane was smiling sympathetically, his eyes peering concernedly at Blank as he crouched against the wall. "I understand, Blank."

     A twinge of hate pricked Blank once again, and he lowered his gaze, "Stop being the hero, Zidane. The war's over – we all have to live our lives...so stop caring and understanding and wanting to help, because it's not fixing anyone."

     "I can't help it!" Zidane yelled, his fist grinding against the ground beneath him in frustration. 

     "Silence!" The awkward discussion was broken suddenly as Beatrix turned from her vantagepoint with a hiss. "You two are going to have to spill blood later, because we have something more important to attend to now!" She leapt back to press against the wall with the rest of the dumb-stricken party as she explained, "I think the priest is about to begin."

--

     A quiet tap on the door sent Garnet into a frenzied flutter of emotions. She tentatively approached the door, busily brushing at the simple white silk dress with a golden lace collar that she had chosen for the meeting. How should she answer the door? Garnet hesitated nervously; she didn't want to be too excited to see him. That might give him the wrong impression of why he was there. In fact she probably shouldn't be meeting him in her room anyway – someone might see and spread some sort of dark rumor. Not that it would matter but something like that would be very detrimental if Zidane heard it – Zidane had the great tendency to be a jealous husband. 

     In fact, why was she seeing this strange man again? Her fingers paused momentarily on the doorknob; leaving the path open for a hurried second-guessing. Kain...the man was rugged and simple on the outside, perhaps a little coarse and clumsy. But something in his eyes grabbed at her soul – like some dark secret that was just waiting to be ripped out. She felt some connection to him that she didn't understand, even after just seeing him once. And if there was one thing Garnet could never except it was some one keeping a secret from her. Her hand grasped the doorknob confidently as she pasted a bright smile on to her face – ready to unmask all secrets no matter what the cost.

     "Hello--!" All the prying questions and false innocence fell from her mind like a storm of feathers. Kuja stood at the door, his shadowed form glowing black in the dark hallway. His violet eyes glowed intensely into hers as he held his hand out, extending his offering: a lone black rose.

     "I love you." He murmured, lowering his head so the dark wreath of hair tumbled across his eyes – breaking their seductive spell on Garnet. Garnet reeled back as if he were the devil himself.

     "Go away Kuja! I don't want you anymore – I _can't _want you Kuja – please!"

     "Arteon."

     Fury flushed through her form, and she impulsively lashed out, striking his cheek heavily with the meat of her palm. "I don't care what you want to call yourself – it doesn't change who you are. It doesn't change what I am."

     Kuja raised his head – his pale skin now blushing from the blow she had struck. His eyes swept down to lock into hers once more, and in those eyes Garnet could feel intense sorrow – the same sorrow she had felt in Zidane just one night before. Kuja was lost and helpless – and it was because of her.

     "I..." Kuja stopped and swallowed and for the first time Garnet heard hoarseness in his voice – caught some frail glimpse of humanity within him. "I sat all day and tried to think of ways to reach you. I walked the streets, your streets, bustling in their emptiness – empty because you were not there to grace them. I caressed the stones of this never-ending day with flighty fingers and flowery words – the whims of a lunatic conqueror hallucinating of a glorious day of victory. It's true you know, somewhere deep in my hollow mind I understand your words, the futility of my struggle for your affection."

     Kuja took a halting step forward, "But mere awareness cannot raise the end of this tortured struggle for true identity. This flame of my love is an unquenchable one – it burns regardless of the lack of fuel that it receives. No matter what it will just keep burning and burning until I am a scorched pile of ash lying beneath your feet. But a scorched pile of ash beneath your feet is what and where I want to be, because my only purpose in this strange, melancholy existence is to love you."

     'He's trying to make me lose myself'. Garnet bit her lip and tried not to stare him straight in the eye – tried not to listen to the words that tingled at her heartstrings. 'He's trying to make me emotional so I'll fall for whatever trap he's setting. He's using me and I'm very well aware of that and I'm strong enough to resist. I'm the Queen and he's nothing – there's no reason that he should have any hold over me.'

     "Mera..." Kuja's voice was now just a ragged whisper as he stepped across the threshold into the room, taking her shoulders gently in his strong, thin hands. "The only reason I am alive in this world is because I love you, and because I have felt you love me before. Those words, your words, still fuel my fire. Your words burn inside me and sustain me. Please – please! Love me or kill me, begin me or end me! My heart is too fragile to wander these crossroads any longer. I...I...can't take it!"

     And the great warlord, the almighty powerful Kuja, began to cry. It began as a quiet, restrained sob but quickly grew until his whole body was wracked in sorrow and tears poured from his eyes. He swiftly drew a hand up to cover his face, raising his other hand to the doorframe for support. The black rose tumbled forgotten to the ground.

     "Kuja...I mean Arteon...I..." Garnet reached forward to take his hand, trying to look up into his eyes – but he squeezed them shut in shame. "I..." She desperately searched for a way to reach him, to make him stop. Every sob that left him echoed through her and pierced her soul and she didn't know why. She didn't understand. "I..." 'Stop, stop, stop! Stay in control – don't let him get to you!' "I..." The room started spinning around her, she couldn't see...

     "I'm not sure..."

--

     "Brothers and Sisters, I thank you and welcome you all hear tonight to witness the unleashing of the New World! The New World of Truth, Justice and Light! The New World of the Deliverer!" A hearty cheer ran through the crowd as the white robed figure, obviously the head priest of some sort, spoke the opening words to the mob. Zidane crouched with his head resting awkwardly against the rough stone of a bakery wall, listening with little interest. He had actually cared about all of this a few hours ago, about this new religion and new god and about protecting the city and everything. And suddenly it was as if Blank had knocked all of his motives and desires straight out of him. He didn't really feel sorry for Blank – the man was just a pathetic drunk who couldn't get laid so he blamed others. He didn't even have that close of a relationship with Blank – they had always been tied together through Tantalus but it wasn't as if they were best friends or anything... Yet somehow he felt guilty – hurt, whatever. Somewhere inside he felt like he had been neglecting something. Had he really been gloating over Garnet like his prize? Did it really look that way to others?

     "Zidane..." Steiner whispered somewhere nearby, "Don't worry about what he said – he didn't mean it." Yeah, that made him feel a whole lot better. Blank did mean it – if Zidane had learned anything through knowing him for so long it was that the man was painfully honest. But why the hell was he tearing himself up over it – why did he give a shit about another man's life – and what the hell could he even do to help? Nothing. 'Calm down and listen to the goddamn show.' He told himself.

     "I am very blessed to be here tonight to tell you that the world is very soon to experience a change. Yes, much has changed in the past years – many great and wonderful things have happened, but that is all but a blink of an eye compared to the wondrous events that will soon transpire." Zidane snorted at that. This man had a lot of nerve calling the War of the Worlds a 'blink of an eye' – he didn't have to fight in it. 

     "There is much danger to come I'm afraid, much death and destruction. But we must not lose hope or faith, for the greatest reward will be coming very soon. According to the prophecies, the Savior of the World will follow in the wake of the destruction and in the fist of his mighty hand the world shall be rebuilt and his followers shall be redeemed. Those who believe in him and his deliverance shall become kings on this new and glorious earth! There will no pain or suffering there, no tears or doubt, for all that has been corrupted and destroyed in this world shall be perfected in the other."

     "This is all just a load of bullshit." Zidane mumbled to no one in particular, his head beginning to ache from its uncomfortable position.

     "Yes," Beatrix agreed from somewhere in the darkness, "But what's the catch." What was the catch? The spies huddled in the dank darkness and waited to find out as the Priest began again after the mild arousal of cheers his latest proclamation had gleaned.

     "However none of this grandiose hopes and dreams may become realities until the prophecies have been fulfilled. Our loving God, holy savior knows that we will not be ready for the glory beyond unless we can accept the chastisement for our sins in this present world. And who among us has not felt the hardships of this present world – felt the constant stress of living with the endless threat of death looming over our heads?" The Priest left the question to hang over the heads of his massive audience. Zidane was still caught in the concept of this new loving God. He thought he understood the question now – but now he knew that all of the pondering and questioning he had buried himself in for the past few days was wasted. He didn't believe in this god – he _knew _he didn't. So what the hell did it all mean?

     "Who has not felt the hardships of this life? I can answer that question in one word. Royalty. The fat, rich slugs who sit in their palaces and suck up the wealth that we work hard to provide. Always looming above and telling us what to do because they are worth our weight in gold – never questioned because we are not taught or educated enough to know how to question. My brethren I am here to tell you that this is a disgrace! A disgrace to humanity and a disgrace to our god!" Suddenly everyone in the group of spies realized the new and potentially dangerous implications of the words that had just been spoken.

     Blank voiced them. "Regent Cid and his family are still in the docks...if this crowd turns into a mob they could be in danger." 'And Garnet.' Zidane added the assumed in his own thoughts, a wave of frozen fear washing over him. Had Beatrix been right – was this night going to turn out as dark as she had imagined?

     "The Prophecies State that before our Savior can return to claim this earth that all of the Kings and Queens of the Old World must die. Brethren, I urge you this night to act upon your newfound beliefs. There is a New World that lies before us – free from the bonds of tyranny and oppression that we feel now. Reach for it now! Rise with me tonight, and help me strike off the foul snake's head!" A roar of approval rang through the night – and suddenly the still streets pulsed into a new action.

     Beatrix was not one to be left in the dust, "Steiner, Marcus! Help me rouse the rest of the guards – we have to suppress this crowd before it turns into a full-blown riot! Zidane, Vivi – you two take ten soldiers and make sure the castle perimeter is secure! Blank—Blank?"

     But Blank was already gone.

     And the night had begun.

--

     But Garnet knew nothing of her foulness at being the snake's head. She knew nothing of the boiling mob or the imminent danger that could possibly put her life in jeopardy. At the moment the proclamation was raised, nothing was further from her mind. All that she could think about was Kuja and that desperate aching in her heart that she could not explain or identify. 'This is wrong.' She told herself as her elegant, trembling fingers traced the muscular cords of Kuja's chest. 'This is so wrong.' She felt his fingers tickling at her skin as he urged the straps of her dress away – felt his lips heavy against the sensitive nape of her neck. She gasped. 'It's so...wrong.' But increasingly erotic in its wrongness, blindingly ethereal in its darkness – so wrong that it felt right. 

     'But I don't love Kuja...this isn't Zidane, it's Kuja! You're making love to Kuja!' "Kuja..." She whispered his name breathlessly, preparing to tell him to stop – that they should slow down and just be friends, that somehow they could work it out without compromising her position and outstanding relationships. But the name sounded so good on her lips, felt right. Kuja... Like a chaotic choir of bells that was so discordant it was melodic. "Kuja..." The reserve and resistance fluttered one last glorious time, then was lost completely in the swirling spiral of enchanting calamity that is blind lust. "I'll never be able to call you Arteon..."

     A deep chuckle emerged from his lips as he relinquished his hold on her neck and finished sliding her gown to the floor. "I don't mind." Eagerly he teased and caressed her, gentle and firm, sending waves of intoxicating pleasure shuddering through her form. She fought to hold in a deep moan but it refused to be ordered around so instead she stifled it on Kuja's shoulder.

     "I don't understand..." She gasped, trying to solidify the swirling world against Kuja's chest, "What is this I feel for you...why am I letting my-ahh – stop it! Why am I letting you do this?"

     "It's because you love me." Kuja explained with a smile and a kiss, then continued in the forbidden activity. Garnet swept his hand away with a giggle,

     "No I don't love you, I can't love you – that's what I don't understand..." She sighed deeply, then laughed it away, pressing her face up to Kuja's in a passionate kiss. One that he did not return. Slowly she pulled away, taking his hand in hers with another giddy laugh, "Oh don't give me that look...oh fine – here I'll let you touch me."

     Slowly she guided his hand, still earning no reaction from its owner. Quickly her euphoria turned into frustration and she let his hand fall, "What the hell is wrong with you? I thought this is what you wanted!"

     "No." Kuja reached up to smooth his shirt, averting his eyes in a sudden show of mixed modesty and disdain, "I wanted you to love me. Animalistic behavior is not required or desired, but I desire and require your love. I need your heart – your soul, not your body."

     Suddenly not only was Garnet immensely confused, but she was also embarrassed and infuriated. 'See it was wrong – it was stupid!' The regal side of her gloated and the woman side of her told the regal side to shut the hell up while she stalked naked and graceful to her wardrobe and pulled out a robe that she threw around her shoulders. Thus dignified she found the confidence to reply smugly, "Well then you can't have anything – I'm sorry."

     "Mera..."

     Dignity bubbled over to impulsive childishness as she closed her eyes and screamed, "I'm not Mera anymore! Not for you or anyone! I'm not _your _Mera!"

     Silence surrounded her, and suddenly – even in the intense moment of embarrassment and confusion – she felt extremely proud of herself. Then she opened her eyes...the door to the outer courtyards was open – Kuja was gone.

     And Kain was standing in the doorway, his mouth hanging slightly open in a rather stupid, shocked expression.

--

     "Halt in the name of the Queen!" It is always amazing to see how decisive people can be when they think no one is listening; yet when people are around they aren't even sure who they are. Such was the case when Beatrix stepped into the middle of the mob, pulling off the ragged fragments of clothing that concealed her elegant Alexandrian uniform. Her voice was loud and clear, ringing with the strong leadership that Steiner had always loved her for. Strong leadership that everyone could recognize – even the simpletons roaming aimlessly through the crowd, most of them not sure whether to raise or lower the pitiful assortment of weapons they had collected.

     Steiner and Marcus walked close behind, their own swords out and armor revealed, and behind them followed what small group of soldiers they had been able to collect in the short amount of time. Even though they were outnumbered at least twenty to one, Steiner noted very calmly that most of the motley riffraff that faced them probably wouldn't even have the nerve to raise a sword, and the rest probably didn't even know how to use one. What had appeared to be a dangerous situation was turning very quickly into something that they would probably be able to laugh about...

     Then the rest of the crowd parted and it seemed that somehow had suddenly decided to turn on the sun in the middle of the misty night. Steiner raised a hand to squint at a solid line of shining, white steel breastplates, accompanied by a complementing suit of white armor. Scores of the white knights stood there, a blazing torch in one mailed hand and a glimmering sword (heavy enough for Steiner to judge as a bastard sword) in the other. And just as suddenly any thought of laughing was banished from Steiner's mind.

     By now the night was very quiet. The mob was amassed in the Market Plaza now, not a hundred yards from the moat and the castle – looming tall and silent in the moonlight. Steiner and Marcus had noted small bands of the mob had broken off from the main group from time to time, but as far as they could follow, none of them had approached the castle. Being undermanned as they were, Beatrix had made the smart decision that they couldn't run off after every man who ran down the street – they had to go for the head.

     And the head came forth as they stood in the blunt silence – waves of white steel parting before his white robes. The priest who had started the uncomfortable situation, Steiner noted now that he could get a better look at him, really wasn't all that impressive. His head was bare and bald, his face too fat and too white, like his paunchy hands that peeked out from beneath his seamless white robe, both clutching tightly to a thin, brown leather-bound book. The only actual exciting feature of the old man were his black eyes which glared proud, sharp and intelligent at the small group that faced him. The fat face broke into a thin smile.

     "The Great Lady Beatrix, what a pleasant surprise. I did not expect you to interrupt us so soon." The voice was thick with some strange accent now, as if the priest was trying to mix the common speech with some older and more complicated. Beatrix dismissed it with a twitch of her eyebrow,

     "You must underestimate my greatness then. Now who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing?"

     The Priest's smile grew broader and thinner, "Very to the point, I like that. This is what you might call a 'purge', Lady Beatrix. The working people are tired of the oppressive reign of your beloved Queen. They would like a future – and so they are earning one for themselves." A roar of approval ran through the crowd and Steiner's fingers tightened instinctively on the hilt of his sword.

     "So somehow you are justifying this revolt with some religion you concocted...you are only making their lives harder – this riot will accomplish nothing. Do you really think your rabble can walk over the whole Alexandrian army?" Beatrix tactfully dismissed the hundred some armored men who surrounded the Priest in a professional, defensive formation. "And all that still doesn't explain who you are."

     An oppressive silence fell once again, heavy as the castle walls. Steiner could hear the soldiers across from him shifting their weapons restlessly, heard steel grating against steel. 'If a fight starts I'll grab Beatrix and fall back to the open street.' Steiner decided in the still. 'Life is more valuable then honor...hopefully Beatrix will forgive me later.'

     Finally the deadlock was broken as the Priest slowly changed his smirking smile to a grace-filled, benevolent one. "Lady Beatrix, I am the voice of God. You question my followers' ability to defeat you, but in so doing you question my God. Is anything impossible to God?" He stopped for a moment, then repeated himself, except louder and more forceful, "Is anything impossible to _our God?"_

     Instantly the soldiers that surrounded him roared out a reply, "Nothing." For only the third time Steiner wondered if they had underestimated the organization of this 'mob'. It seemed very likely, now that he really thought about it, that this rebellion had been planned for some weeks now. And it seemed that hundreds of the ordinary civilians that he spoke to every day had been in on it as well.

     "What kind of trap have we fallen into?" Steiner whispered quietly to no one in particular.

     _Strip Smile_

_     Lose Cool_

_     Bleed the Day_

_     Break the Rule_

_     Live to Win_

_     Dare to Fail_

_     Eat the Dirt_

_     Bite the Nail_

_     ...Then make me miss you._

_          Carpe Diem Baby – Metallica_


	10. Pride is the Deadliest Sin

Chapter Nine: Pride is the Deadliest Sin

     "It's not what you think." The words slipped out of Garnet's mouth naturally along with a modest blush as she stood in the doorway staring at Kain. 'Now he shows up.' She curled her robe more tightly around herself, then slowly beckoned for him to come inside, "Come on, I...umm...I just have a few questions I'd like to ask you."

     "Right, of course!" Kain stammered to a start, stumbling awkwardly into the room with a furious assortment of blushes and bobs. Apparently, despite his decidedly stupid appearance – he understood exactly what had transpired beforehand and it was running through his mind. Or at least he 'thought' he knew. 'I didn't do anything wrong!' Garnet reminded herself with a polite smile,

     "Thanks for coming." If he was thinking in the wrong direction already then it was entirely possible that he had a completely delusional idea about what the meeting was really about. It wasn't as if she was just sitting around her room handing out free love to anyone who happened to walk by – she was the Queen. Everything contained in her life was ruled by dignity and diplomacy. 

     So the fact that she was entertaining a strange man in her private chambers with nothing more than a flimsy robe on probably could be considered a compromising position. She blushed and turned around, hugging her robe tightly, "Uhm...Kain. Look, this meeting has nothing to do with us personally...us...as in a relationship between you and I. You do understand that, right?"

     "Of course, right! Yeah...sure, I know- wouldn't think anything else of it naturally...you're the queen and all – absolutely. Nothing, right." Kain bustled in clumsily and shut the door behind him, leaving him poised tensely against the frame, looking as guilty as a kid with his hand in a cookie jar. 

     Garnet forgave him easily; being the kind person that she was, and waved him toward the elegant purple plush love seat perched beside the open wall window. "That's fine. I'm just interested in your past...you look so...very familiar and I want to place you." That was basically it – that was basically the truth. Garnet didn't understand why she felt so incredibly attached or connected to Kain, but she sure as hell wanted to figure it out.

--

     It didn't take a genius to figure out that the crowd of ragged, armed miscreants massed at the entrance to the Alexandrian docks wasn't there for a party. But of course Blank was shitfaced – so it took him a while longer than the average deadbeat gambler to understand his dilemma. But it eventually sank in. But by then it was basically too late to do anything about it. 

     "Halt!" One man, standing off a little from the main group and obviously the appointed 'look out' hailed Blank. "Are you a friend of the Deliverer or foe?"

     'I shouldn't have drank so much...' Blank groaned to himself as he fumbled in his pocket for some form of excuse. What he found was his deck of cards. "I..." He mumbled, pulling a card from his deck and thrusting it in the lookout's face. "Well...ya see this...this card?" 

     "Yeah." The lookout growled back at him.

     "Well..." Blank looked at the card. It was the two of clubs. "Wursht card inna game, ya know?"

     "Yeah?" 

     "Yeah." Blank coughed and stuck the card back in his pocket, drawing his sword as a healthy alternative. "Gesh thadda mus' be your hand inna...in duh game o' life the-then, huh?"

     The lookout probably would have replied, but the sword that thrust itself forcibly through his throat probably impeded his speech. Before Blank had time to withdraw his sword the rest of the group - a good three score armed but inexperienced rioters – were alert and charging for him. "That was really stupid." Blank muttered to no one in particular, then swung his sword heavily at his first aggressor, throwing himself off balance from the weight of the blow. He tottered for a moment, then recovered – delivering a heavy kick to the first man's chest and sending the attacker crashing backwards into his allies.

     A few minutes discovered two important pieces of information for Blank. The first was that he was still somehow a decent fighter even while being completely incapacitated in most of the basic motor skills...like talking. The second was that being a decent fighter really didn't mean shit when you were trying to fight sixty guys at the same time. But suddenly in the middle of the drunken spree Blank realized that it didn't matter. Nothing really mattered...and he was almost positive it wasn't just the whiskey that was saying that. If he couldn't have a woman to love...if he couldn't have the woman he loved, then his life was meaningless. And if he could die protecting the life of the woman he loved...

"Hurry up and kill this bastard!" Some dark figure from the back of the mob yelled, "We need to grab the Regent and his family before Lord Eris gets pissed!" 

Blank held a fuzzy picture of Gabrielle in the bath in his mind – and with a childish grin on his face he plunged into the flood of enemies, twirling his sword with years of expertise – a whirlwind of doom. If he could die protecting the woman he loved then maybe he could feel all right about himself. Maybe he could feel like he was actually useful. 

--

     Alicia rushed to the deck of the Hilda Garde as soon as she heard the commotion of danger. Her mind a flurry with questions about the safety of her charge, she walked straight into the center of Cid barking instructions at the crewmembers.

     "Everyone armed and to your post, don't let anyone within twenty feet of this ship without the proper authentication!"

     A fight. The thought sickened Alicia – bruising all of her hopes for a restful night, restful trip. 'I don't get paid enough for this job!' She moaned to herself as she rushed up the stairs onto the flight deck, skirts in hand to avoid tripping, "What's going on Cid?"

     The brief flutter in Cid's eyes and odd clutching of Cid's hands probably wouldn't have meant anything to most people – but Alicia was used to reading his signs. He didn't want her to be there. The painful twinge of frustration hit her – she felt like screaming in his face, like slapping him over and over again – but their were more important matters at hand...like being a good tutor, a good servant to the household... Alicia glimpsed the flash of steel through a window, and strutted primly over to watch – stroking at her hair calmly as she asked again, "What's going on Cid?"

     This time he answered her. "There's some sort of riot going on in the streets. We have no way of knowing what is happening but a large group has blockaded the exit to the docks so...we're just sitting tight and waiting for them to move." Alicia looked out at the dozens of dirty men churning about in the twilight, grim faces and dark blades illuminated by the glow of torches. 'We should have left today...We should never have stayed...we should...'

     "What's that?" Alicia pointed out the window at a frenzied flash of steel just beyond the dock gate. "Can you see out there?" Cid and the crew all moved forward simultaneously, straining to spot what she was pointing out.

     "I don't see anything – what are you talking about?" Cid growled irritably. Alicia ignored him; she was staring at the form of a lone man that she could barely make out. A lone man who was facing what looked like a score of the rioters. A lone man who was facing them all by himself. A brief flood of pride washed over her – to think that someone could be so brave. 'He's trying to save us...'

     "He's trying to protect us!" She yelled, turning to face Cid, "He knows we're in danger and he's trying to protect us! You have to go help him!" 

     "What are you talking about? I can't even see what you're talking about – how can I send my men out their and risk their lives?" Cid put his head into his hand and blew into it, and Alicia could feel the frustration, feel the difficulty of making a decision and trying to be a good leader...

     "Please trust me." Alicia made one last final effort. Cid looked her in the eyes and shook his gray head, his eyes wandering back to the dim figures lingering outside the ship.

     "I can't."

     Alicia looked at him one final time, then turned on her heel and stalked down the deck, her mind settled firmly on the last option that she could see. "Then I'll trust myself."

--

     Zidane was panting slightly when he reached the outer courtyard of the palace, and his eyes examined the area thoroughly while he let his breath catch up with him. 'That's sad – I'm really getting out of shape.' He mused, relieved that from what he could see the marauders had not reached the castle yet.

     "Alright," Zidane turned to Vivi and the soldiers, "Stay here and guard the entrance, I'm going to go up and make sure Garnet is alright." The soldiers saluted in obeisance.

     'I've been slacking off.' Zidane thought as he ran up the stairs to his personal chambers. He used to do pushups and sit-ups and practice training swords with the rest of the soldiers. Now he just sort of sat around his apartment and acted official...went to all the parties, drank as much as he could without crossing the proper limit...dreamt of Garnet. 'Guess Blank is right...I'm not much a hero anymore...' But Blank also was drunk...

     A black blur brushed past Zidane on the stairwell and Zidane froze, feeling a chill seeping through his skin. Was that...no it couldn't be...

     _A blinding, acid rain had settled as he stepped out under the frozen sky. It was so dark... So cold, naked and alone beneath the leering sky. But somehow he knew it was alright...he knew he had won. Even though his arms felt so heavy..._

He was just seeing things...thinking things. Zidane shook his head, took a deep breath and charged up the stairs. What a strange night. 

     The sounds of muffled voices escorted his way to the royal chamber. The door was shut...Garnet was probably entertaining one of the royal advisors... Zidane approached the door then hesitated with his hand on the knob. He didn't recognize the voice that was speaking. Who was in the room with his wife?

     The man, definitely a man – a man with a deep, rich voice that sounded as timid as a mouse, was just finishing some sort of story, "That's as much as I can tell you, your highness...I know I'm not very interesting..." Was Garnet interrogating someone? Zidane almost laughed.

     "No, please." Garnet's voice rang through the door, "I'm so glad you were willing to do this for me. If you don't mind me saying so there's just something about you that sends chills through my spine, from the first time I saw you...I knew I had to find out more about you..." Hey wait a minute...Zidane shrank away from the door and pressed himself against the wall. Garnet had said the same thing about him! What the hell was going on in there?

     "My lady..." The man was saying again, but Garnet cut him off.

     "Come on now you're blushing, stop it. Don't look at me like that-oh..." Zidane heard Garnet giggle and then there was silence for a horribly long moment before Garnet spoke again, "Here." Zidane could hear the bed creak loudly, and then the man gasped,

     "My lady!"

     "Don't worry..." Garnet laughed again, "This is just my way of saying thank you." 

     Silence. Zidane slid slowly down the wall. He felt like his back was broken. The furious urge to rip down the door and beat the shit out of whoever was in there was suppressed by a growing feeling of overwhelming resignation. What the hell did it matter? What was he even doing there...oh yeah...rioters destroying the city...killing the nobles. 

     Zidane heard Garnet murmur something like 'It's not –that- big.' And the bed creaked again. Zidane felt tears spring unbidden to his eyes. Why...she was the Queen...she could do whatever the hell she wanted. But he still _loved _her. Why would she...how could she... Zidane dropped his head into his arms and the tears flowed freely.

     Engaged in his sorrowful occupation, Zidane didn't hear the activity within the closed room change until the door flew open with a faint rustle of oiled hinges, and there the man stood framed in the doorway. _The man...blushing like a baby, his huge, muscular figure looked bumbling and awkward as he stepped away from Garnet. Garnet, wearing a half-tied dressing robe and blushing quite a bit herself. Until she saw Zidane. She saw Zidane about a half second before the big man stumbled backwards into him, tripping on his back into the dimly-lit hallway._

     "Zidane!" Garnet dropped quickly to his side as Zidane looked up through blurry eyes at her. "What's wrong?"

     "My lady..." Zidane replied bitterly, sarcastically. A little too bitter... Garnet's eyes flashed angrily. She wasn't used to being challenged.

     "Y-your highness?" The man fumbled up from the hallway. Garnet waved at him distractedly,

     "Uhmm...oh yes, Kain this is my husband, Zidane. Zidane this is Kain...he's...a friend."

     "Strange we've never met." Zidane muttered.

     Kain tried to babble out a lame excuse, "Uh, well yes, you see it's because-"

     "Kain I think you'd better go." Garnet spoke bluntly, her eyes still locked on Zidane's. So she knew that he knew...Zidane slid further down the wall until he was almost lying on the ground. When he glanced back at the hallway Kain had disappeared.

     "So this is how it is." So this is how it was...how could he have been so blind – it all looked so plain now.

     "How what is – Zidane I think you're overreacting!" Garnet bristled back, pulling her robe tightly around her. More modest around her husband than a new friend...

     "I don't know...I think I'm reacting quite well considering the circumstances. How long have you been entertaining your male friends while I'm out in town? Since the first day we were married? Before that?" Rage bubbled out more and more as he spoke; pouring from hidden vats that he never knew existed. If Garnet was shocked at his behavior, she took it as calmly as only a queen could.

     "You're so jealous, Zidane...I swear...you're such a baby." Garnet laughed and placed a light hand on his shoulder, "Come on love...you don't think that I'd-"

     Zidane shook her hand away. "Well what am I supposed to think? What the hell should I know!? I mean you're the queen – right? Why the fuck is it my business? I'm just Zidane..."

     "I..." Garnet's gaze softened for a long moment... then the queen took over. "You're right – it isn't any of your business. If you're going to act so childish about our relationship then I suppose you don't deserve an explanation."

     "I don't need one...you can go run off with your 'Kain' for all I care."

     "Maybe I will!" Their gazes met and caught like a barbed arrow, Zidane holding on for dear life, Garnet trying to shake away in denial but unable to. "Maybe..." A frenzied bursts of faint shouts and the distant clattering of battle noises pulled the arrow free and Garnet quickly turned her head, "What was that?" 

     "Why I came up here..." Zidane rose and straightened himself, brushing roughly at his face to rid himself of any lingering tears. Whatever he was, he was still a man – and men weren't...supposed...to cry. "I have to go protect _your _palace and _your _city now...so...whatever you do, be careful." He turned to walk away.

     "Zidane wait!" His departure was impeded by her sudden tugging on his arm and before he knew it he had turned back around and was holding her in his arms and melting into her own and he was kissing her and the tears were flowing endlessly from his eyes. Goddammit he was _supposed _to be a man, but why...why did it always seem that she always had the upper hand?

     "Garnet." He panted bitterly through his tears, pulling away slowly, "I love you...you know that. My God you must know that! But if this is the way you want it-"

     "Zidane..."

     "If this is the way you want it!" He rode over her frantically, his voice dangerously close to breaking, "Then that is your decision. If this is our final parting as...as..." 'Stop crying you idiot!' "As lovers then...I'll survive. Goodbye Garnet." 'Try to walk away with something...at least give her the illusion that you're a man.'

     No such illusion succeeded as Zidane dashed headlong down the hallway, away from the royal bedchamber with the silk sheets and the wall window and the reminiscent wafts of perfumes from days gone by. Away from the tower, away from it's narrow, dark hallways and spiraling stone staircases. Away from the fear of reality that goaded just a step behind him.

     Away so fast that he never quite caught Garnet's final words; barely whispered as she clutched her arms beneath her breasts and watched him fly away. "You are my only..."

--

     The stalemate seemed to last for an eternity, time stilled by the chill breath of fear. It was quite obvious that the rioters had the upper hand. In fact they outnumbered Beatrix's meager allotment of soldiers by at least twenty to one. But still none of the members of the civilian army seemed ready to sacrifice their lives against the obviously more skilled soldiers of the Alexandrian army. So they all just stood and watched. The Soldiers watching the Priest standing above his minions, and the minions watching Beatrix. 

     Beatrix pursed her lips. That was the problem with being a General, everyone looked to you to make the first move. She had already screwed up enough for the night...she had already screwed up enough in her life – she didn't want to waste anymore lives in folly. Not to mention the fact that she had already heavily underestimated the enemy...which was the only reason that her and her soldiers were in a compromising position at all. 

     Why did today _have _to be a fuck up? Beatrix turned her eyes slowly toward Steiner and couldn't help but flinch as she did so. What a beautiful night...what a wonderful feeling...perhaps just a little extra motivation to get this damn fool's errand out of the way and spend the rest of the night with her love.

     Beatrix sighed away the thought and focused back on the enemy, reviewing the information she had in her mind. It seemed they were an army fighting because some prophecy said all the kings had to die before their savior could come back and rescue the lower class. It was pure bullshit, but that was what made them so dangerous. If this was a real army fighting for a real cause then it would be easy to reason with them...in fact a real army probably would not have attacked the Alexandrian forces at all. A group of insane dreamers however...not to mention half of the army was on reserve and had not even been alerted yet...not to mention half of the city had followed the insane dreamers on their fool's errand. In short...Beatrix was fucked.

     "Is there any way we could come to a compromise?" Beatrix ground the tip of her sword into the gravel as she said this. This had to be the first time she had ever asked that groveling question. "We realize you have a grievance, but obviously we cannot simply agree to your request. Why don't we appoint a council and meet with the queen, find some way to reconcile our differences-"

     "No." The abrupt answer made Beatrix bite her lip; "This is not a matter of comparing trivial wants like some noble's game." The High Priest stared condescendingly down his nose at her; "This is not some chance conflict between two land-grabbing nations. This is a holy war. This is a battle between good and evil." The scowl turned into an odd smile, "And I know the forces of evil love to use lies and treachery to gain the victory...however, the forces of good will not do so. The forces of good will not compromise!"

     A huge cheer rolled through his eager audience and suddenly Beatrix realized something. Sure this Priest was manipulative and insane...but these people loved him. They listened to what he said and adored his ideals and his dream... Beatrix's eyes narrowed. And they loved him more than they loved their Queen. The sword flew up.

     "Treacherous in mind...treacherous in action...Alexandria bows to no one – no one!" She swung the sword out to point at the Priest...who was oddly still smiling, "Since you choose to acknowledge some ridiculous savior over your Queen then I'll show you what is done to traitors in this great land! Hyaaaaaaaa!" With a valiant yell she hurtled forward into the horde of enemies – one thought on her mind. She would kill the crazy bastard. For Alexandria. For her Queen. For Steiner.

     A line of white armored knights closed in to block her path, but she was ready for that. Planting her feet firmly she launched herself up jumping as high as she could, then replanted her right foot on one of the Knight's armored shoulder. He grunted as her weight came down heavily then left again as she flew into a flip, spinning around as she swept her sword down, pointed straight for the head of the Priest. A perfect Climhazzard. One strike and the whole miserable night would be over. "Goodbye." She whispered into the smiling face.

     And he just kept smiling until the very last second...then...gone. Gone so suddenly that it left a clear image of him wavering in the space he had been just a moment before. But it was the image that Beatrix slashed through from head to toe, driving her sword so hard into the cobblestones that the weapon was jarred from her hands. 

     "What the hell...?" Beatrix growled, turning around slowly in confusion, half-expecting him to just be standing there a few paces away. But he was gone... 'Teleporting.' That was the answer she finally came to. 'But Vivi is the only Mage I know left alive that is powerful enough to do such a thing...if he is that powerful then...'

     Then Beatrix remembered exactly where she was, and she spun around to find her soldiers. Her plan for a crippling, battle-ending attack had failed, and so the battle had begun instead. The Alexandrian soldiers had already been pushed back by the surging mob, attacked from three sides with the broad, empty Castle Street to their back; the gleaming castle rising like a banner behind them. Beatrix couldn't tell if the battle seemed more one of pride or desperation, she didn't have time to think. The White Knights had turned their line and the mob was moving in behind her. The entire Market Plaza was filled from end to end, all of the stands and wagons pushed aside or crushed in the frenzied moment. It seemed the whole city was there, as if everyone who could hold a weapon had showed up to stab it into the Queen...in the name of a God, in the name of a Savior they didn't even know. 

     It was so damn funny she could have cried. Instead she braced herself, turning in a long, slow circle, Save the Queen extended in front of her, the strong blade shining as white as the castle in the glow of the moon. It didn't make any sense...there were no reasons, no answers, no objectives to move toward. This wasn't a battle, it was lunacy. And it was time to show Alexandria once again why she was the Queen's Sword. 'I'll spend tonight in your arms, Steiner. No matter what!'

_I try to be the man I am,_

_In times of broken lives,_

_Shattered dreams and plans,_

_Standing up to fight,_

_The pressures and demands,_

_Staring at the knife,_

_Holding in your hand,_

_What used to be your life._

_This world is crazy...crazy..._

_My dreams are fading...fading..._

_I want my life..._

_You find your fucked up holy wars,_

_Fire Anti-Christ_

_Jesus will come down_

_And help us win tonight_

_Now how should I feel?_

_I think I feel alright._

_Tell me where to aim._

_I'm blinded by the light._

_This world is crazy...crazy..._

_My dreams are fading...fading..._

_No one can save me...save me..._

_I want my life..._

_And when I wake up you'll be here._

_And it will be the way it was..._

_The way it was..._

_I want my life..._

_     My Life – Smile Empty Soul_


	11. The Rising Tides of Destiny

Kain stumbled dazedly down the stairs inside the body of a man who suddenly knew a lot more than he really wanted to. Sure Garnet was a beautiful woman – oh and yes she was the Queen of Alexandria – but that was just way too much information! Except...

Except for the bag of gold that he still clutched from the depths of his pants pocket. She had told him that it wasn't _that_ bloody big! A bag of gold that big could probably buy him a manor by the sea! And all he had done was tell her a few measly little things about his life. He personally really liked the way Queen's thanked people. Too bad he didn't know anymore of them...

But on the downside it seemed like her husband had been really...upset would be an understatement. Maybe there was something wrong with the poor man and no one had bothered to tell Kain. Like he was the crazy husband she kept locked up in the closet or something. Or maybe...Kain chewed his lip as he cleared the tower steps and started walking across the southern courtyard toward the castle gate. Maybe her husband had somehow found out about...the incident that had occurred right before Kain had walked in.

Kain blushed just thinking about it. He had no clue who the man was or what Garnet's connection to him was but...he had a pretty good clue about what they had been doing. Or...he thought he did anyway...Kain rolled the issue over in his mind for a moment, then gave up. Maybe he was just completely clueless...

"Hmm?" Kain turned to watch as a company of armored soldiers dashed by, all huffing and yelling loudly as they headed to the front gate. "What's going..." He trailed off as they charged past without giving him a second glance. 'Hope nothing's wrong.'

Kain was just beginning to follow the soldiers toward the gate when suddenly he saw a blur of colors. His feet left the ground, the breath left his lungs, and he found himself pressed up against the hard, stone tower wall with a pair of beady black eyes staring intently into his. He couldn't help but gulp as he tried to look around but a strong hand was holding him up by his neck and he couldn't see anything – nothing but the strange eyes. "What-" He tried bravely, "Who are you? What do you want?"

The eyes – or actually the mouth beneath the eyes – let out a ragged chuckle, "Kain Servant. You're supposed to be entertaining the lady. Now why aren't you...puppet?"

"Puppet? Wha..." Kain choked on lack of air and coughed, then gasped out, "What the hell are you talking about? Who are you?" The before beautiful, quiet night had gone black. The only stars left were the ones exploding around his head.

"Who am I?" The death-grip on Kain's neck was suddenly gone and he crumpled to the ground like a dead body. "I am your master...didn't you get the memo?" Kain struggled to his knees and looked up at the shadowy figure in the half-light. Most of his features were masked, but it was quite apparent that the man was big, his white skin glowing eerily in the darkness.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kain muttered, massaging his raw throat gingerly, "I'm here to deliver a gift from the Elder of Macema."

"No, I'm sorry but you're wrong. You're here to deliver a gift _to..." _The big man shook his head and laughed, "The Elder of Macema. What a fool you are. Come on, you're going to pay the Queen another visit."

Kain stood – with the help of a rough shove from the man. It wasn't until then that he noticed the other figures lurking in the long shadows of the tower. All staring at him with glittering black eyes. What was this, some kind of nightmare? Quickly he racked his brain for excuses, "But I saw her and-"

"Well I guess you forgot something then." Kain heard a high-pitched whirring sound, and suddenly a sword joined the man's skin in glowing white. The man's voice was now an animalistic growl, "Go up the stairs...go up or I'll rip out your intestines and hang you from them!"

Kain went.

--

Zidane in a flurry of violence, bowling past guards and stumbling into servants. All irrelevant – what did it matter? He pushed past them without saying a word, returning their nosey glances with an icy scowl. Who were they, after all, but guards who had never protected him and servants who never served him? It was all just...some...big...joke.

The world moved around him like a lethargic dream, sluggishly moving on toward whatever surreal event awaited him next. Like watching a play and not understanding it, except the outcome would forge his future. WHY!? Frantically he tried to gather his thoughts. What was he doing – where was he going? What was he doing? What the _hell _was he doing, and what could he possibly do? "RAAAAAAAAARGH!" He screamed his frustration to the mourning sky as he flew from the Royal Tower and ran haphazardly down a small dirt path that claimed his feet. 'What can I do – I don't even know what's going on – or why it's all happening, if anything is happening at all, or – GOD! Why the fuck am I overreacting like this – I used to be so...

'Strong.' The nerve-rending confusion left long enough for Zidane to laugh. 'When _was _I strong exactly – ever, never? Now? Have I just been lying to myself and everyone else – they all depend so much on me but really look. Look at me. Throwing a fit and bawling every time I hit a bump in my relationship...'

A bump. He laughed again, then realized there were still tears wetting his cheeks. No closer to absolution he continued to follow the small in its slow curl around the Main Keep. The night was dark and misty from the rain that still pattered softly around him, but the torches mounted along the castle walls were sufficient light. Zidane plodded on in silence, almost afraid to think – drinking in the melancholy night as an alternative. It was the perfect night for warm fires and whispered conversation, sharing nostalgic memories of the past with someone dear. It was the perfect night for a tragedy.

After running straight for a few moments the path suddenly ended and Zidane looked up to take in his surroundings. His aimless wandering had led him into the royal garden. Now far from any torches it was hard to make out much but the shadowy figures of various beds and exotic plants wilted in the rain.

Garnet had always loved the garden, though Zidane had never cared much for it. 'Just don't think about it.' "Typical." He muttered, feeling his way forward until his shins pressed up against a low stone bench. "The whole castle is one big memory of her." 'My whole life is one big memory of her.'

"Is that a bad thing?" A voice abruptly burst from the darkness, smooth and genial. Zidane reflexively reached to his side for his daggers, but touched instead the cold, heavy hilt of his gem-encrusted golden sword. He was wearing an ornamental sword. It was so stupid he could have laughed again despite the tingling of danger coursing across his body. 'I'm so blind.'

"Don't worry." The voice could apparently see him, though there was no such luck on Zidane's end. "I didn't mean to surprise you – I've just been admiring your flowers."

"Oh..." Zidane let his hands slide back down his sides. He sighed, "Just who the hell are you and what are you doing in my garden?" 'My garden.'

"Just an ignorant traveler." The voice sounded amused, "Unaware that this was a private garden...so if this is your garden that would make you either the gardener or Queen Garnet, no?"

Zidane sank down onto the cold, wet bench, putting his back casually to the stranger. "Don't mess with me tonight, ignorant stranger, I don't care who you are."

"Ah...my apologies. Maybe the Queen's husband then? You have a confident voice – used to being obeyed I'd imagine."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"Not at all. You are the great hero Zidane then? I've heard much and more about your feats." The amused tone never left the voice – something about it setting Zidane on edge.

"Well here I am – how's it feel to meet a real life hero?" The comment was laced with sarcasm but the voice in the shadows ignored it blithely.

"Anticlimactic really. You look like any other man to me. No offense."

"Eheh...that's ironic – I don't _feel _like a hero today either."

"Talking to yourself isn't very becoming of a hero either – having marital problems maybe? Garnet too much of a handful?"

"No."

"More than a handful?"

"Do you want to die?"

The voice laughed, then Zidane heard a rustling behind him and felt the stranger move closer, his breath cutting short periods in the wet sound of the garden. "I'm sorry, Zidane. Wish I could give you some sort of advice on relationships but I've personally never had a...successful one."

Zidane threw up his hands in mock frustration, loosening his gold sword in its sheath as his hands came down. It might be an ornamental sword, but it still had an edge – and any edge was better than none. "First you goad me and then you try to empathize – what exactly do you want anyway?"

The voice chuckled, "Nothing right now."

"Good then why don't you leave me alone?"

"Hmm...So what's the fight about, Zidane?"

Zidane whirled, trying to catch a glimpse of his pending opponent. The only feature he could make out in the darkness was a dark mane of jet-black hair – the stranger's back was turned to him as well. "If you're going to keep talking to me like you're some old friend then at least tell me your name?"

Pause. "Alright." The sudden weight in his voice sounded as if the man was giving away a deep secret. "It's Menoth."

"Great...wonderful...now we're practically friends."

"Hmm..." The man began moving again and Zidane quickly turned his back again. There was a soft snap and then a sudden faint waft of a sugary sweet smell. "These flowers are so lovely."

Zidane turned slightly and found himself face to face with a tangle of long, dark petals – barely distinguishable as purple. The man had his head turned slightly as he extended his hand across the gap between the two benches – his bone white hand exposed on the stem of the flower. The man was bigger than Zidane had first estimated him to be...but then again...

"It's a flower." Zidane stated bluntly, wondering if it was another one of Menoth's stupid taunts. Zidane couldn't quite remember ever meeting anyone else who annoyed him so...entirely.

"Yes...a secracia. Flowers remind me so much of the past. Something about the smell. It's...nostalgic, no?"

Zidane shrugged, "I dunno, I don't think about flowers that much, so..." He drifted off, wondering about the connotations of Menoth's cryptic questions. Then suddenly the events of the night came tumbling back into his mind – bringing a sharp pang of guilt along for company. What was he doing chatting in a garden about flowers with a lunatic? The city was in danger, his friends and Garnet, and Garnet...and Garnet...

"Well sorry to end this horribly interesting conversation, but I have my duties to look to." Zidane began to stand, "So you can just get lost...or..."

"Come on, Zidane." The flower slipped carelessly from Menoth's long, nimble fingers. "Just a stay a little longer and humor me."

"I don't know any jokes." Zidane spat, standing up stiffly and putting a hand to the hilt of his sword.

"I came all this way to see if you're half as legendary as I've heard. You know how rumors are...maybe...your shoes aren't as big as you lay claim to."

"I don't claim anything."

"Oh?" Menoth retracted his hand, and his cloak rustled softly as he changed his position. Zidane could feel every muscle on the big man tense, and a chill swept through him as his hair began to stand on end. The fragile mist of formality had ended. It was about to storm.

'Who is this man – why does he want to fight me? Why does he want to fight me now – how damn inconvenient.' He bit his lip then repeated slowly, "I don't claim anything." Mentally he blew a kiss to the wind for Garnet – 'Once again I'm protecting your kingdom...do you see me?' "So you'll just have to find out for yourself!" He roared, ducking back and stabbing out with the heavy, ornamental sword. It's glimmering hilt dripping in the accelerating rain.

--

Rain and drunkenness befriended one another to blind Blank as he staggered in a tight circle, waving his sword wildly with one hand as he tried to mop rain from his eyes with the other. Vaguely he could hear voices raised beyond the frenetic sheets that washed around him. "Look, he's stumblin' around – he probably can't even see us." A deep voice called.

A whining male voice agreed on what was temporarily Blank's left before he spun toward it, "Yeah, he's wasted – just stick 'im in the back and get it over with."

"If't was that easy why ain't he down already – he's a damn demon I think." A third voice suggested, the deep voice answered him incredulously,

"He's not a demon, ign'rt! You're just useless as that stupid butcher piece yer waving. Everyone all hit 'im at the same time!"

"Huh," The third voice, Butcher, snorted, "You get in front then, I'm not tryin' to die!"

Whiny, the second voice, came up with a new idea, "Why don' we just leave – not like we _'ave _to kill 'im. He'll prolly jus' fall over after a while anyway."

Blank kept his hand over his eyes, grinning insanely as he listened to the careful weight and measurement of his death sentence. He was feeling much...less drunk, the world had begun to take a solid factor once again – but the retreating inebriation had left him with unbearable pain in half a dozen places – his right calf and shoulder, both of his hands, a dripping gash on his left cheek. It didn't matter though, he thought as his grin widened. A still body pressed against his leg, and more littered the cobblestones – silent red landmarks in the pitch-black storm.

Were there only three left? Blank knew he had done for quite a few of the rabble, thanks in part to their nearly inept armory – mainly various work-related sharp objects, with a few rusty swords being the exception. He had killed a lot and more, fighting like a crazy, drunk banshee. But there had been a lot and more and more of them at the beginning...maybe they would just leave him – go find someone easier to kill. Then he could...finally...rest.

'Gabrielle...' Her face came to Blank's mind – she was probably sleeping in the Hilda Garde, helpless and innocent. Was that why he was slashing shadows in the storm – to protect her? He had almost forgotten. The shadows around him began to shift and he continued to walk his circle, his eyes heroically focused on the tip of his wavering blade. Maybe they would write a song about him – hell, even a play! One man against a hundred, armed with nothing but his sword and his unconquerable love for an unnamed beauty.

The hundred, no, two hundred enemies were fearsome warriors! But did that stop him? Blank wiped his eyes and slashed his sword. Hell no! Not even a thousand warriors could stop the last hero of love! Not even a million hero-eating demons straight from hell! The whole world was held at bay by his virtuous blade. The very angels cried in admiration of brave Lucifer the Lover.

Blank nodded. 'Lucifer the Lover, that's real sharp. Damn I'm good at this. So...lesse...' Ah yes, he stopped everyone in the world with his sword and the angels were crying and then the demons that didn't get their asses kicked were running away. And then...oh but first he had to suffer a grievous wound. An underhanded cheap hit...or better yet, a duel to the death with the King of the Demons! Much better – he easily vanquished the powerful devil, but the bastard's magical sword exploded and blew off...his arm. His left one.

So there he lay in the rain...that was worse than any rain ever seen by the eyes of man, bleeding from thousands of minor wounds and dying – dying! Only he couldn't possibly let go of life as long as his heart continued its undying love for the angel Gabrielle. His eyes began to close, but then a brilliant light shone ahead of him, and a perfect, voluptuous form appeared! She was completely naked except for a-

"We'll prolly get triple shares for killin' him though. He's got to be someone important – maybe even one of those ledjidary heroes I heard about!" Deepy interrupted Blank mid thought, yelling painfully loud to be heard over the downpour.

"Him?" Whiny bantered back.

"Could be..." Butcher's shadow shifted in front of Blank's sword – Blank could almost see him rubbing his chin in thought. "Ya know – I didn't even think about _that_!"

"Hey." Blank yelled back at him, "Could you just shut the hell up – I was in the middle of a nice dream!"

All three figures began shifting around rapidly, and Butcher spoke, quieter than the last time, "Did he just say that – was that him? Tom, I think he's listenin' to us!"

"Look!" Deepy bellowed back, "He's standing real still – what's he staring at?"

"Dunno." Whiny piped in, his voice cracking nervously.

"I think he's staring at me! He's looking at me!" Butcher screeched, sweeping his cleaver in desperate clumsy stabs through the air. Blank suddenly realized he could almost see the three oafs that surrounded him. The rain still shot down – though he couldn't feel it, no more than he could feel his bleeding wounds. Actually...it didn't feel like he felt anything. Strange...but still...somehow he could see. Very...strange.

"I'm not deaf!" He tried to yell as he lunged for Butcher. A neat duck and straight through the ribs. Instead his right leg crumbled beneath him and he saw Butcher's cleaver fly past his ear. White clouds rushed in to attack his sight as he dully felt his chin crack against a frigid cobblestone. Or maybe the stone cracked. If he could just look down he would be able to tell.

Heh...look...down.

Noises flew around above him and thundered in his ears over and over again. 'He fell! Huh...eeee....FELL HEFELL! Huhhhhmmm...hmmmmm...mmmmm' It was just confusing, and the rain was a million times louder now that it was hitting right next to his ears. Now he knew how cobblestones felt. Or maybe he was one? It was hard to tell. 'Something's wrong.' Blank heard someone notify whoever was in charge of his brain. And then, from the same informed source, 'It's too white.'

Blank agreed. Groping out blindly for the sword he was just holding, he latched onto the only thought that seemed to stick in his dissipating mind. 'I think I'm going to die. I can't die, I can't die – Gabrielle! I can't die I can't die I can't die I CAN'T DIE!'

His fingers touched a cold, wet object. He swung it heavily around him, trying with every fiber to stand up, or better yet, to see. It was too white.

What about all the angels and demons and magic swords? It was too soon!

'What angels and demons?'

Blank swung the sword again and again, back and forth, from his spread-eagle position on the street. He was so cold, but so numb, and the strange sounds kept running circles in his head with their big noisy, sound feet.

Suddenly the light went out – and Blank caught a big, detailed image of a cobblestone before he collapsed into it and it all went black.

Blank couldn't be sure, falling out of consciousness as he was, but the last thing that he remembered hearing was his angel calling his name.

--

The lunatic rain made the night like one long, terrifying nightmare. Everywhere Steiner turned he saw knights in white armor swinging white swords at him or his comrades. Block, parry, block, duck, block, thrust, block, retreat. An endless rhythm that after a while lost all meaning, all urgency. He was trying to stay alive, trying to find Beatrix, trying to defeat the enemy. But he was so cold, numb to the bone. And he was so tired; his armor seemed to multiply with each turn. And he was so hopeless, with every passing moment the small clusters of soldiers in red thinned more and more, blotted out by a big, white box that seemed impenetrable.

Alexandria was losing, _his _soldiers were dying, and he should do something or give some order – form ranks and organize a counterattack, or just retreat and leave the mayhem. But he couldn't think, he was helpless to do anything but raise his sword and swing it, turn and block, step and slash. His lips felt as heavy as his armor – how could he give orders if he couldn't see where his men were, or what they would do even if he knew where they were.

Maybe they had retreated already, maybe he was the last one left. Steiner threw himself at a white knight who matched him for height and size, barraging the enemy with a dozen vicious blows. The knight mechanically blocked and parried every blow, then sent Steiner on the defensive – pushing him back. Steiner collided with someone behind him and almost fell. He grunted as he regained balance, then swung his sword in a wide cyclone, taking the space as a chance to look for hope.

There was no hope. He was the last soldier on the field, too disciplined to die, too stupid to run. 'I tried.' Steiner ground his teeth stolidly, ignored his fatigue and prepared for one last charge.

"Alexandria!!" A ragged war cry came from behind him and he turned. The yell had distracted some of the knights and the handful of rioters still on the field. Steiner took his chance and dropped his shoulder, bulling forward with his sword held high – yelling his own war cry.

"Beatrix!"

The ranks shattered before him as he ran. Rabble and knights alike shied away from his charge and he slashed or trampled those that didn't. Suddenly as he ran he realized that the enemy had been packed so tightly around him because they were confused. Most of them were just milling around, half of the street enthusiasts had either left or had taken to cleaning out whatever was left in the shops. They were confused, leaderless. A snake without a head. There was hope after all.

One last knight stood in his path, crouching with his shield held tight. Steiner gripped his great sword with white knuckles and crashed right through him. The sword pierced through shield, armor and skin – then the limp body spun as Steiner ran past, jerking his sword free as he did.

And there before him, defending the street that led to the castle, were the Alexandrians. Beatrix's hair clung heavily to her face and shoulders as rivulets of rain ran down her armor like water. She looked worn and tired, as worn and tired as he was, but she was alive and unharmed. And surrounding her were five score foot soldiers, grim-faced as they planted their spears. A hundred – and more flooding from the castle, some half-dressed and all of them looking shocked. But they were there. Vivi stood at Beatrix's side, hands clasped together as he viewed the scene through large, luminous eyes. Marcus towered behind them both, grinning with his arms crossed over his powerful chest.

Beatrix shuddered as she caught sight of him. The ranks parted and he was at her side – almost relieved enough to kiss her right then and there. But not quite – it wasn't the time for it. "I'm glad you're safe."

Beatrix curled her lip and flared at him, "_I'm _safe – what about you!? Where have you been – with this damn rain I can't see ten feet in front of me!"

"I thought..." Steiner faltered and turned away, peering at the shadowy formation of the enemy ranks as he gathered himself, "I was fighting, I couldn't see and so I thought that...I thought I was alone." He couldn't explain the sudden lump in his throat and he couldn't embrace it – so he stubbornly choked it down. "Then I heard you yell."

"You almost were." Beatrix tried to keep her voice blunt, "I had no idea they would be so strong...the knights...this whole night was madness."

"I know..." Steiner continued staring blankly ahead, his eyes focused on the sprawled corpse of the white knight he had just slain.

"Me and a few others fought our way to the edge." Beatrix related the story briefly as fresh soldiers began to form lines behind them. "We would have went down but then Vivi came."

"The castle was safe." Vivi offered timidly. Steiner turned and looked down at the black mage and nodded stiffly,

"A thousand thanks, Master Vivi."

"You're welcome."

"The sudden counterattack and Vivi's magic hit them hard enough to make them fall back, Vivi and the rest roused every soldier in the city it seems." Beatrix concluded, "A lot of the rioters and looters left the square – hopefully they got sick of the rain and are going to bed. The rest..." She shrugged and tried to catch Steiner's eyes. He quickly turned his head.

"Looks like they're waiting for something." Marcus observed dryly.

Steiner couldn't really see anything – but he looked anyway. "Where is the priest – did you see what happened to him?"

"I almost killed him, but he disappeared." Steiner could hear Beatrix chewing her lip angrily. 'She's mad at me.' He could always tell when she was mad at him.

As they all fell off into silent thought, a solitary figure appeared through the heavy rain, heading straight for them. It was one of the formidable white knights, but he had sheathed his sword and both hands were held forward in a non-threatening gesture.

A hush fell through the ranks until all that could be heard was the rain. Then Beatrix's commanding voice snapped through, "Speak, Knight!"

"We have decided that this night is an enemy to us all. We will withdraw if you will – and meet again on the morrow." The face in the helmet was hidden in shadows, the voice was flat and lifeless.

But still a collective sigh followed his words, and Steiner felt he could almost smile if he weren't so damn cold. Beatrix called back, "So be it. I will meet you in this square an hour before noon."

"So be it." The white knight turned and stalked away. The Alexandrian soldiers remained rigid, all eyes turned toward Beatrix.

She was at least strong enough to put out a weak smile, "At ease. Sleep, sleep well and report to the parade grounds at 10 o' clock! Dismissed!"

The army broke ranks, every man and woman hurriedly pushing back toward the castle until the only people left in the square were Steiner, Beatrix and Marcus.

Marcus took a long look at Beatrix, than a long look at Steiner. Then he ran a hand across his face and turned back toward the castle.

Steiner stood alone, speechless, and cold. And when he looked down at Beatrix he saw that she was shaking heavily. "Are you..."

"Yes." She answered sharply. Then she looked into his eyes and began to sob, "No. No!"

"Beatrix..." He put his hand on her shoulder and paused, feeling enormously uncomfortable. She clutched his steel-plated arm and sobbed harder.

"So many died..._so many_, Steiner. My men, my women, _our _soldiers! For what? Why...why di...why-"

"I don't know." It _was _wrong. It was stupid and confusing and sad. But the only ache he felt was from watching Beatrix cry, watching her heart tearing and not knowing how to help. "Let me take you back."

She didn't say anything, but she didn't resist as he swung her up into his arms and carried her back to the castle – Save the Queen still clutched in her hands. When they reached the gates and relieved solace from the rain, she finally sniffed, looked into his eyes and said, "I hope I don't wake up tomorrow."

That was when the blinding light suddenly filled the castle.

--

_Everyone is changing  
There's no one left that's real  
To make up your own ending  
Let me know just how you feel  
'Cause I am lost without you  
I cannot live at all  
My whole world surrounds you  
I stumble then I crawl  
  
You could be my someone  
You could be my scene  
You know that I will save you  
From all of the unclean  
I wonder what you're doing  
I wonder where you are  
There're oceans in between us  
But that's not very far..._

_Can you take it all away?_

_Blurry – Puddle of Mudd_


End file.
